It was Wednesday night and I was seriously engrossed with watching The Apprentice as it had been a particularly bad episode and everyone on the losing team were getting shredded by Sir Alan.

Suddenly around 9.45 pm there was sudden BANG and then shudders and tremblings. My sitting room was jarred with our pictures jangling from side to side. I shouted to my Mum to see if she OK because it felt like something had fallen on my building and she was upstairs. See me sprinting up our stairs (never seen a fat girl run so fast) to find my Mum going "what was that? I was lifted off my bed and back again."

I went unto our balcony and looked out to see everyone in the three blocks that make up my avenue either coming out of their building or looking off their balcony. No one knew what was going on and were milling around trying to figure out where the blast had come from. Then (God bless 999) the sirens came. First the police, then ambulance, then absolute hoards of fire engines. To my dawning comprehension I realised that they were parking not too far from us, across the other side of our main road.

Finally I told my Mum that I'm going down to see what's going on and she said she would join me. When we got down to our main road, they had cordoned off everywhere and sent the traffic back up the road and the buses had to discharge the poor people they had on board to continue on foot. That's when we found out that there had been a gas explosion across the road and no one knew any of the details.

I had to wait till 11pm for the news channels to carry the news and give us details. So between 11pm and 12am I found out that two houses had been totalled, three people had been pulled out alive and that it was a gas explosion. Later unfortunately one man died and yesterday they said that IT WAS NO LONGER BELIEVED TO BE AN ACCIDENT !!!

So now we are waiting to hear what they are going to find out. Yesterday I walked past the bomb site and saw the surrounding damages to nearby offices as well. I kept thinking that that could have been me, he was my age and living down the road and now POOF!, his life is over. Now though, it is no longer a simple gas explosion so what's going on?

Well we shall pray for the dead man and his family, the injured people and the poor street residents who are not allowed back in their homes for now.

My mother is driving me crazy..... absolutely up the proverbial wall. I'm already stressed with my life at the moment and I really do not need her adding to my issues. This is the reason why people MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOMES!!

I'm stressed, preparing for a big interview, still applying for other positions, trying to balance out ever dwindling funds and having the whole "am I where I'm meant to be thoughts", only to now have her chewing my head saying "do something about your weight, I can't stand looking at you".

LOVELY.

Well, I will try my best to remedy that situation. I will be out of the house and out of her way for as long as humanly possible. I am in such a narky mood!! I want to break something or scream or do something!!!

I wish everyone would just leave me alone and let me be. Quite frankly I don't care right now if the fact that I'm a size 16/18 causes her sleepless nights. Let me step out of the house and get pregnant, them we will have something to talk about!!!!! Why stop there? How about tattoos all over my body Prison Break style, or a STD or two????

I don't need this right now.

I'm a naughty blogger. Haven't written in ages. I was thinking about this lately and I said maybe it's because nothing much has been happening. That's not completely true though. Things happen, if they didn't I would be dead or in a coma or something right?

Ohhhh it is time for me to leave the house, I am now dangerously approaching maximum facebook addiction sadness. I have really shocked myself, in fact I'm banning myself from facebook for the whole weekend and come next week whether I have a temp job or not I will leave my house for longer than 15 minutes!!!

What did I do? I checked if I had moved position on some one's top friend's list on their profile page.....................

I need help or some kind of intervention (possibly spiritual at this stage). The funny thing is I have things to do outside. I need to go to the doctors and I need a new Nigerian passport from the embassy. Instead of getting to those, I keep postponing them and end up on facebook doing sad, sad, sad things !

I'm officially putting myself in the naughty corner. I really miss Phoenix at times like this. I need to be beaten back into my senses.

My home girl asked me to be her bridesmaid!!!! Yeah I'm soooooooo excited!! I am a romantic (not hopeless romantic though cos Naija kicked that one out of my system) and I was there at the beginning five flipping years ago when it all budded like a flower in springtime (wow I'm on a roll this morning).

Also I now have the absolute kick starter for me losing my stomach cos the other two bridesmaids are slim and all that so IT'S ON BABY!!! Also her getting married makes feel a whole lot better about something not so wise I did which I will explain later.

Finally got introduced to ex-hottie's current lady friend. I had been so eeeekkkk about it before but it had never come to pass, so that by the time yesterday rolled by, I had no more drum rolls in me so it was totally normal. Of course I was nice and well mannered and the lady seems very nice so there is no need to be all evil eye about the whole thing LOL.

I would rather have spent as much time as possible in the kitchen with Phat Lady (ex-hottie's sister and my home girl of 9 years) but she was all "go eat in the sitting room, leave me in the kitchen", so with heavy heart I had to join the couple and watch tv and make small talk. That wasn't really so bad, what was appetite reducing was remembering that the couch where they were sitting on had also played host to me and his royal nibs during heavy make out sessions!!! Very weird......

It does leave room for thought, can I get back to the time when we all hung out as friends ?? It would make things so much easier in my head. Maybe have some kind of mind erasure machine to delete certain scenes from doing playback when you least need them. I still stand by my declaration that I'm over him but please I'm not made of stone LOL .

OK, BACK TO THE APPLICATION FORMS!

I keep wearing my knickers inside out, no seriously I'm being very honest here. Something is wrong with my mental state and maybe this is a silent plea for help! It was fine if it were just the thongs cos I have some sheer ones and one side can look like the other if you are in a rush but shock horror, it also happened with my normal high legs!!!!!

My Mum once said that if you were your clothing inside out unintentionally it meant that you were going to get money. Well if that was the case, it would be raining money like a Lil Wayne video! I think I need to start some kind of deep breathing and deep meditation so I am more in control and more focused, maybe then I will start wearing my knickers the right way around.

PS Found this advert online about patches you put on your body to reduce your cravings for food. There was a free trial pack, so trust me now, I sent for it. It's a week supply and I am currently on day 2. Will document if it works for me on not after the week is over. So far it just smells like a mini pharmacy stuck on your body :)

I hate application forms, it's bloody snowing in England a lot, my Mum keeps NAGGING me to the point of desperation and I missed the first episode of season two's Brothers and Sisters. Oh sigh!

What gets me the most is the application forms ! They are like a totally necessary evil!! Heaven has smiled on you if you find one that is less than six pages long!! You can't apply for work without them apart from if you are really lucky and get those vacancies where they just ask you send in your CV (oh joy, oh bliss).

That doesn't happen though, where would the fun be if it did? How could get they get their daily jollies if not for reading the answers us poor saps have written to stupid questions like 'how has your hobbies formed your personality?' and my personal favourite; 'why did you apply or this position?'..... ANS 'I applied for this position because I'm not a size 0 with huge fake boobs, therefore I cannot get through life as a footballer's wife. Because of said defect I now find that I have to actually work for a living earning some kind of wage that will keep me in lip gloss, shoes, fake hair and of course food and shelter!!!!!

After my much needed therapeutic ranting, I came across some baby pictures and thought awwwwww, look at me when life was simple and my biggest problem was nappy rash. So I cranked up my brand new spanking scanner and decided these pictures were the much needed antidote to my previous bad mood!
PS I will explain about my hissy fit later!

I don't care anymore, I don't care, I don't care!!!!! I'm such a wossy sappy idiot sometimes , I really am!!!!

No more, no more , no more, caring, feeling, sharing, missing people who obviously don't miss you or anything!!!!! STUPID GIRL!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I have had better phone conversations with a bit of mature cheddar!!!! And sending me a text afterwards to say thanks for calling, doesn't win any stupid brownie points!!! Instead all it does is make you sound like the Customer Care Department of some faceless multi national!!!!!!!!

Spending money I don't have to buy a phone card and call people, well I shouldn't have bothered!!!!! I have better people i could have called back home but shame on me , I called you instead!!!!!


No more, no more , no more, it just brings so much headache!!!!!! It is sooooooooooooo much better to not be bothered, not like anyone and at least be in possession of your sanity!!!!!

Well this is the sign I needed, it ends right here!!!!!


THE ICE QUEEN COMETH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!