Yesterday (before wardrobe debacle) I decided to celebrate my last days of unemployment and go to the pictures to see Iron Man. It wasn't overly fantastic but it was alright for a few laughs and some explosions (which always make me feel better).

What held it together though, was Robert Downey Jr's charm. Yes he has issues, is a bad boy, has seen more rehabs than I have had weaves but, he does have an effect on me and I loved him in his stint in Ally McBeal back in the day!

It got me thinking though about white men that we seriously think about it!

This is not validation for some of my family and friends who think I'm going to marry a white man and give my dad a heart attack! Even though you know they would be better at washing up and helping with kids than our Naija brothers and wouldn't demand pounded yam at 11pm at night, but instead be ecstatic with fried plantain every Saturday morning..... This is movie stars only LOL.

So apart from Robert Downey Junior, Eric Dane floats my boat too yummy!!! Grey's Anatomy brought him back to the people and the people are happy! I don't get the whole George Clooney think though. I mean he is alright but not sure about the worldwide hysteria.

I didn't get the Brad Pitt thing for ages, then I watched Legends of the Fall! I think he does intensity the whole looking into your eyes thing with smouldering eyes really well. That's why even though Meet Joe Black was nearly three hours long, the women loved it!
Always and forever though for me is Mr. Johnny Depp. He is the epitome of cool and doesn't do the whole Hollywood nuttiness, I love it! He is also the king of kooky, the weirder the better and he brings his characters to life so well that you forget that you are watching an actor and get sucked in to the whole thing.
When he played Roux in Chocolat, the screen nearly melted off the TV. I'm not lying you have to watch the film and read the book too, to see how well he was casted. Aaaah perfection.
Yes I watched the match and yes quite frankly it was gripping. Chelsea and Manchester United where not giving an inch and it was nail biting to the end but if you want a blow by blow analysis of the Champions League final, go to another blog! Happily though my household is Man Utd all the way! LOL

I'm a bit narky because it's my cousin's wedding on Saturday so I went to bring out a traditional outfit I was going to wear and IT WAS TOO TIGHT!


That night is also my friend's African themed gala (hence looking for trad) but I'm not going down that road thank you very much. Exit lace, enter normal dress! I last wore the blasted outfit for my graduation in November 2006 and look what I have done to my hips in under two years. It is those damn hips, dynamite wouldn't blast them. If what they say about child bearing hips are true then my baby will be out in about 4seconds :)
Okay for some research I was looking at my really old posts to see what I wrote about NYSC, and I came across what I wrote about ex-hottie in my first ever post.....
OH LORD, how totally sad am I??? I can't believe I wrote that crap! OK don't get me wrong, I was being honest, but please "the power to make my insides curl and heat reach my toes".........

I should be sent to some kind of blogger detention for crimes against cheesiness LOL!! There is a reason why this blog is anonymous ( and for the three people that know it's me, it's too late to stop being my friend now).

Also he has started calling me 'Sis', can you imagine? Who is your sister? From where? If he calls me that again, I'm going to pull him to one corner and explain some simple biology topics to him, MCHEW!

By the way, did anybody know that the slang phat meant: Pretty Hot And Tempting? I DIDN'T!!! What's worse I have to gather this piece of information from a 2000 Sidney Sheldon novel no less?? Wow! I'm seriously retro LOL.

I can't sleep because of cramps and I'm worried about my sister in law who is sick. So I'm going to stay up and type nonsense till the four hour mark has reached and I can get more pain killers.

I think I'm going on a date on Wednesday. I say think because I might yet give in to good sense and cancel. The man is decent and doesn't have horns and a tail but I'm not tripped. Maybe that's better anyway as when I am tripped nothing good happens (reference past two years). We will see how it goes.

Please pray for my sister in law. Time for pills.
I got the job!!!! Yipeeeeee !!!! Hurray!!!!! Conga line across the world!!!! Mexican wave!!!!!

Let me start from the beginning!!

I got there 20 minutes early and was sooo nervous. My heart was pounding and I felt so sick. Every time I found a way to calm down, I would remember that I was here for my only interview to date and I'd want to puke up! I had time to salvage my hair in the bathroom and i said to myself, "what would other people do?"......

Parents - Pray
Phoenix - Apply loads of lip gloss
D-Girl - Go over her material
Phat Girl - Nothing, because she knows she is fabulous

I therefore did all of the above and went back into the waiting room. So the first thing was to write a press release and I had thirty minutes. That was OK, once I got my hands to stop trembling, knew all the rules and even had time to go online and get a logo and put it on the document.

After that I was lead up two floors to the interview room, now I know you are meant to shake hands but they were around an awkward table and there was a flipping projector blocking me. Now talking about the Projector, my stupid PowerPoint didn't open because I did it on Vista !!!! Luckily I had printed coloured slides and they were like "good thinking!" Aah my coloured ink finished for a noble cause.

The questions were a lot!!! My throat was soo dry after I finished answering. I kept trying to sit up straight, and watch my body language and not waffle !!! Aahh I was so tired afterwards, it was sheer will they kept me on my feet back home when I was done.

Now they had told me they would get back to everyone by the next morning, but they called me that evening.


I'm not sure when I start but I have to do a criminal check as I am working with under 18's but I will keep you posted!!
It's tomorrow, it's tomorrow!!!!! Pray for me please........

PS The newest machine in gym hell is the stepper! It's nasty.
Well after some days ruminating (is that the correct spelling?), I got a few ideas rolling and I'm currently trying to finish up the presentation and email it to my friend so he can have a look. Feeling a bit cooped up I decided to go to the gym yesterday with D-Girl as we both need to shape up our summer bodies LOL.....

The next morning I am still in pain.

Who died and made me Jane Fonda? After some time on the cross trainer we joined a body pump class, where you stand in front of the instructor with a bar and different weights you can attach to it to work on all your muscle groups.
I had done it before but had forgotten how I normally distribute my weights, so by the time we were on the floor doing chest lifts I was crying out to Jesus.

Well today is spinning and if that doesn't kill me then nothing will. Trust me though I will not chicken out after paying hefty gym joining fee with money I don't have. For the record I still hurt as I type ;)
I have an interview on Thursday. It is the first one I have been called to in all the stupid application forms I have been filling. As part of the interview I have been told to come up with a 10 minute presentation about how to promote a new diploma that the college is running. Now see, it's like I have writer's block. I have been thinking and thinking and all I have been coming up with has been lack lustre. It has no kick, no pep.........

Another scary thing is that I will be given a 30 minute task, but I don't know what it will entail so that is giving me nightmares too. Talking about nightmares, when I go to sleep I have such bizarre dreams that I wake up totally exhausted!!! I am going KOLO!! And it's like I feel I have no one to talk to because it all sounds slightly stupid.

Hence me blogging twice in one day (sad cow that I am). I always there to give advice and help when asked but when it comes to my turn I just feel like everyone has there own drama, why add my own to it.

I'm going to go back to the college website to see if i can get inspired by what they do. I have a headache.
It was Wednesday night and I was seriously engrossed with watching The Apprentice as it had been a particularly bad episode and everyone on the losing team were getting shredded by Sir Alan.

Suddenly around 9.45 pm there was sudden BANG and then shudders and tremblings. My sitting room was jarred with our pictures jangling from side to side. I shouted to my Mum to see if she OK because it felt like something had fallen on my building and she was upstairs. See me sprinting up our stairs (never seen a fat girl run so fast) to find my Mum going "what was that? I was lifted off my bed and back again."

I went unto our balcony and looked out to see everyone in the three blocks that make up my avenue either coming out of their building or looking off their balcony. No one knew what was going on and were milling around trying to figure out where the blast had come from. Then (God bless 999) the sirens came. First the police, then ambulance, then absolute hoards of fire engines. To my dawning comprehension I realised that they were parking not too far from us, across the other side of our main road.

Finally I told my Mum that I'm going down to see what's going on and she said she would join me. When we got down to our main road, they had cordoned off everywhere and sent the traffic back up the road and the buses had to discharge the poor people they had on board to continue on foot. That's when we found out that there had been a gas explosion across the road and no one knew any of the details.

I had to wait till 11pm for the news channels to carry the news and give us details. So between 11pm and 12am I found out that two houses had been totalled, three people had been pulled out alive and that it was a gas explosion. Later unfortunately one man died and yesterday they said that IT WAS NO LONGER BELIEVED TO BE AN ACCIDENT !!!

So now we are waiting to hear what they are going to find out. Yesterday I walked past the bomb site and saw the surrounding damages to nearby offices as well. I kept thinking that that could have been me, he was my age and living down the road and now POOF!, his life is over. Now though, it is no longer a simple gas explosion so what's going on?

Well we shall pray for the dead man and his family, the injured people and the poor street residents who are not allowed back in their homes for now.
My mother is driving me crazy..... absolutely up the proverbial wall. I'm already stressed with my life at the moment and I really do not need her adding to my issues. This is the reason why people MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOMES!!

I'm stressed, preparing for a big interview, still applying for other positions, trying to balance out ever dwindling funds and having the whole "am I where I'm meant to be thoughts", only to now have her chewing my head saying "do something about your weight, I can't stand looking at you".


Well, I will try my best to remedy that situation. I will be out of the house and out of her way for as long as humanly possible. I am in such a narky mood!! I want to break something or scream or do something!!!

I wish everyone would just leave me alone and let me be. Quite frankly I don't care right now if the fact that I'm a size 16/18 causes her sleepless nights. Let me step out of the house and get pregnant, them we will have something to talk about!!!!! Why stop there? How about tattoos all over my body Prison Break style, or a STD or two????

I don't need this right now.
I'm a naughty blogger. Haven't written in ages. I was thinking about this lately and I said maybe it's because nothing much has been happening. That's not completely true though. Things happen, if they didn't I would be dead or in a coma or something right?