.......Also known as things Caramel did to pass the time while under quarantine.

  • Promise God time and time again that I would never take my health for granted again.
  • Stupidly fall asleep.
  • Stand in front of my mirror in my knickers, critically breaking down my body bit by bit and gathering intel on all my best parts to use as weapons of mass destruction later.
  • Get seduced into reading all four Twilight books and hating myself for doing it yet not be able to drop the books because I NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!
  • Decide that Bella is the most annoying lead female character ever.
  • Watch all the tv series I've always wanted to watch but never got around to...Drop Dead Diva (funny and sad at times), The Good Wife (gripping!!!), Cougar Town (too funny and just plain wrong in some places) and finally, Mad Men (just started).
  • Fall asleep some more.
  • Try to convince my relative from Nigeria that me falling ill is not an attack from my Father's's just me falling ill.
  • Decide to screen my calls.
  • Wrongly think my full strength has returned and pay for my folly after trying a house chore like cleaning the bathroom.
  • Gasp in amazement at 6ft 4in sexy Italian electrician as he wanders around my house assessing it for a job and silently cry at my decision to open the door in jogging bottoms and hair net looking like an extra from the Michael Jackson Thriller video.
  • Book 're-entry into the world' appointment at my beauticians!!!
  • Try and see if I can still put my leg around my head.
  • Spend my Amazon birthday voucher of Lord of the Rings soundtrack and special extended DVD collection (hurrah).
  • Memorise 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox and decide I want it played at my funeral.
  • Watch all three LOTR back to back and marvel once again at how much I love those movies.
  • Go online to research volunteering opportunities in visiting terminally ill patients or running chores for them.
  • Hate the look of food but drink numerous cups of tea.
  • Decide I want to go honey brown for my hair.
  • Fall asleep again.
Today is a good day. I'm a little out of sorts but I believe it will be a good day. Why? Because I'm thinking of wearing a bra. On my own steam without harassment, I'm thinking of wearing of wearing a bra. Yup, definitely a good day.

My last of good days were Saturday 4 to Wednesday 8 September. On Saturday my friends and I had gone out for karaoke to celebrate my birthday. It was a perfect night out. We had our own room and a waiter to bring your dinner and drinks. We sang the night away murdering perfectly good classics and modern hits. On Sunday my cousin got tickets to watch the taping of a popular came show called Family Fortunes and as a stroke of good luck we got actual A/B-list British celebrities on the show and had a fantastic time. Tuesday rolled on and as we had a tube strike in London I stayed in the City with my cousins and had a lovely birthday which included birthday cake for breakfast in the office.

While I was staying with them I had been so hot every night and sweating when it was bed time. No one else felt it and we all joked that maybe at 29 I was getting early menopause. It wasn't till Wednesday night that I realised that maybe I was coming down with something.

Thur 9
I woke up hot and riddled with aches and pains. Every time I moved I coughed. Well I called in sick at work and called my friend who lived nearby to help me get some pain killers. The fever got worse and I struggled to go to the pharmacy for cough syrup and a thermometer. My GP had no free appointments so I made one for the next day.

Fri 10
Around 5am I woke up terrified. I couldn't breathe properly. Every breathe was a chore and as I freaked out I made it worse. When I stood up the room swam and I nearly fainted on the stairs. What alarmed me was the fact that my Mum was in America and I was home alone. I took my temperature again and it was 39.4, so I called 999. I won't lie by the time the ambulance came I was in full crying mode. When we got to A&E, they took my BP, took blood and took urine. Asked me a million questions about where I had been and then I had to wait for ages. The doctor then saw me and said I have a nasty chest infection and I had to take some antibiotics and rest. So my friend came to pick me and kept me in her house. Without Panadol I wouldn't have made it through the day. Everything hurt! All my joints and my head and I was always shivering in the grip of fever.

Sat 11
At this point my phone was always ringing. I had both parents calling and I had family who by sheer coincidence were not around calling every second to make sure I was alive. I didn't want to worry my Mum so I kept my conversations brief because if I spoke to her for long I would start crying again. My best friend spent a day and a night but in the end she had to go.

Sun 12 & Mon 13
By now the coughing was vicious, it would come and grip me in a wracking cough and you couldn't stop until you felt you were choking and tears were streaming down your face. The icing on the cake was of course my period started. Oh the joy. You think I would be given a free pass but no I had all the pain of cramps to deal with as well as everything else. Misery was my name. My Aunt came to take me but I just wanted to be in my house and limit my coughing, crying and period pain to one location. Did I mention throwing up? Have you ever thrown up chicken soup through your nose? I wouldn't recommend it. On Monday another friend came and did some shopping for me. God bless her.

Tue 14
From America my Mum had got her friend to check my hospital records. My infection marker was 84 (a normal adult should be under 5) and she told me to go back to the GP. I told my GP I wasn't getting better and he was baffled why I never had an x-ray the day I went to A&E. So he sent me back to the hospital.

Wed 15
My Mum flew in that morning and drove me to the hospital for my x-ray. I told her to go as she had work that night and went off for my x-ray. After the x-ray was done, I hadn't even put on all my clothes when the radiographer came running into my cubicle, "You need to get dressed and go to your GP now. You have pneumonia in your right lung and it's spreading." I'll never forget that look on her face. It was like she was thinking how on earth is this girl still walking around? As it was Wednesday my GP was closed to off I went to A&E again. They couldn't admit me as the hospital was full so they released me in the care of my Mum and some seriously lethal looking antibiotics. I'd rather be in my house anyway!

Thursday 16 to now
So here I am under house arrest, I'm not allowed to leave as my immune system is low and I can catch anything off anybody and that will put me back in hospital. Once I started the right medication, I could feel a difference. I'm as weak as a baby (it took 4 hrs to type this post!!!) but I no longer feel subhuman. The biggest problem is still my chest and the coughing and the medication has a few side effects but I don't care! I'm off work for a while and I'm trying to get better so I don't run nuts in the house. I have been in a uniform of hairnet and kaftan all this while but today I thought about my bra for the first time. So today is a good day.
How is everyone doing? I miss you all like I miss white bread and saturated fats. I haven't been writing on my beautiful blog. My apologies! I promise fresh gist will be coming soon but till then a little laughter for the weekend xx

PS My birthday is next week and I came across this site that tells you what song was number one the day you were born. Mine is Tainted Love (hmphhh), why couldn't I have The Bangles or Madonna or something? :) Check it out and tell me what was yours. xxxx

A married couple in their early 60's were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen MaryII appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband became 92 yearsold.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember.....fairies are female.