So today at work I am dressed in black tousers, a black vest and and a cream and brown cardigan that doesn't close. I have been up and down the office, talking to everyone in my office and some colleagues in my building.

Around midday I had a meeting with my line manager and the first thing she said is "I can see your leopard print bra"!!!

Chai Jesus!

For three hours I had been walking around with my top completely see through and my bra nice and visible!

The shame!

My top is normally not see through at all. My only explanation is that while on my period my normally big chest goes even bigger and it must have stretched my top more than usual.

See what women suffer!!

PS I have finally booked my theory test. All prayers for success happily welcome.
Ermmmmmm my blog is meant to be a coping mechanism for my life. But my life is now running at a speed that seems to not allow me have time for my blog! Well that's just ridiculous! I refuse to stop writing. Where else will I mutter and rant about all the bizarre things that happen in the never ending drama called life?

So I'm in my office and I'm in early. I could start on one of the never ending news stories I have to write, or start my award submission or call our student ambassadors for help in our events, but no. I'm going to write instead and damn everything else for the next ten minutes.

Well where to start?

Well I don't like my job that much anymore. It breaks my heart to say this but it's true. I also not loving having my pay frozen for the next two years. I can't help run my house on this income so I will have to start looking for a new job around summer.

Oooooooh I'm going to Miami!!! I'm going to Miami !!!!!!!! I'm going to Miami!!!! This will be first non-family related trip to America and I can't wait. It will also be a perfect opportunity to work through my 30b430 list. I haven't forgotten it you know! In fact I shall be crashing a party this weekend if everything goes to plan (that is number 14).

My Dad is back in London for a barrage of more tests and Mum in still in Nigeria for another two weeks, which means me in the kitchen (more so that usual) scratching my head for meal ideas to keep my Dad happy till my Mum gets back (long tings!!!!).

Britain is still full of doom and gloom and everyone hates David Cameron and thinks Nick Clegg is the greatest betrayer since Judas Iscariot.

My work load has tripled and I'm working longer hours which makes not want to exercise anymore. The result is a bigger Caramel and it's not funny at allllllll. My gym membership is going by the wayside so I'm going to cancel it and go to local community classes in kickboxing and Zumba.

Here's a little thing I heard yesterday and want to share: "Fear knocked at the door, faith answered and no one was there."

OK time is up! Back to the salt mines. Shout out to all my favourite bloggers whose blogs I miss reading :(
So.......on the whole, for me, even with some rays of light, 2010 was shit.

From January 3rd when a classmate died to a few days ago when my 16 year old relative passed on too, I felt that the year just wouldn't let up. I also got quite resentful with all that I catalogued in my head as never ending drama, seven deaths, house wahala, Mum's operation, my tussle with pneumonia and fighting unemployment. When we got a cancer diagnosis for a loved one I thought that was the end of me.

I did try very hard but naaaa, it just wasn't gelling (especially over Christmas aarrgghhhh). The funny thing now though is that as we enter 2011, there is that little point of grudging determined optimism. If you don't have hope that things will be better then what kind of life do you hope to live?

So no matter what I have hope for 2011. No the rah rah cheerleader over hyped excitement I had at the beginning of last year, but a quiet focus that I have to get a few basic things right for me. Yes, I said me. Not anyone else. I keep helping people live their own lives I forget to sort mine out. Well that has to stop for now. (I still wish everyone peace and love shah but don't call me LOL).

I hope I'm making sense.

I give this year over to God, totally and completely.