Sooooooo things were looking up today when my sister -in-law came back from her first bout of chemo. She is actually my cousin's wife but they are closer than that to me so it was fabulous to have her back in the house for the weekend.

In the evening I ran to the gym for a yoga class with this goddess of a woman called Rosie. Now Rosie looks like she could be in her early fifties but her body is that of a sixteen year old. All toned and supple and muscled...Talk about being the perfect advert for your trade!!!

Now during the class while we are twisting ourselves into all sorts of natural (or unnatural ) positions, Rosie will walk by some people and say "fantastic form Jack", or " you are progressing really well, lovely"! Well I wanted that to be me! I could be supple too!!!

So today I was really bending and twisting and moving hands, legs and even my butt in all sorts of directions and in the middle of my Triangle pose, she comes to me and says "your torso is perfect , look at that lovely stretch, fantastic!" Yeahhhhhhhhhh

Suddenly I feeling like yoga goddess extraordinaire. I'm two seconds away from releasing my own fitness video, I'm feeling smug as it has been a while since I did yoga and have wondered if I had lost my flexibility. Hurrah for me!

Then as the class is moving along we enter one deep move called Pigeon or something like that and it's not even that bad but I wasn't concentrating and 'KPOM' goes my left hip. OUUCHHHHHH!

The long and short of it is that I limped home this evening and have been favouring my hip like my Grandma... I know there is a lesson in here somewhere.

PS HAPPY BIRTHDAY CK

• Phat Lady was proposed to by her long time boyfriend and she said yes! Yeah.. Plus I'm Maid of Honour (capital letters provided by me). They are aiming for March 2010 though !!! Yikes! I guess that is enough time for excess body mass to take a hike!

• After chasing my old boss around, he finally sent my reference, so I start work next week Monday. Ohhhhh watch this space for plenty work gist!

• Last but in no way least, my back fat has gone! Ladies know what I'm talking about, it's those two wings you get under your bra strap on either side of your body. Also the over hanging part of my upper arm that hangs over my elbows has also gone!!!! I know that as a big person it's a bit weird that these exact parts of my body get special mention. What it is, is that those parts show that I was entering a whole new zone of being overweight and to see them gone means that I'm not suffering in vain in those extra scary gym sessions. My tummy is also getting under control so I'm more determined!

I'm not dead but I can't write, the thing hated by all bloggers..... too many things on your mind and trying to find which thread to unravel first. Stay happy.

Yes I watched the match and yes quite frankly it was gripping. Chelsea and Manchester United where not giving an inch and it was nail biting to the end but if you want a blow by blow analysis of the Champions League final, go to another blog! Happily though my household is Man Utd all the way! LOL

I'm a bit narky because it's my cousin's wedding on Saturday so I went to bring out a traditional outfit I was going to wear and IT WAS TOO TIGHT!

AAAARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

That night is also my friend's African themed gala (hence looking for trad) but I'm not going down that road thank you very much. Exit lace, enter normal dress! I last wore the blasted outfit for my graduation in November 2006 and look what I have done to my hips in under two years. It is those damn hips, dynamite wouldn't blast them. If what they say about child bearing hips are true then my baby will be out in about 4seconds :)

Okay for some research I was looking at my really old posts to see what I wrote about NYSC, and I came across what I wrote about ex-hottie in my first ever post.....
OH LORD, how totally sad am I??? I can't believe I wrote that crap! OK don't get me wrong, I was being honest, but please "the power to make my insides curl and heat reach my toes".........

I should be sent to some kind of blogger detention for crimes against cheesiness LOL!! There is a reason why this blog is anonymous ( and for the three people that know it's me, it's too late to stop being my friend now).

Also he has started calling me 'Sis', can you imagine? Who is your sister? From where? If he calls me that again, I'm going to pull him to one corner and explain some simple biology topics to him, MCHEW!

By the way, did anybody know that the slang phat meant: Pretty Hot And Tempting? I DIDN'T!!! What's worse I have to gather this piece of information from a 2000 Sidney Sheldon novel no less?? Wow! I'm seriously retro LOL.

I can't sleep because of cramps and I'm worried about my sister in law who is sick. So I'm going to stay up and type nonsense till the four hour mark has reached and I can get more pain killers.

I think I'm going on a date on Wednesday. I say think because I might yet give in to good sense and cancel. The man is decent and doesn't have horns and a tail but I'm not tripped. Maybe that's better anyway as when I am tripped nothing good happens (reference past two years). We will see how it goes.

Please pray for my sister in law. Time for pills.

I got the job!!!! Yipeeeeee !!!! Hurray!!!!! Conga line across the world!!!! Mexican wave!!!!!

Let me start from the beginning!!

I got there 20 minutes early and was sooo nervous. My heart was pounding and I felt so sick. Every time I found a way to calm down, I would remember that I was here for my only interview to date and I'd want to puke up! I had time to salvage my hair in the bathroom and i said to myself, "what would other people do?"......

Parents - Pray
Phoenix - Apply loads of lip gloss
D-Girl - Go over her material
Phat Girl - Nothing, because she knows she is fabulous

I therefore did all of the above and went back into the waiting room. So the first thing was to write a press release and I had thirty minutes. That was OK, once I got my hands to stop trembling, knew all the rules and even had time to go online and get a logo and put it on the document.

After that I was lead up two floors to the interview room, now I know you are meant to shake hands but they were around an awkward table and there was a flipping projector blocking me. Now talking about the Projector, my stupid PowerPoint didn't open because I did it on Vista !!!! Luckily I had printed coloured slides and they were like "good thinking!" Aah my coloured ink finished for a noble cause.

The questions were a lot!!! My throat was soo dry after I finished answering. I kept trying to sit up straight, and watch my body language and not waffle !!! Aahh I was so tired afterwards, it was sheer will they kept me on my feet back home when I was done.

Now they had told me they would get back to everyone by the next morning, but they called me that evening.

I WAS SOOOOOOO HAPPY, I DID AN IGBO VICTORY DANCE :)

I'm not sure when I start but I have to do a criminal check as I am working with under 18's but I will keep you posted!!

It's tomorrow, it's tomorrow!!!!! Pray for me please........

PS The newest machine in gym hell is the stepper! It's nasty.

Well after some days ruminating (is that the correct spelling?), I got a few ideas rolling and I'm currently trying to finish up the presentation and email it to my friend so he can have a look. Feeling a bit cooped up I decided to go to the gym yesterday with D-Girl as we both need to shape up our summer bodies LOL.....

The next morning I am still in pain.

Who died and made me Jane Fonda? After some time on the cross trainer we joined a body pump class, where you stand in front of the instructor with a bar and different weights you can attach to it to work on all your muscle groups.
I had done it before but had forgotten how I normally distribute my weights, so by the time we were on the floor doing chest lifts I was crying out to Jesus.

Well today is spinning and if that doesn't kill me then nothing will. Trust me though I will not chicken out after paying hefty gym joining fee with money I don't have. For the record I still hurt as I type ;)

I have an interview on Thursday. It is the first one I have been called to in all the stupid application forms I have been filling. As part of the interview I have been told to come up with a 10 minute presentation about how to promote a new diploma that the college is running. Now see, it's like I have writer's block. I have been thinking and thinking and all I have been coming up with has been lack lustre. It has no kick, no pep.........

Another scary thing is that I will be given a 30 minute task, but I don't know what it will entail so that is giving me nightmares too. Talking about nightmares, when I go to sleep I have such bizarre dreams that I wake up totally exhausted!!! I am going KOLO!! And it's like I feel I have no one to talk to because it all sounds slightly stupid.

Hence me blogging twice in one day (sad cow that I am). I always there to give advice and help when asked but when it comes to my turn I just feel like everyone has there own drama, why add my own to it.

I'm going to go back to the college website to see if i can get inspired by what they do. I have a headache.