CaramelD


The very thought of trying to chronicle my recent trip to Nigeria and my Grandma's funeral has me breaking out in a cold sweat and my nasty reaction to my malaria medication is not helping so I thought I would ease myself in back to blogging by sharing my recent epiphany.

I was on Twitter and Aribaba of Jaguda.com fame tweeted something to the effect that he felt that he wasn't emotionally shook up enough to truly enjoy the power of Adele's 21 album and I replied that I had the same thought that week when I was listening to the album as well.

Then it hit me.........

I really wasn't burnt any more. Not by any of them! If you cast your eyes over the past four years of my blog there are a few names that totally cut me off at the knees emotionally but somewhere along the way I really just let it go! Trust me this is a big deal. Before it was a boost to hear their name and not want to hurl, but now I went through the names in my head and my head, heart or stomach did not lurch!

That is what brings me back to Adele's album. The woman is a an emotional genius. You would think that one of her eleven songs were solely talking about you. She doesn't hold anything back, not the anger, the sadness, the desperation...it's all there! But as much as I love love love her, I listen to the songs with appreciation but not my requisite sack cloth and ashes. It is sooooo liberating.

Trust me I don't know when it happened. With ExH, he has changed so much I can't even see the man I fell in love with so moving on was no hardship. Then there is Baked Beans, now here I really feel someone should give me a gold star and an A+ grade. I went home to Nigeria and not once did I call or text him (yeah me!!!). My official stance will always be that we could have been fabulous but I no longer feel like he owes me anything. It's just an acceptance that none of these men were for me, even the one I never named but always called him the Prototype (to my perfect man) oh well, we will always have London!

I thank God shah, big girls like me don't need the extra baggage (hmm let me go weigh myself, emotional baggage must be about a couple of pounds at least!!). Maybe this is how I start my new decade. I don't know how and when it happened but I like it!!! Ladies and gentlemen I declare myself ex-free!