I was reading one of my favourite blogs and the post of the day was an established blogger's tips on how to keep your blog interesting. I was working my way down the list and most of what he was saying made sense and I got to number 13 it said "be startlingly honest".......

That line struck such a chord with me because I have noticed something.

When I started blogging it was such a release for me. So many things were happening in Nigeria and I thought if I don't get these things down I will forget and will not believe my own memories. So I wrote! With such vigour and my fingers flying off the keyboard. Then when my friends started reading and I did particularly naughty things or get into weird situations I found myself censoring my blog!


Why do that? In moments of honesty I knew it was because of some of my friends who know a particular aspect of me who would be startled to read some other errrmmmmm private accounts, painful accounts etc. Most of them know all the crazy, but not all! Well that is such a cop out! Another blog that comforted me through so many boring and stressful days is Laide's and she is so honest! She doesn't hold back and her words ring true and proud!

So I hereby make a declaration that I will not edit information out of my blog. Maybe my experiences will help some of the other 10 people that read my blog :) but most importantly it will be a true account for me to look back on further down the line.

PS You have been warned! LOL
My friend told me last weekend, that she had a blind date and she was put off because the man in question treated the date like a business merger, telling her what he wants in his future life partner, and how the children should be raised. Her exact words were that he came on all 'uncle like' with his five year plan and his motto of "if you fail to plan, then plan to fail". According to my friend Jill every time she tried to move to other topics he wouldn't be budged.

She concluded by telling me she was going to send him an email telling him that she wasn't interested (as he had scared her off). The following is what I saw in my inbox today and I have followed her suggestion to spread her cautionary tale LOL

*Names have been changed for privacy!

If you thought I was exagerating about my blind date, please read the exchange below (feel free to circulate to any females who could benefit from my cautionary tale)...........

Thanks for your reply. I think the content of your email proves to me that we don't have compatible personalities. I think you're approaching things quite seriously and that's not the type of person I am. Thanks again. I wish you well but I don't think I'll be in contact again. Jill

Subject: Re:

Many thanks on receipt of your email....I must write that though I wasn't expecting to read from you this soon as I thought you need ample time to reflect and identify what I really want at this stage, bearing in mind you may be in contact to ask more questions. On the contrary your thot is highly appreciated, respected , & has not gone un-noted!

Sunday was nice, thanks to you!

It appears you did not get a proper feel for what I am looking for as per the context of your mail; convincingly explaining further on your thots shall be much appreciated as this will help us identify and resolve other mitigating factors amicably.

You will appreciate that unless we allocate time and personal zeal to meeting, conversing, and socialising together; I shall consider myself to be helpless with no opportunity to portraying my personality and what I really want at this stage.

I must stress that majority of the issues discussed was on a forecasting basis, not necessarily now.

Quite frankly in my opinion establishing personal needs on a first date, need not be a major determinant. Perhaps you did not feel the spark, I strongly believe the above can be worked on most especially by spending time together; but of-course we are two different peeps!

Candidly, I felt the spark on Sunday and quoting my words to you 'having you as a companion will be much appreciated'.
Have you asked Jack happy with what I want? I am.

Jill, I would appreciate speaking to you further on receipt of your contact number; please accept my thanks in advance for honouring my request.

How has the week been for you so far, hope you have fused into it well?

Please look after yourself, whilst waiting in anticipation to reading from you?

Assuring you of my best intention at all times.

Kind Rgds


Comments please! I have had this type of date before but never this deep! Oh dear! Our dates willl soon start having PowerPoint presentations ;)

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'NO!'

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, drank whole bottles of wine, chatted for hours on the phone to friends, always had a clean house, watched chick flicks without feeling guilty, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, didn’t have to pay for dual view tv, travelled more, had a career, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself.
She went to the theatre, never watched sports, owned every remote control in the house, never wore friggin lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, and felt and looked fabulous all the time.


I think this was written by a woman on the edge! Its hilarious!

So sick of keeping quiet!!!!!!!

Don't say this, don't say that. don't rock the boat, be nice!!!

Be nice my bum!!!!
I'm getting better as I get older because I realise somethings need to be said for my own piece of mind but ohhhhhhhhhh there are some people that as I am talking to them I'm thinking "if only I could say what I want to."

For therapeutic reasons feel free to join me in venting! I won't enter my 27th year with certain things on my mind! LET'S GO!!!!

  • Get a life!!!
  • Stop calling me only when you need something.
  • If you keep f*&king around on that girl she will leave you and you will regret it for the rest of your life.
  • Don't think I'm crying because you don't call me anymore, I have plenty of family so seeing you at weddings and birthdays is good enough for me.
  • I love you but I think you are getting married too soon just for marrying sake and haven't spent enough time getting to know your man properly.
  • No I don't drive, and until you are ready to pay for my test and lessons you can shut up about it!

If I remember anymore I'll put it up!

"Stop being a grumpy cow!" - DGirl
"He's got the whole world in his hands.....(and the rest of the hymn)" DGirl
"Call that guy" - Neny
"Do you want Ugly Betty re-runs?" - Phoenix
"Try horlicks" - VV
"You need to have sex" - DGirl
"Drink gin" - Chris

These are just snipets of ideas from my blessed friends around the world. Thanks to a sleeping pill. I slept for a whole night undisrturbed for the first time in two weeks last night so I feel better. I still have an aversion to people, a short temper and don't feel like calling anyone but it's not so bad. You just need to know that I am blessed with people that care for me. Take my Emerald Queen (the sexiest Irish woman I know) for example. She asked me out on Sunday to which I declined saying I didn't want to leave my house this weekend. She replied with wise words to cheer me up! When I replied that I was now very sure that I loved her, please read her reply:

"Darling if I wasn’t Catholic and straight I’d have waved a diamond under your nose long ago. I could be a good daughter-in-law. I could learn Igbo. I could look fine in a fishtail skirt’n’matching-blouse. I can learn and respect the finer points of weave maintenance. I might not look great in a head wrap (and nevermind learning to actually pin one up) but I am willing to try it. The key to a successful and lasting relationship is compromise and willingness to be flexible.

Ultimately, isn’t it a shame about the man-thing? The sad thing is that they have no appreciation for things like haircare knowledge, no matter how hard you have to try at it."

LOL, I rest my case! Who told her about the fish tail skirts?! I only take the blame for weave and all things fake hair :)

I love you ladies xxx
I am losing control over my life and wish it was a video where I could press pause and sort stuff out, then press play again when I have a grip.

And no it's not my time of the month thank you very much!

I'm also getting anti-social. My friend is coming around for a few days to chill because her house is a construction zone and I wish she wouldn't but can't say anything. How do you explain that you love that there is no food in the house and you want it to stay that way. that you don't feel well and do not want to make conversation and that right now you would gladly not speak to anyone longer than five minutes?

Also I my weight has crept up and I wish I could stop harping on about it but I can't. Right now honestly I would give anything for pills or appetite suppressants or something! I am quite shocked at where my mind has gone regarding my weight but I still think it. I would gladly go over to the dark side if it would at least give me a kick start.

Normally when I write I feel better, but right now I don't feel better, the dark clouds are still gathering.
It has never been like this before, but that does mean that I won't get burnt sooner or later? Every rational thought says there is no future in this, just cut yourself off from this man and be done with it but I can't seem to listen. I was so cold for so long and wouldn't be moved. I turned myself to the Ice Queen I wanted to be but he has been carving nicks for the past 8 months and is slowly cracking my wall of ice and frost.

The power trip doesn't help my rational thinking either. To see the effect I have on him, to feel actual real female power does wonderful things for my ego, it really does and it can make you drunk. Yet even with the funny texts, the steamy phone calls, the long chats about life issues, I still hold back. I can't give all of myself because I have no assurances that to do so would be safe. I have been beaten over the head before so now I have learnt to duck when I feel the blow coming.

I guess that means that there is still a rational part of me left, I have to be in control somehow. Is that wisdom?
It's official! When I go on vacation I don't blog. This is the second time it has happened. I think I lock everything down to get a rest and distance myself from normally life as I know it which includes blogging! To be fair in this case, the first week I was so tired I didn't leave the house my first week. I pottered around in jogging bottoms, went for long walks and played scrabble with my Uncle.

The second week then the circus (my Mum's family) came from all around. America, Nigeria, Canada and England. I learnt a big lesson you can hate someone in five minutes and love them in the next five when they are your loved ones. Complete chaos, we had 17 kids at one time not to mention adults and visitors !!!!! One minute I'm shouting at them not to leave dirty dishes in the sink and the next minute we are dancing to my Aunty's sound system.

Oh the house!!! What a house!! Three floors, five bedrooms, four sitting rooms, two dinning rooms, three bathrooms, office, two kitchens...God bless Americans and their space to build!!! Outside looked like Wisteria Lane all manicured lawns and shrubbery. The only down side is if you don't have a car , then go and sleep because there is no king but the automobile. I only went out/shopping twice and then I had to hustle for a ride but it was all good!!

I'll tell you about the party later but on a sad note I stupidly packed my Cousin's maple syrup in my hand luggage and they took it off me :( See what terrorism has turned us into!!! The important thing was that I got a chance to spend proper time with my brother which is invaluable.

PS Do you want to laugh? Ex-hottie's girlfriend sent me a friend request on Facebook! Have I not come a long way? Can someone please clap for me because I am growing! From the very sound of her name making me feel ill to me accepting her friend request on Facebook! Haba that is maturity oh jare! Like I said before she is cool, so what can one do?