There is a saying related to the bible story of the angels that visited Abraham and Sarah. I can't remember the exact words but it is something like care for all your visitors as you don't know which one might be an angel.

Well, as a Naija person I think that the saying was meant to pacify us because we always have people in our house. All the time! I know it's not just me. My friend used to call my house Heathrow Airport because of all the people that passed through it. Truly nasty ones included an uncle who would leave his facial hair over every damn surface in the bathroom every morning, the female relative who was so tight she wouldn't buy sanitary towels and would instead use our kitchen/toilet roll and the cousin who downloaded porn on my computer and infected my system with nasty viruses.

So you can imagine my unrivaled joy when I got visitors that I have been waiting for over a year for. Having Freaksho and Sirius in my house was a pure joy. I would come back from work all grumpy and moody and jump into the bed where Sirius would be on the iPad looking for which store she is going to obliterate next and Freaksho would be on my computer playing one of the gizzilion games he bought.

I was worried that with five adults in the house that we would step on each others toes. Ha! My Dad complained that he didn't see them enough and my Mum fussed over what to cook Freaksho! Can you imagine? I had to pick my mouth off the floor.

I haven't told them this but the best bit was watching a young couple in action. Seeing the mini spats that would quickly blow over, watching Sirius running around in her nightie and boots (??!!) because her husband was hungry and seeing them chill at the dining table, heads together, but hands on some gadget (Lord have mercy, wires everywhere) :)

From my point of view, it was nice to have my Lagos life in London. Of course I have put on extra weight thanks to holiday chopping! It's like I've had Christmas early. I am now also an iChild and the proud owner of an iPod Touch, which means I have music AND my books at my finger tips. I don't know which one excites me more.

I think the visit was well timed though, it brought fun back into my life. I've been so serious and grey for so long. I don't know where the smiling easy going girl has gone. I think adult life is suppressing her. So I have decided to conquer all the goals and wacky things I have always wanted to do but seem to put off. I am going to have a 30 things to do before I'm 30 list. As you can see I only have twenty so your help will be much appreciated in completing the list. I will write about each thing when I do it and hopefully we will have a full tick list by September next year.

List so far .............

1) Go to each part of the British Isles (1/3 done)

2) Get my driving licence

3) Take part in and extreme sport or activity (Planned)

4) Chat up a man that I fancy

5) Get a colonic irrigation

6) Lose the last 10kg

7) Go to the Mediterranean

8) Go camping

9) Get myself on national/London radio or TV.

10) Eat at a Michelin Starred restaurant

11) Go to a live sporting event or concert of a legend. (Planned)

12) Ride a camel

13) Run 5k for charity

14) Crash a party (Done !!!)

15) Go to the races

16) Stay in bed for 20 hours in one day without being sick.

17) Wear traditional to work.

18. Go to the Caribbean

19) Go on pilgramage or retreat

20) Go to a performance of Agatha Christie's 'Mousetrap'.

21) Bake a giant Jaffa Cake (suggested by GNG)

22) Plant a tree (suggested by LusciousRon)

23) Get a bikini wax

24) Drink tequila

25) Sunbathe topless

For added laughter, check out another favourite, it will change the way you listen to pop music.

I have seen my Dad go to bed perfectly fine and wake up the next morning with whip marks across his back. I have also seen his perfectly conditioned car try and steer itself and my Dad into a ditch. I have watched as frustrated men who unfortunately share his blood, walk up to him and ask him in baffled tones, "Why won't you die? What type of medicine do you use to protect yourself from us?"

Because of this experience, you will never hear me dismiss similar stories out of hand. What I do believe is that my faith in the One True Power eliminates any fear I would have in such things.

What I will not stand for is the way that some Nigerians will blame every single misfortune on a spiritual attack. Even something basically not going the way you planned, is the work of your 'enemies'!! Na by force? Must only good things happen to you? Where do you think you are? The Garden of Eden?

No promotion = Spiritual attack
No children = Spiritual attack
No money = Spiritual attack


Not a big enough office = Spiritual attack
No male children = Spiritual attack
Not 'enough' money = Spiritual attack

Give me a break! Life is not a supermarket, where you browse and pick as you choose. First of all make sure that you are walking in the way of God and His plans for you. The arrogance of it really upsets me!

OK, why am I ranting?

I just heard that my Dad's half sister has been calling family members to tell them to pray for me and her 40ish year old sister as the reason we are not married is because of spiritual attack! See me see trouble? Honestly, I nearly hit the roof when I heard this!
How dare she?
Who is she?
I don't even talk to her that often! Who made you my spokesperson? So not being married at 29 is because of a spiritual attack? Someone tell me why I shouldn't call her right now and tell her where she can put her spiritual attack, foolish woman.

The irony of it is that my Grandfather's Palace is now home to so many of his daughters who got married to nutters and have now left said husbands and run home, including her own sister. Her own marriage was no shining example of love either, so why is it eating you?

Also from a purely vain angle, why am I in the same category as a woman in her late 40s?
In fact let me stop here because I could go on and on. Let me hold myself, African children don't cuss elders but I will let her know in no uncertain terms that she is not allowed to mention my name again in any phone call.

OK I know I'm being stupid, but you don't understand how my Dad's family works. It's like having a homemade network. Their are businesses that don't have as many people working there as I have family members. Gossip is the petrol that runs that engine and I'm not about to be part of it!

Well I have to go now and slit my wrists because I'm not yet married. FOOLISH AND INGREDIENTS! MSSCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!

........she dreamt of being a glamourous grown up.

Foolish girl.

Why is it that growing up was high on many children's wishlist? If you had a relatively happy childhood then you had it good! This grown up moves are hard work oh!

So I've been back at work for two weeks. The first week was a minor train wreck. We had two major exhibitions going on and my manager had left a few things to the last minute because she was swamped so I came back and jumped in right at the deep end, helping her tie things together. Result? I felt and looked like I had had a relapse.

So I was frogged marched to occupational health where they told me to leave work everyday by 3pm everyday, ha!! Talk about a double edged sword. On one hand it's good, you get to rest. On the other hand not good, because your desk is groaning under the work that is waiting for you.

My second week, had my Dad arriving from Nigeria which is great. He can keep my Mum company as she recovers from her knee operation. But at work they announced redundancies. 20 people have lost their jobs and they will be doing this all over again next year. Honestly I don't think I will be safe next year at all. So in my building you have an air of gloom tinged with fear and anger. It is a feeling that they are experiencing all over Britain at the moment as our government just announced 490 000 job cuts in the public sector! God have mercy!

Let's just say it has been rough being an adult this week. I'm not as good under pressure as I thought I was. Ha! We got the redundancy email on Friday and had to wait till Monday to find out if we still had our jobs. Chai! My weave got grey strands in it.

Anyway I'm trying to suck it up and think about what my options are and pray so that I'm not making decisions that are not Spirit inspired. Apart from that, the show most go on. I can't tweet and stalk you all online as much as I used to, but I will try. Reading blogs is such a joy, I don't want to stop that jo! PS I am seriously trying to clean out my love life. I think that is worth a post, yes?
My Mum has an operation later today on her knee and I can't be at the hospital with her because I will be at work trying like crazy to come up with ideas and prepare paperwork that will enable our managers to fight for the existence of our jobs and the department.

Add to that that I have the worst period ever due to lack of any exercise this past month while I was sick and I'm meant to be asleep to be able to face tomorrow and instead here I am awake and the pills and the hot water bottle is just not cutting it at the moment.

How will I be able to do spreadsheets and come up with great strategies tomorrow when I will be using all my energy to sit up straight and not double over from pain and exhaustion and worry about my Mum?

OK suck it up. Please someone tell my womb to allow me sleep.
.......Also known as things Caramel did to pass the time while under quarantine.

  • Promise God time and time again that I would never take my health for granted again.
  • Stupidly fall asleep.
  • Stand in front of my mirror in my knickers, critically breaking down my body bit by bit and gathering intel on all my best parts to use as weapons of mass destruction later.
  • Get seduced into reading all four Twilight books and hating myself for doing it yet not be able to drop the books because I NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!
  • Decide that Bella is the most annoying lead female character ever.
  • Watch all the tv series I've always wanted to watch but never got around to...Drop Dead Diva (funny and sad at times), The Good Wife (gripping!!!), Cougar Town (too funny and just plain wrong in some places) and finally, Mad Men (just started).
  • Fall asleep some more.
  • Try to convince my relative from Nigeria that me falling ill is not an attack from my Father's's just me falling ill.
  • Decide to screen my calls.
  • Wrongly think my full strength has returned and pay for my folly after trying a house chore like cleaning the bathroom.
  • Gasp in amazement at 6ft 4in sexy Italian electrician as he wanders around my house assessing it for a job and silently cry at my decision to open the door in jogging bottoms and hair net looking like an extra from the Michael Jackson Thriller video.
  • Book 're-entry into the world' appointment at my beauticians!!!
  • Try and see if I can still put my leg around my head.
  • Spend my Amazon birthday voucher of Lord of the Rings soundtrack and special extended DVD collection (hurrah).
  • Memorise 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox and decide I want it played at my funeral.
  • Watch all three LOTR back to back and marvel once again at how much I love those movies.
  • Go online to research volunteering opportunities in visiting terminally ill patients or running chores for them.
  • Hate the look of food but drink numerous cups of tea.
  • Decide I want to go honey brown for my hair.
  • Fall asleep again.
Today is a good day. I'm a little out of sorts but I believe it will be a good day. Why? Because I'm thinking of wearing a bra. On my own steam without harassment, I'm thinking of wearing of wearing a bra. Yup, definitely a good day.

My last of good days were Saturday 4 to Wednesday 8 September. On Saturday my friends and I had gone out for karaoke to celebrate my birthday. It was a perfect night out. We had our own room and a waiter to bring your dinner and drinks. We sang the night away murdering perfectly good classics and modern hits. On Sunday my cousin got tickets to watch the taping of a popular came show called Family Fortunes and as a stroke of good luck we got actual A/B-list British celebrities on the show and had a fantastic time. Tuesday rolled on and as we had a tube strike in London I stayed in the City with my cousins and had a lovely birthday which included birthday cake for breakfast in the office.

While I was staying with them I had been so hot every night and sweating when it was bed time. No one else felt it and we all joked that maybe at 29 I was getting early menopause. It wasn't till Wednesday night that I realised that maybe I was coming down with something.

Thur 9
I woke up hot and riddled with aches and pains. Every time I moved I coughed. Well I called in sick at work and called my friend who lived nearby to help me get some pain killers. The fever got worse and I struggled to go to the pharmacy for cough syrup and a thermometer. My GP had no free appointments so I made one for the next day.

Fri 10
Around 5am I woke up terrified. I couldn't breathe properly. Every breathe was a chore and as I freaked out I made it worse. When I stood up the room swam and I nearly fainted on the stairs. What alarmed me was the fact that my Mum was in America and I was home alone. I took my temperature again and it was 39.4, so I called 999. I won't lie by the time the ambulance came I was in full crying mode. When we got to A&E, they took my BP, took blood and took urine. Asked me a million questions about where I had been and then I had to wait for ages. The doctor then saw me and said I have a nasty chest infection and I had to take some antibiotics and rest. So my friend came to pick me and kept me in her house. Without Panadol I wouldn't have made it through the day. Everything hurt! All my joints and my head and I was always shivering in the grip of fever.

Sat 11
At this point my phone was always ringing. I had both parents calling and I had family who by sheer coincidence were not around calling every second to make sure I was alive. I didn't want to worry my Mum so I kept my conversations brief because if I spoke to her for long I would start crying again. My best friend spent a day and a night but in the end she had to go.

Sun 12 & Mon 13
By now the coughing was vicious, it would come and grip me in a wracking cough and you couldn't stop until you felt you were choking and tears were streaming down your face. The icing on the cake was of course my period started. Oh the joy. You think I would be given a free pass but no I had all the pain of cramps to deal with as well as everything else. Misery was my name. My Aunt came to take me but I just wanted to be in my house and limit my coughing, crying and period pain to one location. Did I mention throwing up? Have you ever thrown up chicken soup through your nose? I wouldn't recommend it. On Monday another friend came and did some shopping for me. God bless her.

Tue 14
From America my Mum had got her friend to check my hospital records. My infection marker was 84 (a normal adult should be under 5) and she told me to go back to the GP. I told my GP I wasn't getting better and he was baffled why I never had an x-ray the day I went to A&E. So he sent me back to the hospital.

Wed 15
My Mum flew in that morning and drove me to the hospital for my x-ray. I told her to go as she had work that night and went off for my x-ray. After the x-ray was done, I hadn't even put on all my clothes when the radiographer came running into my cubicle, "You need to get dressed and go to your GP now. You have pneumonia in your right lung and it's spreading." I'll never forget that look on her face. It was like she was thinking how on earth is this girl still walking around? As it was Wednesday my GP was closed to off I went to A&E again. They couldn't admit me as the hospital was full so they released me in the care of my Mum and some seriously lethal looking antibiotics. I'd rather be in my house anyway!

Thursday 16 to now
So here I am under house arrest, I'm not allowed to leave as my immune system is low and I can catch anything off anybody and that will put me back in hospital. Once I started the right medication, I could feel a difference. I'm as weak as a baby (it took 4 hrs to type this post!!!) but I no longer feel subhuman. The biggest problem is still my chest and the coughing and the medication has a few side effects but I don't care! I'm off work for a while and I'm trying to get better so I don't run nuts in the house. I have been in a uniform of hairnet and kaftan all this while but today I thought about my bra for the first time. So today is a good day.
How is everyone doing? I miss you all like I miss white bread and saturated fats. I haven't been writing on my beautiful blog. My apologies! I promise fresh gist will be coming soon but till then a little laughter for the weekend xx

PS My birthday is next week and I came across this site that tells you what song was number one the day you were born. Mine is Tainted Love (hmphhh), why couldn't I have The Bangles or Madonna or something? :) Check it out and tell me what was yours. xxxx

A married couple in their early 60's were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen MaryII appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!..the husband became 92 yearsold.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember.....fairies are female.
Time: 6 something am
Place: Caramel's bedroom

Anyone who has a parent that is medical personnel knows what it is like to be woken up and given instructions for the day before said parent goes to work, while they are still half asleep and woe betide you if you forget the barrage of instructions that flow through your duvet/blanket/wrapper to your ears.

This morning my Mum came to pick a fight. First of all it was to say that I had left a couple of dishes in the sink. I replied that I had forgotten them due to being sleepy as I had stayed up past midnight to do her laundry.

Second conversation went like this:

M: Are you going to the gym today
C: No I spent two hours there last night, I go on alternate days.
M: Don't they advice an hour every day?
C: Yes but they say an hour light exercise everyday, I did more than that yesterday!
M: That's not what my magazine says!
C: Mum please leave me, I'm begging!

This is where the anger came! My Mum and her blasted bloody stupid women's magazines. One is Take a Break and the other one is Women's Own. She loves those magazines die. Everything there is gospel. Aaaaaaaaaaarggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

My Mum and I have one serious beef and that is my weight. Nothing more, nothing less. She used to nag that I am not doing anything about it. That who knows if it is my Father's enemies using me against them (I kid you not), that at this rate I will die single as men don't like fat women and that it was bad for my health.

So you would think that losing and keeping off weight for the first time in my adult life would be a cause for celebration right? Is she happy that I have dropped three dress sizes? No! The issue now is that I am not losing it fast enough! She actually bristles when people congratulate me on my weight loss (haba)!!!

Jesus give me strength! We had a massive row a while back when I told her to stop cutting out true life stories from her bloody Take a Break about how 'Steve from Manchester' and 'Tiffany from Essex' lost half their body weight and saved themselves from an early death and leaving it in my bedroom. That every body's weight loss journey is different and I don't want to hear anymore true life crap!

The funny thing is I hate exercising and I was so happy with myself yesterday that I had carried my body in period hell and crawled to the gym and did not only do a circuit class but Hatha yoga as well and I was feeling really good and she has just deflated me. She knows which buttons to push and it really gets me pissed.

All through today, I will forget then remember then be in a bad mood again. She should just wait, shebi we are going to Atlanta to see her own Mother? May God keep her and bless her. For as long as she is on this planet I can report my own Mother to a higher power!! I am happy that my Mum will be in America longer than me, I need breathing space jo!

I know she is doing it out of concern but the way she is going on you would think that I can't move out of my bed, like the people on all those documentaries that a crane has to lift them from their bed! It is better for me and my sanity if she said nothing at all!!! Today all I have felt is paranoid and ugly.

The fact that I love her more than life itself is the only reason I didn't go all Xena Warrior Princess in that house this morning!! Mschhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

For the record any stupid Take a Break magazine I see in that house this evening will find itself in the recycling bin sharp sharp! OK I will stop ranting!

PS For anyone who read my former post have you tried naked dancing yet?

I have so many things buzzing in my head and I keep deleting what I'm writing.

First of all stop hating parts of your body. Recognise it for what it is, a beautiful vessel for your soul. Walk around naked! It is good for you. Very liberating. Go on try it! Go onnnn. Tell me something you like about your body in the comment box. I will try not to see crooked teeth, jelly belly and a bum that needs its own passport but ermm great boobs, lovely skin and a fabulous waistline.

I'm off to Atlanta for a week next weekend but it wasn't planned so I'll be leaving as the rest of my family will be coming so I have to find some fun on my own. If anyone has some hot spots they think I should check out please let me know.

My cousin is trying to hook me up with her inlaw but I'm not interested and I'm not bothered. I am trying to be polite and he is a cool guy but I feel bad when he calls from Naija because I know those calls are expensive. In fact not to be overly dramatic but the whole man thing just tires me at the moment. I really don't give a rat's arse right now. He has just asked if I had a boyfriend but I dodged. If he asks again I will use it as an oportunity to tell him what's up. I believe in being honest. It's not nice when someone is stringing you along.

OK I'm going to stop writing for now because I am in a bad mood and I'm trying to shake it but it's not working. The Mary J Blige track below is here because I think it's a great track for naked dancing. Enjoy ;)

I read this online and had to share, I'm sure it happens worldwide, not just in Britain......

A life of booze, fags and slothfulness may be enough to earn your doctor's disapproval, but there is one last hope: a repeat prescription of mates and good conversation.
A circle of close friends and strong family ties can boost a person's health more than exercise, losing weight or quitting cigarettes and alcohol, psychologists say.

Sociable people seem to reap extra rewards from their relationships by feeling less stressed, taking better care of themselves and having less risky lifestyles than those who are more isolated, they claim.
A review of studies into the impact of relationships on health found that people had a 50% better survival rate if they belonged to a wider social group, be it friends, neighbours, relatives or a mix of these.

The striking impact of social connections on wellbeing has led researchers to call on GPs and health officials to take loneliness as seriously as other health risks, such as alcoholism and smoking.
"We take relationships for granted as humans," said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist at Brigham Young University in Utah. "That constant interaction is not only beneficial psychologically but directly to our physical health."

Holt-Lunstad's team reviewed 148 studies that tracked the social interactions and health of 308,849 people over an average of 7.5 years. From these they worked out how death rates varied depending on how sociable a person was.
Being lonely and isolated was as bad for a person's health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic. It was as harmful as not exercising and twice as bad for the health as being obese. The study is reported in the journal Plos Medicine.

Holt-Lunstad said friends and family can improve health in numerous ways, from help in tough times to finding meaning in life. "When someone is connected to a group and feels responsibility to other people, that sense of purpose and meaning translates to taking better care of themselves and taking fewer risks."

Holt-Lunstad said there was no clear figure on how many relationships are enough to boost a person's health, but people fared better when they rarely felt lonely and were close to a group of friends, had good family contact and had someone they could rely on and confide in.
Writing in the journal, the authors point out that doctors, health educators and the media take the dangers of smoking, diet and exercise seriously, and urge them to add social relationships to the list.

A report by the Mental Health Foundation in May blamed technology and the pressures of modern life for widespread feelings of loneliness in all age groups across Britain. The survey of more than 2,200 adults found one in 10 people often felt lonely and one in three would like to move closer to their family.

Andrew McCulloch, of the Mental Health Foundation, said the latest study builds on work that links isolation to poor mental and physical health. "Trends such as increasing numbers of people living alone and the advent of new technologies, are changing the way in which we interact and are leading both the young and old to experience loneliness. It is important that individuals and policy-makers take notice of emerging evidence and of the potential health problems associated with loneliness." © Taken from the Guardian Newspaper
Three years of ranting and sometimes talking sense. Loved it. Loving it. Love it.
It was headache over a man and adventures in Lagos that made me start but I'm sure glad I did.
I love my blog.

Do you like my photoshopped picture? It was sent by a friend to cheer me up when I was under the weather. I laughed eh! Madness! My Mum was rolling on the floor. The picture though does remind me of my own notorious three year old story that my Mum's family won't EVER let me forget......

So as the story goes, three year old me had gone to a family member's traditional wedding in my Mum's home town with the Parentals. So my Mum thought she was doing a good thing by handing me over to her younger brother to keep an eye on me.
For some yet to be explained reason, my Uncle now thought that it would be 'healthy' for me to have some of his Guinness as it would help my digestive system and boost my immune system as well. That is how they gave my Guinness oh!
Yup I got drunk.
So by the time the wedding was winding down, I climbed unto the Chairman's table, took the microphone and said (in no apparent order and repeatedly);
"You Baskards! Go to your own house and I will go to my own"
"Stop eating my Aunty's food"
"I said go your own way jo"
"You are all Baskards"
My Mum said she wanted the ground to open up and take her there and then! She died five hundred times. She said she ran sharply in her wrapper and koi koi shoes and swiped me off the high table and out of the compound. Then I told her, "Mummy my head is turning" and promptly fell asleep! My Uncle didn't come near my house for a while after that ;)
PS That was my one degenerate incident till I pooed in my pants in kindergarten.
PPS I want to thank all my blog readers and commentators. You are the buttercream icing on my caramel sponge cake!
Just in case you all don't know what I'm talking about, two of our very own got married quite recently and Blogsville has been full of puns like:
Siriusly Freaky
Freakishly Sirius ( my favourite).

Freaksho married ~Sirius~ and it was beautiful.

Now every good story needs to start at the beginning but ermm quite frankly they might kill me. So I will skip a few details (but shah check on me in a week's time to make sure I'm still breathing). So Sirius came into my life when I was 14(ish) and I was later blessed to be able to have her as my landlady while I served in NYSC. That was when she met her future hubby (ohhhh hehehehe).

Now let's get this straight, the girl is one of the most beautiful people you could ever meet both inside and out, so of course there were some young gentlemen hanging around but my money has always been on Freaksho and see I backed the winner :) When the time was right and he proposed and she said yes, there was plenty of screaming and clapping (and that was just me) and so I settled down for some serious wedding planning.

That's when the emails and IM's started.

S: Caramel, I don't want a bridal train or anything like that.
C: Yup that's cool, nice and simple.

S: Caramel, I think we might be getting married in the middle of the week.
C: Huh?

S: Caramel I want a small wedding, 100 people max.
C: Are you crazy? In Lagos? Never!

But here is the topic that actually raised my BP and it wasn't even from the bride....

F: I'm not wearing a tie and I'm not wearing any flowers in my button hole. (Something something about it not being manly, I can't recall because at this point I was feeling faint)
C: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? What do you mean no tie? You're the groom!!!!

Now, anyone that reads this blog regularly knows that in the past two years I have been in a wedding/bridesmaid explosion and I have suffered for it. You can get a bit fed up with the pomp and circumstance of it all but come on! I had to protest!

Yet these two were serious and this is why they suit! Sirius is so laid back she is nearly horizontal. She doesn't let things agitate her normally and she definitely avoids drama. Freaksho is such a geek, he is weird to the point of cool. These two do not do convention. In fact as I'm typing this I wonder why I was actually surprised.

So they planned and they stuck to their guns which is no easy feat when your parentals are on your case and EVERYONE has an opinion. I flew home to see two people I care about get hitched, as long as it wasn't on a rope bridge over a snake pit I was ready for the ride.

And it was beautiful.

Apart from the beginning where Freaksho looked stressed because we were only 9 minutes late (Dude, most brides average being an hour late), there wasn't a frowning face the whole day. Everyone knew someone, no one was lost in a crowd, and all eyes were on the couple who spent the whole day grinning.

I didn't miss the high table, I didn't miss the hall decorations, band, DJ, MC and over inflated ego boosting that happens at Naija weddings. Instead we had a room full of people overlooking a peaceful view of Lagos, with kick ass food, who were free to walk around and chat and kiss the bride and shake the groom's hand.

They actually pulled it off! In Lagos!

Freaksho did wear the red rose flower buttonhole though, thank God ;)

A note about meeting fellow Bloggers.

They never look like what you think they will.
Incoherent is a sparkling fizzing ball of energy with big brown Bambi eyes and eloquent hands.
Muse looks like what I think Igbo warriors of old would like back in the day. All brawn and such. I thought men who write such great poetry would be tortured souls that exist on air and coffee!
Rita does not look like her picture! I'm sorry Rita it is true. Take the picture down. You are getting younger not older (who did you bribe up there for such good fortune with your face??)
Finally I think I scared Laide (XSN) because I swooped on her like a crazed fan and forgot she hadn't actually met me before. Sorry Laide!

To Freaksho and ~Sirius~, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I know great things are going to come from your union. I feel it and I know it and I can't wait to see it.

Love always x


Update y'all!

I have been granted permission to clear up small confusion that came via my inbox ; (holla!!).

Freaksho and ~Sirius~ didn't meet on Blogger. Oya lemme gist you small.
While she was waiting for her call up letter for NYSC, Sirius was working at a very sexy magazine and Freaksho was at an advertising firm (oh full of fine dangerous men LMAO). See eh when I leave for work to go to my asset management office and Sirius leaves to go to her magazine, what we are wearing is completely different. I would mostly be conservative and classy. Sirius would be classy and sizzling hot!!!!! She put the 'P' in pencil skirt!

So I don't know what she did to Freaksho when she walked into his office to collect artwork for his company's ad in her magazine but I can hazard a guess! LMAO!!!!!!! For real though the guy had to work hard. Sirius doesn't send.

Case in point. Their first 'date'. I think that Freaksho had asked for a double date movie thing so that there would be no pressure. So far so good right? Well my girl brought me and another friend and we arrived about 50 minutes late. We missed the original movie and got stuck with Rush Hour 8 or something and Freaksho hated the movie choice (he still won't forgive me for picking it). So instead of a cosy foursome, it was five people watching a 'bad' movie, then Sirius makes sure that she wasn't even near him and spent the whole movie texting on her phone! Chai!

Well he hung in there............ isn't life grand?
Thank God for journey mercies oh! I came back on Saturday and I had been on 6 different flights so I really have to thank God because that is 12 different times of taking off and landing which is when your plane is under the most stress and more likely to blow up (yes I thought about that every time!!)

OK let me tell you all the fab stuff about my trip. First was hugs and kisses. From family and friends. My brother and little cousins are growing so fast, my friends are so glamorous and handsome and my cousins and aunts/uncles are shiny and glowing. I loved seeing each and everyone of them. And for the first time in my adult life all I heard was "you are looking so good Caramel, keep it up". Jehovah! That was a really big deal for me!

Second fab stuff. My new house!!! It was the first time I got to see it 90% completed. All my life in my home town we had been in my Grandfather's palace. Where your business is every one's concern and you walk around in the same compound as hooligans who are trying to kill your Father and there is nothing you could do about it because it was their home too. But now ehen, Caramel has her own room with en suite so I can walk around in my knickers and jump on my bed and it was all good. The house is freaking huge though, cleaning it lost me 3 kg in one week!

Third fab stuff. My sweetheart's wedding which is the main reason I flew home in the first place. I was soooooooo happy seeing the couple together, it was ridiculous. Exclusive gist is coming! I will write a post about that later because it was quite revolutionary for a Nigerian wedding.

Last fab stuff. Ube! Yes oh, you heard me! African pear and corn! I ate ube like it was going out of fashion. My tongue was perpetually green. If you analyse my blood it will be just ube, corn and coconut :)

Not so fab stuff (NSFS)

NSFS one. I was haunted by ghosts of lovers past. I had one who I have previously called Party Boy, explain to me that why he vanished for four months while I was doing my NYSC was because he felt we were getting too serious and he didn't want to hurt me so he decided in his infinite wisdom, to vanish off the face of the earth, cause me untold worry and increase my BP so as to cool down our romance and keep us just at friends level. Have you ever heard such BS?! The ear bashing I gave him is too long for this post. He apologised and said he didn't want to be an ex boyfriend who I would think of as an asshole but I had to reply that that was what he ended up being anyway. Anyway old gist. I have no beef for the guy, and there is still mad chemistry between us BUT my life is too short. I did tell him to review how he treats women though cos his policies have serious K leg!!

Also Baked Beans sister told me that he really likes me, crazy about me, and always talks to her about me and goes into a bad mood when we used to argue etc etc. Pekele pekele! Tales by moonlight! Are we talking about the Ice Prince of Anambra State? The one guy who was still calling me a friend with his last breath. She said it was all smoke and mirrors. True as that maybe it still doesn't change anything. Gave me food for thought though. These men in my life and their stories. Saying one thing and meaning another. I wish I had a guy who would look me in the face and talk straight for once with no games or egos.

NSFS two. I didn't get time to be anyone other than Caramel the sister, daughter and niece. I had worked my butt off at home especially with looking after my 98 yr old Grandma who needs help with personal care and feeding etc (OMG where was BSNC for advice???) that I had been looking forward to letting my hair down in Lagos. Unfortunately through bizarre bad luck I missed my flight and didn't make it back to Lagos till Monday. Missed my sweetheart's bridal shower over the weekend! I was also meant to meet some friends but that never happened either and I had been looking forward to that so much. There must be a reason I don't know yet. Maybe if I had gone out on Saturday I would have ended up being some Sultan's 18th wife in Saudi Arabia.......who knows? LMAO!!!

So questions to help me answer.....

1. Why are women spending N150 000 on fake hair?
2. Why is there a new roundabout on the Lekki express way?
3. Why did FIFA give Nigeria a football ban?
4. How does my Aunty get her puff puff so light and airy?
5. Why does my cooking taste better in Nigeria?
6. What good luck was on my side to make me get my foodstuff past customs in Heathrow? LMAO!!!!

I will be on my way to Naija. Guess what my airport reading of choice is.... Yup! It came in the post this morning. I told Myne that I most have it before I travel. I'm trying to respect myself and not start it yet but it is so hard!
I'm waiting for the day when I travel home without the normal mixture of joy and worry. Joy because you will see loved ones, worry about packing.
So ridiculous. The pressure I put myself under, do I have all my make up and toiletries? Enough shoes? 'Gifts' to give people? In fact that one is null and void. I am so broke it isn't even up for discussion. That won't stop people looking at your hand waiting for the present to magically appear LMAO!
Lord, they day I will fly home without stress. The day I will fly home without half my baggage allowance being hijacked by my Mother..... :)
The good thing about Blogger is that you can say stuff you can't say normally so here goes....THE NEXT PERSON THAT SAYS DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT A HUSBAND IS GOING TO GET SLAPPED!
Aaaaaaaah better.
I tell you, I can't wait for the sunshine! Real African sunshine that will roast you like boli! We have been deprived here oh, to the point that one of my students called me a Latino. Chai!
I also can't wait to see my family and friends and give them a big hug! Phone calls only go so far jo! I must also go to the beach and the movies so that people can clap when the movie ends hahahaha!
PS My blog is going to be three next month, any ideas on how I can mark the occassion?

1. I love books! Love them die! If I don not have a book in my handbag, I get very very cranky. Agatha Christie is my favourite of all time, but I love so many genres. If I start discussing it now, the post won't finish. From when I was a little girl, books were my daily companion for an only child. From your room you could be transported to any continent, any era, any adventure. Bliss!

2. Jaffa Cakes (for those that don't know) are miniature sponge bases with orange and dark chocolate on top. It is a dieting person's dream because it is the most nonlethal of treats and covers your chocolate craving as well. Warning: even though it is 1g of fat per cake that doesn't mean you should finish the packet!

3. I'm a Catholic and I am so very lucky to have my office on the doorstep of our main cathedral, Westminster Cathedral. It is so beautiful and an oasis of peace in the middle of crazy London. When things get too much I like to pop in for mass or to just sit and gather myself.

4. Handbags, shoes, earrings, rings, hair clips, necklaces! Name it and be sure that Caramel loves it. Let me tell you, the clothes are just the beginning. I am not dressed until I have added something else, somewhere! Some times I just like adding a flower to my hair just to perk me up! I do wander a bit too much into the Accessorize store near my office but I have started respecting myself as money no dey!

5. Zumba! The best thing that has happened to my weight loss program. For one hour straight, you dance like a mad person and watch the calories fall off. You may think that you are dancing any old way but each swivel, twist and shake is targeting a specific part of your body. If you hate exercise but love dancing and music, then give it a go. I promise you WILL NOT be disappointed.

6. Fake hair is not just a convenience for me, it is also a form of self expression and art. I have natural hair and it needs safeguarding so trust me, no one will be seeing it any time soon.

7. Period and costume dramas have some kind of hold over me. I enjoy reading classic literature to be sure, but when someone takes their time and adapts it to the screen, then I'm hooked. I get very annoyed when producers don't stick to the spirit of the story and just do whatever they want with a couple of people in bonnets and cravats! But the BBC are legends! They use only the very best and it shows in their work. For example, in Pride & Prejudice, the actresses were not allowed to use mascara as it had not been invented then!

8. I never liked online shopping but now as I don't have much time outside work, it has become my saviour. Click, click, compare prices and then pay. End of story.

9. It isn't just the drinking of tea, there is also something very soothing about going through the rituals of making tea as well. Many a problem has been hashed out over a cup of some kind of tea in my adult years. My friend got me hooked in university and now I can't get enough of the stuff. Growing up, I would make tea for my parents and take it up stairs and we would talk about what we had planned for the weekend or holidays. Definitely a tea drinking family :)

10. At university I remember going to a yoga class, just see what all the fuss was about. An hour later I was hurting and panting and realising this was some serious stuff mehn!!!! Yoga has helped my tummy go down, has built my upper body strength, and has kept me supple and limber. I'm very appreciative of that as working in an office five days a week can wreck your posture. I do Hatha Yoga and that has parts that will make your heart race so it is like cardio. One of the moves is reverse triangle which think is what those peeps are doing up there. See how you will start sweating eh! Chai! Meanwhile there will be a 60 year old woman next to you not batting an eyelid and looking like she is 35!

Thanks Lucidlilith for tagging me :) Anyone that wants to do, have a go, it's fun! Makes you remember good stuff.

I have another post, a meme Lucidlilith tagged me on ages ago but the more I wrote that one, the more I just had to write about the dream I had last night.

I have dreams all the time, mostly random rubbish that I don't remember. I have the odd freaky premonition dreams about loved ones and they are always negative and turn out to be true. Last night's one was different. I dreamt about a man. I don't remember his face but I believe it's someone I have never met before because surely I would have recognised him.

So from what I can remember I'm at a work function and we are all dressed up but I'm still working (happens a lot). The difference is I'm in an evening gown but I still have my notepad and big camera. So mystery man is shadowing me like you do when you are on work experience or something. He knows my manager (called her by name) but I know he is not a colleague.

The whole evening looks like a fashion show gala put together by our students but instead of normal teenagers from my college the 'students' are my old girls from my FGGC school! Random!! Anyways the whole evening, mystery man is helping me work but we snipe at each other all the time and he is winding me up and getting better interviews and quotes than I am, so I should be annoyed but I'm enjoying his company.

What I do recall clearly is that even when we stop working, he still sits with me and won't let anyone draw him away and he kissed me twice . Short, quick and by surprise. I can't remember how the dream ends, but why I'm even writing this down is the feeling I had when I woke up.

Such contentment and happiness.

Now it could have been my new double bed with new springy mattress, or the ibruprofen I took because I hurt myself in the gym last night, but I doubt it. The feeling of pure undiluted happiness I had in the first two minutes of waking up, I am sad to say I have not felt in 'real' life for a very long time. The dream itself wasn't all that if we are relying purely on content (two short kisses? pah! I've had better fantasy dreams that could make your computer screen crack) so was it this human being thatI have never met before?

If we are going all spiritual and that is 'The One', well he was defintely not my type. Looked nothing like anyone I have gone gaga for in the past. I wish I could remember his face! The more I think about it the more a veil drops over the whole thing. Puzzling, huh?

Praise be to the Lord!!!!!

After six months and ten days of homelessness, we finally moved in to our new house over the weekend. My body hurts but my heart is happy. Obviously our new home looks like a war zone but we have a clear path to the bathroom, kitchen and our beds and for now that is all that matters :)

May God bless you guys for your empathy and concern. For your viewing pleasure I present to you my little cousin in his thanksgiving video for our new house. PS sorry about the wobbly video I was dancing as well while filming.


Superted is a children's tv superhero of my youth. He was an abandoned toy bear who was given magic powers through cosmic dust or something.... can't remember. His sidekick was an alien called Spotty. A yellow man covered with spots.


For real. No honestly. The worst of the allergic reaction has passed and the antibiotics obviously worked but now my beautiful skin is hidden under a sprinkling of odd shaped circles. I hope it will fade but the question is when. I also believe that this is the mother of all mood killers. This is God trying to save my morality because there is no way I'm having any fun sessions with my Cuddle Buddy (copyright pending Caramel Delight 2010) with my skin looking like this, abeg!!!

Hope you all have a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend (for those that it reached shah).

PS Shame shame shame on Transport for London for working on no less that 9 tube lines this weekend!! How are we going to get around?

PPS Watch this space for some very good news coming soon [shhhhhhhhh].

PPPS Oh I lost a stone/6.5kg/14lbs. Two more stone to go! Go team. I shall not sprint like the hare, I shall walk slowly like the tortoise :)
How is that possible? At some point in the day my stomach can't be empty four times, surely! Anyway that is how the Doc told me to take the antibiotics she prescribed for the awful allergic reaction I got to who knows what during my friend's wedding weekend.

NOT SEXY !!!!!!!

She also gave me a cream to rub over all the spots but (as flexible as I am) I can't reach the ones on my back! So to all of you who just quarrelled with your significant other and nearly bashed them with the frying pan/remote control, at least you have someone to rub ointment on your back if you so needed.

OK moment of feeling sorry for myself is now over ;) Please pray for all the people who are directly or indirectly affected by this Icelandic volcanic ash cloud. See frustration everywhere, such a shame.

PS Now I thought living with ex-hottie wouldn't be an issue but it does have weird moments. He is hardly in during the week, but last weekend, I think it was Saturday really affected me jo. Me self, I have issues LOL!! I am grateful that I have somewhere to crash (so comfortably too, God will bless them Amen!) but I think talking to him about his wedding freaked me a little.

Ohhhhh I want to scratch so badly! Don't scratch!!!
Praise the Lord!!! Alleluia!!!

My friend's (read sister) wedding went off without a hitch. I have had this wedding on the brain for the past four months (plus homelessness), so it is nice to have one thing taken off my subconscious. All the emails, phonecalls, shopping trips, consultations and praying all came to fruition. We spent the weekend in Suffolk which is on the British coastline at a holiday home called the Old Neptune which was a converted inn. It had 12 bedrooms and two sitting rooms, dining rooms and kitchens. Check out the pics.....

One of my favourite rooms

The courtyard

My room.....

We sexied up the dining room with material and fake ivy from a hobbycraft store. Tres Martha Stewart.

The main sitting room with a giant working fireplace, I resisted the urge to roast a goat.

The biggest room, it had a sitting room and jacuzzi and sauna attached. Obviously for the newlyweds!

Now with regards to the title of the post. As an African couple, you can imagine that their decision to take only 24 people on a weekend getaway as their wedding did not go down well with a lot of people. Even though they are having a giant reception in their house when they get back from their honeymoon, people are still pissed off. Now aunties and uncles I get. What baffles me is some of the brides friends as well. She called everyone explained that they have bought a house as well and this is their dream wedding but still stories are reaching my ears of serious bitching.
It is because we are African!
I know so many white people who travel out all the time for their wedding and enjoy themselves without any drama. The crux of the whole thing was that it was such a good idea, everyone pitched in and had a good time especially not being in London. I want this white people life jo! By hook or by crook I'm going to start travelling out and not just to Naija!!
PS Of course, of course my period came on Friday! Na wa! My cycle is some kind of evil ninja! My lovely bridesmaid dress was now tight! Mschhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww x 10.
PPS yes this now makes it my 7th bridesmaid gig. I am definitely going to write about that soon.
I will be enjoying my second time of being a co-host on Verastically Speakin' this Saturday with Juicee Gal and Ray. If you can please tune in through the power of the Internet and give us a shout out. Our topic is "These are a few of my favourite hairs" (I'm giggling already). We will be talking about the female form and hair. The hair on your head both real and fake, the hair on your body and all the things we do to ourselves all in the name of keeping them at bay. Men should definitely tune in because half of this self torture is your fault ;)

I like living in one place and having things all nice and homely. I could tell you where my passport was in my desk drawer and that my sports bra hung on the back of my wardrobe door, I could even switch off my bed side light without looking at it. So still being homeless after 5 months is something of a personal nightmare.

After three unlucky strikes we are now on house 4 and if you see treachery eh! Chai! Don't trust estate agents (I'm sorry if that is you or your loved one's profession, but damn!). Our purchase of house 4 goes slowly and awkwardly along with no end in sight till maybe the end of April due to nit picking and stalling tactics. We have to leave my friend's house over the Easter weekend and that is also bringing up unforeseen problems. It's like you solve one problem and another one pops up.

Well as I'm typing this I'm eating toast and watching Scrubs and thinking about a cup of tea (I don't care if it is 1am.) Let's boil the kettle. As Sirius would say, "I can't shout." If the Children of Israel could wonder around for 40 years, I'm sure I can handle six months.

PS I'm crashing at ex-hottie's flat and I'm not even thinking about how weird that might be..... a lot sure can change in two years!
I'm putting baby pictures of I and my brother in my Mum's Mother's Day card and I thought I'll put these up again .

I thought we could do with a little smile after my mini meltdown yesterday. Thank you for all your understanding and e-hugs xxx

If you can find the post where these pics first made their debut you win a prize (Sirius you can't enter!!)

PS Happy Mother's Day this Sunday.

I swear I had better hair as a baby hahahaha!

I can't stand when people say that but here I am shamessly saying the same thing. I must be hormonal, that must be the reason why I'm sitting in broad daylight in an open office, with my chest hurting while I fight back tears and tell my colleagues that dust from the stationary cupboard got in my eyes and that is why it's red.

What hurts so much is the ease in which he walked away. I thought I was a big girl and could handle the hot water that was sure to burn me but obviously I'm not hardened enough. All this is in the past but talking to him online today just made my head hurt and the tears come because I don't think he even gets it.

Somewhere in London there is a foolish 28 year old Igbo woman crying at her desk like a fool. I'm trying to stop but it's not working. I don't even know what my problem is, this wasn't even what I'm meant to be writing about. Maybe these tears are long over due, I don't know.

This is actually my fault. I need to make sure I don't even start falling for people, because once I start it is very hard to turn it off. I'm not a damn tap. When will I learn? How did I think it would end? What kind of delayed reaction am I suffering now?
(All a bit random)

Yummmmmmmmmmmm just had the nicest soup ever! Sweet Potato and Chilli. Yummmmm!
So I am losing weight slowly as per the plan, all is on course. I went to the designer who is making my bridesmaid outfit for my friend's wedding in April (I know, another one, I'm so going to write about my professional bridesmaid runs) and she had my measurements from November. So bust, under bust, waist, CaramelD has lost two inches minimum. The lady was measuring me and comparing the measurements and it was like music to my ears. Then we get to my hips......just 1/2 inch! Haba! Na wa oh for my God given African bumper. It isn't budging! It is a weapon of mass destruction! 8lbs lost and still the hips/bum don't budge!!!
I was going to post a picture of my hips then I realise that over the past year I keep posting pictures of my bum for one reason or the other so I thought I better cool it ;)
I am proud of my online name ie Caramel Delight because it was given to me by a friend. Then today I Googled the name, ah haba! Every one and their dog has the name for one thing or the other! Mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww! Imagine!!! My blog does come up in the top selection but dang!
Going through my blog (I was looking for a particular post) and I realised just how much I have written through the past two and a half years. All the adventures in Lagos during youth service, men drama, family issues and just plain randoms. I loved looking at just the titles. Makes me want to read my blog from the beginning! If should ever crash, I would be in big trouble, too many memories here to lose.
The good mood of the previous post lasted well into the week but came crashing down on Thursday when my friend (who owns the flat I have been crashing in) flew in London and made it clear that my Mum and I had outstayed our welcome. Oh gosh, I felt so so so bad. So uncomfortable. Mortified even. I have told my Mum by fire by force, whatever bad luck is following our house search ( I owe Nice Anon a detailed explanation) we have to be out by next month.
I am going to be a co-host on Verastically Speakin' on the 6th of March! Whoooooooooooooooop! I'm so exicted! Also quite nervous as I'm sure that I sound like a baby over the radio (I used to do hospital radio when I was in university). The topic is Big Size = Big Dating Problem (cough cough)! I can't wait!
PS I forgot to say, there is an American baby book which is the best seller in its genre (I have to double check the name). So it has over 100 000 international baby names and some are Nigerian. Under 'c', they had my name whoop! My Igbo name is not all that popular, so to have my name and not a 'Chioma', 'Chinwe', 'Nkechi' or 'Adaeze' in sight was great! hahahahahahahahahha!
OK lunch break over, back to work xx


I know this might not last long but I shall ride out the good vibrations until something (probably from work) comes and messes it up! I always bitching here about one thing or the other so how lovely just just write that I feel fabulous! It doesn't even feel like a Monday! It feels like a Wednesday afternoon (when hope starts creeping in that you just might survive till the weekend)!

It might be that this weekend I got a chance to sleep. Like really just rest and sit still. I was meant to babysit for my cousin so she could go out with her husband but she fell ill so I was no longer needed. I also got a visit from my Cuddle Buddy (copyright pending) that was oh so lovely, in fact purrrrrrfect ;) When he left I watched back to back Agatha Christie's Poirot while my body recovered. I love David Suchet (below pic). He is the ultimate Poirot. No one can touch that role ever again.....I forbid it!

Then Sunday was cooking belated birthday lunch for the Maternal Unit. I had to banish her from the kitchen. Na wa oh! You are cooking for someone and they are hovering around the kitchen door asking "do you need a hand?" LOL!

Anyway did I mention I feel great? hahahahaha. Also I got an interview into the Evening Standard! This is big for me! Huge! To have a major London daily run an interview with one of our students was amazing!!! Hopefully he will remember how quick I was and oh so helpful and call us again anytime he needs something about colleges or further education.

Problems haven't vanished into thin air, just that right now, right here I feel fabulous and I hope you all do too.

Oh before I forget, I hope all you Valentines people had a lovely weekend?


Trying to remember nice things so that I can cheer up. I went to see Wicked with my cousins. That was so beautiful. What a smart story, taking an old tale like the Wizard of Oz and turning it on its head. It is freezing here. I'm so over winter, it should finish so I can feel my finger tips when I walk and sleep naked again.

So already in a pissy mood, then my Mum called, the cupboard in my friend's flat fell on her!!! We have always said there were too many boxes full of all sorts stacked in the kitchen but when it is not your place you don't go around re-arranging stuff. That's how the cupboard came off the wall and boxes fell on her. She actually stayed and used her hand to wedge the doors so the glasses wouldn't break. Poor woman, she said she is OK. It is her birthday on Friday,what a prelude.

So went to look for a birthday present for my Mum as I'm mad busy tomorrow. Whooooo! Who told me to enter a card shop a few days before Valentine's Day? It was heaving with harassed looking individuals (of both sexes), I had to inch along slowly to get to the much reduced birthday section. The icing on the cake was the news camera crew. It must be a slow news week to be filming a segment on Valentines Day shopping habits!

So so so so so restless! I have been like this for a few days now and let me say it is as irritating as hell. I don't know what my problem is. Even the fast pace of work is not helping....and no, it's not PMS! I can't be bothered !!! Not a good attitude to have when trying to plan your friend's hen night. Weddings, I'm your woman, but hen nights, I'm stumped! Also you have to make sure the places and activities are affordable. Why can't people just do a one night thing and go home? These days it's a weekend activity! Any ideas?

OK shooting off Blogger now. I have to leave in half an hour to make my driving lesson, I have to sort out stuff for our Open Day tomorrow and I've lost a journalist. Well I didn't lose him per say but he is no longer picking up the phone and I want him to use our student for his newspaper article.
There is no Internet in the flat and I'm not at work so I'm feeling out of the Internet loop! Just wanted to say hi to everyone!!!

PS Jury service is less about the law and more about the waiting. I've been waiting but it's all good. Tomorrow should be the jackpot!! I will be all grown up and justicey and a serious mature individual.

PPS In total God has seen fit to call to him 5 members of my extended family this month alone. It's a big shock but I pray that their souls fly up on angel's wings.

PPPS God bless 24! They gave Freddie Prince Jr a job ;) I'm sooo exicted that Season 8 has started. I love Jack Bauer whooooooooooooooooooooooppp!

I found out recently that a lady considers me some kind of threat to her relationship. The truth is the complete opposite and while I feel bad that she might be worrying, I'm also very thrilled! I am considered dangerous! How fabulous!! I always feel a bit wallpaperish (does that make sense?) and not out there in the sexy woman seduction so for me to be minding my own business and be told that I am making people uncomfortable ...............IS A GREAT COMPLIMENT!!!

Have a great week xxx

A few posts back, I spoke about this guy and how he was working my last nerve. I tried to be patient but after a conversation where he wanted to know how many men I had slept with, I told him his conversations annoy me and I stopped picking his calls. This was before Christmas. So why is this moo moo man DAPO sending me a text message with a picture of his penis attached! Chineke!!! I have suffered! The title of the message was actually "All this could be yours if you are lucky". In which dimension??? My phone feels violated. What, did he think that I would look at the picture and immediately give him a call? Stupid fool!
Oh so slightly stressed.

Like I said in my last post I wanted more responsibilities at work and now I have it. To cope with my workload I have started coming in early to work but now I'm so sleepy I want to cry.

This morning I get a text that my phone bill is £116!!!! My phone bill never ever passes £35 and that includes VAT!!! Lord have mercy on my soul. Did an alien take my phone?

My friend and her husband breezed through her flat over the holidays and as much as I love her I can see that we now have to move out as soon as possible because she frequently flies into London and we don't mesh well living in her flat. Trying to view houses with my office hours and the Chronicles of Narnia snow we have been getting is proving rather difficult.

Deep calming breaths.

I knew I was getting stressed when yesterday evening I nearly whacked a shop keeper with my bag of fresh okra when he said that not only did he not have spinach but that they had also run out of boiling chicken! Grrrrrr. It was actually quite funny. I need to cook for my Mother oh she is coming back next week, I need spinach people!!! Silly Wembley Park, give me Harrow any day of the week!

We have awards submission deadline next Friday and that I will be working late hours again!!! Plus I have been called for jury duty the week beginning 25th so more work will pile up!!!

I want chocolate (but will definitely not have any) or maybe some vodka !

On the up side healthy eating going well. I have also realised I get very steamed up when I'm not eating stupidly, maybe food was some form of sexual suppressant for me and I'm secretly some wild animal. Who knows?

January is very weird of late. I have lost one school girl, an Uncle and my Mum's aunt. All before the month is half way done. Na wa oh! May their souls rest in peace, Amen.

Also for those of you who were here when I was freaking out because of my Dad and his brothers and all that wahala in the palace, I can happily announce that my family has moved into the new house and out of that poisoned atmosphere of the palace compound. The house isn't completed but my Mum and Dad and brother are working so hard and sorting stuff out. The furniture is in and they sleep there so it's all gravy. I thank God from the bottom of my heart for that.

PS My cousin wife told my Mum that I'm not married because I am picky and waiting for some kind of magic to happen! Chai! I have suffered but I will rant about that later. I feel better now so back to work.

A friend thinks I'm crazy because I have an unrelenting sense of slightly exaggerated hysteria concerning the new year.
I know it is my year.
I know it because I want it to be.
Late last year I did a little soul searching and realised that I didn't like the way I was living my life. It wasn't anything dire, it's just that I was a bit too passive. I was letting things roll and just coasting. I have goals and I have desires but I step back because maybe I feel I shouldn't want so much.
Well that ship has sailed.
I have decided that I can have as many goals as possible and in His infinite mercy, if God answers my prayers and gives me strength, wisdom, grace and understanding I will achieve them.
For someone who doesn't 'do' resolutions I now have one big resolution in my change the way I think. That includes not being so passive, not being such a people pleaser and (this phrase I learnt from GNG) to stop taking Panadol for other people's headache.
So on December 31 2010 I will come back to this post and see how many goals on my power list I have achieved.
Happy New Year everyone.
1. Driving License
2. Stable and healthy weight loss
3. Bigger projects at work
4. To find a single, emotionally available man, who shares the same cultural values, beliefs and value systems as I do.