My Dad is around for a couple of weeks. He is also going to America for the family reunion but he isn't big on the country so he came to Ol' Blighty first for some rest. We were talking about a cousin of mine who according to my Dad left the Catholic Church (worst thing ever in the eyes of my Father) to join an African Independent Church because according to my Dad, "she was looking for a husband, which still hasn't come."

Now I'm not going to start blogging about which religion is good for one's soul because cyberspace is only so big, but what made me sad is what you constantly find in Nigeria which is desperate people going from one church to another seeking a solution to a particular thorny issue in their life. Many a time I have seen a banner in Lagos saying " WE WILL BRING YOU HUSBAND, BABIES, MONEY etc", like the Church is some kind of supermarket where you order to your particular needs. It isn't about that, find your relationship with God and stick with it even in desperate times. A church is about community and family, having somewhere to worship together. The problems won't change with a different church location, they will change with your acceptance of the the power of God in your life.

I worry though you know. Yes, I worry that I too may become like my cousin. Not the Church part, but the no husband in your thirties part. I don't want a husband as some kind of status symbol but as a partner, lover and friend. Someone who has your back always, where the both of you form your own personal A-Team! LOL

I know I'm lonely now, but to still be like this ten years from now, I shudder, I think I'm actually getting goosebumps. The problem also is that the more panicked a woman gets the more likely she is to choose the wrong person, which is even worse. I pray now (because God surfs the net too) that I will have the man who is worthy of me and vice versa. Who will not quail at the sight of my huge family, who will understand that I can't talk during my sitcoms and who will make me see life with new eyes. He will love God and love me, knowing full well that I love him without conditions and will join me to make our home a haven on this stormy planet, Amen.
The last set of ranting about my weekend.

I am on my way across the pond, to the land of stars and stripes. Why? Because my Mum's baby sister is having a 40th birthday party to end all 40th birthday parties (her words) and it has also turned into a family reunion. I'm already stressed as it is because my Mum's sisters favourite topic is my weight but I was going to 'man up' and get through the two weeks. I'm not asking for much just a chance to hang with my baby brother and sleep!

I'm flying with an American airline that will give you 2 x 23 kg right? Well my Mum hijacks one suitcase and packs it with things for my Aunty that you can't find in America like coloured bleach and I saw that one coming she does it all the time so whatever! What got me was that she now packed a little bag of 5kg with some stuff for my brother for my other suitcase!! She didn't tell me till the night she was going because she knew I would flip. My temper is up but I'm still breathing......

SO when she starts calling me from Minnesota with a growing shopping list of things she still needs and for some reason can't get in America I have to ask if they can't be bought there? WOW She flips on the phone and screams at me, and yells that I am now 'too white' and I shouldn't bring anything anymore!! I give up! This is why I should have had more siblings, I shouldn't see through this madness on my own.

Soooo to bring up the weekend of trial and tribulation I now realise that I have lost all feeling on the left side of my right foot and all that I have there is a numbness like perpetual pins and needles! It is totally freaking me out. My doctor says she can't do much for me and that if I am stressed it might be the cause and I need to relax! Oh boy! At some point on Sunday evening I just wanted to cry, but then I tried to get a grip.

Only highlight was going out with the girls to a night of disco classics, Motown hits and cheesy rock on Friday night! It was a great!!! No 50Cent in sight LOL! I have also discovered that Phat Lady has an actual flair for air guitar hahahaha.
Are you sitting comfortably? Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was this lovely young girl who liked hanging out with her cousin and his new wife. One day his new wife said to the girl (called CD) "You are in London, do you know my brother? When you go back after this visit make you sure you give him these messages and keep the communication going." So CD called the brother (DH) and they chatted from time to time. One day while visiting her cousin's home again, CD bumped into DH and they were introduced. He was happy to put a name to the face and so was she. Later he told her when they both get back to London they should meet up properly.

And so the story goes that CD met DH for a movie in south London. DH was not as charming or as lively as CD remembered but still had the energy to expertly try and brush his fingers across CD's boobs while watching the movie. Afterwards DH drove CD to the nearest train station and while CD was expecting a kiss goodnight was promptly treated to some unforeseen sweater action (her bra was never the same again).

There then followed after the 'interesting' date, sporadic phone calls from DH late at night where he wanted to come over, always late late at night, always during the week. CD always said no as she thought it was random and her house was full. The phone calls dwindled to nothing, CD chalked it up as experience and only called him months later after some bad men decided to bomb trains and buses in London.

Later CD found out that he had proposed to his girlfriend one month after the 'date', so CD was very happy not have bothered. THE END


Since that day I hadn't seen him or spoken to him till the week I came back from Nigeria. I had some stuff to give him from his family and he came to my house to pick it up. The visit lasted not even an hour. I gave him drinks and nibbles and he made me switch from my Agatha Christie film to the football results. It was all 'wow haven't you changed', 'you are all grown up and cool and calm', whatever! He came and he left.

Move to this Saturday (keep up nearly there) and he is in my house with his wife and toddler to see my cousin's wife that I have told you is kicking the stuffing out of the cancer in her body. The house is full as also in attendance is my Aunty to take over looking after the patient as my cousin (her son) has to go back to Naija for a bit. As we are all chatting this nitwit starts making out like me and him go waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back or something. Anything I say I like he concurs like he has some previous knowledge of my likes and dislikes. All my jokes are suddenly hilarious and he must laugh, shake his head and slap his thighs! One of my favourites is when he says 'Harrow traffic is mad ', how would you know exactly??? This is the second time in your life that you have been here!!!!

The all time winner is when I tried to lean on my cousin's wife lap and we laugh at her cos she scooted over no questions asked, DH's response is "Of course she is scared of you, you are a bully. You are ALWAYS bullying me"......... Hey!! Since when????? Dear blogsville, I swear that I have seen this boy 4 times in my entire life, where would I have bullied him?? He then spun out the Agatha Christie/sports tv thing like it was one big thing that was hilarious!!!!! I was sooooooooooooooooo pissed off!!!

Later when they left, my cousin's wife actually picked up on it and commented!!! She said that during the bullying thing his wife gave him a look! HABA! Why me? Why pull me into all these innuendos. I can't recount everything but with all the over familiarity it looked like we kick it and have some kind of friendship!!!!

Go away insensitive dufus! I don't know if he and the missus are having a row, but she works up north so they don't live together so shouldn't you be making the most of the weekend??? Grrrrr
This is my weekend starting on Friday afternoon!

There was a guy I met during my first week at work. He was doing promotional stuff for the gym where he worked and he tried to give me a flyer and I told him I already belong to the gym. So to cut a four week long story short this our guy (called FF) starts flirting and I thought what the hell, I gave him my number. Cue three weeks of random texting etc. In all fairness I had put him out of mind , so was very surprised when he called and asked me out for lunch...OK so far so normal.

On the day FF calls and says he will be tied up at work so can we meet at 2.30pm (my stomach grumbles but I say yes). 3pm he calls and apologises and asks that we meet in front of Sainsburys. At this time my spidey senses are tingling LOL! Really why a grocery store? So we meet and for sure we enter Sainsburys' and he buys his stuff and buy my lunch and we pay and we leave (excitement levels have dropped at this point).

Here is my reasoning, I could have done this buy myself, where is the va va voom? Sooo in a shopping complex full of eateries we were huddled in the cold wind trying to eat. It was OK for him, he had chicken! I had a salad and the wind kept blowing my food off the fork before I could put it in my mouth! Grrrrrr .

All through this I am valiantly trying to make conversation, I mean wasn't that the whole point to try and talk etc. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't rude but he wasn't there, that's for sure! 30 mins later FF starts wrapping up his rubbish, first he has to get back to work, then it's that he has to catch the bank! Oh please just go! His I'll call you later was totally ignorned by me, I'm not stupid, neither do I enjoy self inflicted torture. HABA!

PS Did I mention he is Nigerian of the Yoruba extraction. I thought my people knew how to show a girl a good time, not even money wise....what about your full attention?
....I finally started putting my words and experiences online, hoping that it would be a form of release at a time when I felt my world was a little out of control, that my emotions were threatening to overwhelm me and there was nowhere to rant and rave to the best of my abilities.

When I came back to London, I started to wonder that maybe I didn't have that much to say anymore and that my need for a blog was suddenly obsolete.

Errrrrr no.

A year on my world is still a little out of control, my emotions are still threatening to overwhelm me and I still need somewhere to rant and rave. A friend of mine has recently stopped blogging as he felt that he had no inspiration and no driving need to communicate, well not me. I feel that now more than ever I need to put all these feelings and events down because with the passage of time, my memory might convince me that things happened differently or not at all. WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!

SO VIVA LA BLOG ( the madness continues).
I only lost a pound..........boooooooooo. Must work harder, like they say in school reports. Well on the slimming club site they said it was a tub of lard off my hips so better than nothing init?!

I have had men on my mind! In a big way! One way or the other that's all I seem to be talking about... where to start? Phew!
I lost 2lbs!!!! I had the weekly weigh in last Monday but forgot to say. I was so relieved but I'm also a bit sceptical. You see I was way beyond bloated last week and now my period is over, maybe all I lost was the water weight? You see....

So the weigh in to watch will be next Monday's one. I'm also back at the gym so that should help. I want this to work so much that I can taste it!

Meanwhile, one of the priests from my university Catholic chaplaincy where I lived in university has given me a friend request on facebook!! Aha!! Really I have read articles about this type of thing but it was students whose lecturers where on facebook. What does one do about a priest?

I mean he was cool and everything but he wasn't our main Chaplin or one of the priests I worked with on special projects so I didn't see this one coming. Well I really shouldn't be perturbed, it's not like there are pictures of me on facebook swinging from a chandelier in a bikini (etc etc)!!!

I will accept the request and foster "priests trying to be cool", but I tell you if I see him at one of my night clubs next week......LOL