Today I feel so restless. Slightly irratable, uninspired and bored. Hardcore Buffy fans will remember the show's musical episode 'Once more with feeling'. I totally feel that the opening number is all about me right now.......

Hope I snap out of it soon. Everything just feels hum drum and very black and white. I need technicolour excitement!

I don't know how it is for other people, but if I didn't have God in my life, I would be a wreck. I'm barely hanging on to my sanity as it is and that is only because I still struggle with completely letting go and handing over EVERY worry to Him. I'm getting there though. Baby steps eh?

With families, we all grow up and learn to live with aspects of our loved ones' behaviour and try and work around it for the sake of harmony and peace and anyone who knows me knows that I am slow to anger and confrontation and will always look for a peaceful solution out.

With that in mind, I pray that God reaches out and talks sense to my Dad very soon or I will not be held responsible for my actions. My Dad's behaviour this past few weeks is baffling to say the least. As in I don't even sleep properly anymore. From a misplaced sense of male pride and ego, my Dad is now a source of constant headache and worrying to us. I am tired! His peers and confidants who might have talked sense into him are unfortunately no longer with us so I don't even know who to turn to. So I pray now for the Grace of God to intervene. If my Dad, through his actions, jeopardises the hopes of my family, like I have said before, I will not be held responsible for what I will do.