Thank God for journey mercies oh! I came back on Saturday and I had been on 6 different flights so I really have to thank God because that is 12 different times of taking off and landing which is when your plane is under the most stress and more likely to blow up (yes I thought about that every time!!)

OK let me tell you all the fab stuff about my trip. First was hugs and kisses. From family and friends. My brother and little cousins are growing so fast, my friends are so glamorous and handsome and my cousins and aunts/uncles are shiny and glowing. I loved seeing each and everyone of them. And for the first time in my adult life all I heard was "you are looking so good Caramel, keep it up". Jehovah! That was a really big deal for me!

Second fab stuff. My new house!!! It was the first time I got to see it 90% completed. All my life in my home town we had been in my Grandfather's palace. Where your business is every one's concern and you walk around in the same compound as hooligans who are trying to kill your Father and there is nothing you could do about it because it was their home too. But now ehen, Caramel has her own room with en suite so I can walk around in my knickers and jump on my bed and it was all good. The house is freaking huge though, cleaning it lost me 3 kg in one week!

Third fab stuff. My sweetheart's wedding which is the main reason I flew home in the first place. I was soooooooo happy seeing the couple together, it was ridiculous. Exclusive gist is coming! I will write a post about that later because it was quite revolutionary for a Nigerian wedding.

Last fab stuff. Ube! Yes oh, you heard me! African pear and corn! I ate ube like it was going out of fashion. My tongue was perpetually green. If you analyse my blood it will be just ube, corn and coconut :)

Not so fab stuff (NSFS)

NSFS one. I was haunted by ghosts of lovers past. I had one who I have previously called Party Boy, explain to me that why he vanished for four months while I was doing my NYSC was because he felt we were getting too serious and he didn't want to hurt me so he decided in his infinite wisdom, to vanish off the face of the earth, cause me untold worry and increase my BP so as to cool down our romance and keep us just at friends level. Have you ever heard such BS?! The ear bashing I gave him is too long for this post. He apologised and said he didn't want to be an ex boyfriend who I would think of as an asshole but I had to reply that that was what he ended up being anyway. Anyway old gist. I have no beef for the guy, and there is still mad chemistry between us BUT my life is too short. I did tell him to review how he treats women though cos his policies have serious K leg!!

Also Baked Beans sister told me that he really likes me, crazy about me, and always talks to her about me and goes into a bad mood when we used to argue etc etc. Pekele pekele! Tales by moonlight! Are we talking about the Ice Prince of Anambra State? The one guy who was still calling me a friend with his last breath. She said it was all smoke and mirrors. True as that maybe it still doesn't change anything. Gave me food for thought though. These men in my life and their stories. Saying one thing and meaning another. I wish I had a guy who would look me in the face and talk straight for once with no games or egos.

NSFS two. I didn't get time to be anyone other than Caramel the sister, daughter and niece. I had worked my butt off at home especially with looking after my 98 yr old Grandma who needs help with personal care and feeding etc (OMG where was BSNC for advice???) that I had been looking forward to letting my hair down in Lagos. Unfortunately through bizarre bad luck I missed my flight and didn't make it back to Lagos till Monday. Missed my sweetheart's bridal shower over the weekend! I was also meant to meet some friends but that never happened either and I had been looking forward to that so much. There must be a reason I don't know yet. Maybe if I had gone out on Saturday I would have ended up being some Sultan's 18th wife in Saudi Arabia.......who knows? LMAO!!!

So questions to help me answer.....

1. Why are women spending N150 000 on fake hair?
2. Why is there a new roundabout on the Lekki express way?
3. Why did FIFA give Nigeria a football ban?
4. How does my Aunty get her puff puff so light and airy?
5. Why does my cooking taste better in Nigeria?
6. What good luck was on my side to make me get my foodstuff past customs in Heathrow? LMAO!!!!
20 Responses
  1. Nice Anon Says:

    Haven't had ube in yearsss! Welcome back! Missed ya

  2. CaramelD Says:

    Nne warrup? I will eat ube in your honour when I get home :)

  3. doll Says:

    Women are spending N150k on weave cuz they can. LOL
    the extra roundabout is for those going into that amazon side i guess!

    Am tired of answering, am sure they were rhetorical questions anyways

  4. QuTe Says:

    150k? Chineke God of Akwa Ibom... :)

  5. akaBagucci Says:

    Rhetorical questions, aye? Those friends need to be caned....

  6. mizchif Says:

    Thank God for journey mercies, i can definitely relate after all the planes i had to get on last week.

    Thank God for all th fab stuff. Oh and UBE!!! I jealous you muchly!

    As for your questions.
    Mai sista! Honestly this hair thing is now bad. Biko look at girls who have never earned half of that amount wearing it on their head. And now it's almost like you dare not show your face in public without 22" of outrageously priced hair on your head.
    Jesus be some sense please.

    Oh and a new lekki roundabout?
    I wanna see!!!

  7. yomitunde Says:

    the hair madness is somethin else. these gals are all over the place with brazilian hair, indian hair eyptian hair etc... they for come this world as such now. to add insult to injury 99.999 percent of them dont work o. they would rather buy hair then eat their three square nutritiuos meal. rubbish and intete pshiii

  8. CaramelD Says:

    It is a lie! I replied everyone's comments and it has vanished! Ohhhh gosh, I have to start typing again? Ewo!

  9. CaramelD Says:

    @ Doll, you got tired quick hahaha!

    @Qu Te, LMAO,I haven't that in years!

    @DannyB, don't give me ideas....

    @Mizchif, that is the crux of the matter, girls buying the hair, 70% can't afford it themselves ha!

    @Yomitunde, not just here but in America too. I don't think the hair fever is too bad in London because we have a whole range to pick from. It's like a fever!

  10. ~Sirius~ Says:

    Let's not get into that hair talk phulease......

    I have not found a valid reason why I should part with such a huge sum on fake hair when I can buy the new Iphone or an Ipad with that! *kmt*

    Good trip I must say, even though you couldn't do all you wanted to.

    I will be watching this space for more *wink*

    Glad you are back home.

  11. Myne Whitman Says:

    Welcome back sweetheart, I'm glad your journey went well.

    N150,000 you say? Where do they get the money?

    You got your food stuff past those meanies at the airport? Whoop, whoop! LOL...

  12. leggy Says:

    15ok kee?na wa oh.
    ive seen quite a few weddings in nigeria, i doubt any you can describe can sound revolutionary to me cos the more i see the more convinced i am that ill def have my wedding in nigeria.
    im glad your house is almost really happy for you.

  13. SHE Says:

    I have answers to some of your questions, but that might make a whole post!

    1) Perhaps because thay don't have 150,000 worth of sense.
    2) I don't know. should i find out for you?
    3) No be FIFA o! Na GJ. He has since lifted it.
    4)Maybe she uses plenty yeast, then leaves the dough out in the sun...
    5)Erm...haven't tasted your cooking. home or abroad, so I can't really tell.
    6)Maybe your fine face?


  14. Myne Whitman Says:

    Now I know what the gist is about, I can't wait o,lol...

  15. CaramelD Says:

    @ Sirius, stop winking at me you coded Blogsville Bride! LMAO!

    @Myne, my fresh ukwa was in peril. The guy just kept asking questions! Then he said have a good day (phew)!

    @Leggy, thank you oh! I know you remember all the drama from last year. Thank God now we can just close our and shut out the crazies.

    @SHE, this is why you rock! Only you will actuall answer all the questions! hahahahaha

    @Myne, don't worry inside scoop coming up soonish!

  16. Anonymous Says:


  17. isha Says:

    Ube rocks mehn. I'm very much with you on that steezs. And it tastes so much better with corn. Glad to know you had a good trip, allbeit too short.

    1. I don't get the Brazillian/Portugese/Indian hair business too. It's ridiculous.
    2. In LCC's mind, they're making the that Lekki expressway wider, and better. But the tollgate and roundabouts are just adding to the palava in my mind.
    3. ??? Makes no sense. The ban is useless except the NFA 'revolutionizes' the Super Eagles. How are they going to make sure that happens?
    4. Beats me too.
    5. Because all the ingredients and poposinsin are natural/organic/unprocessed/etc
    6. Bless the Lord!

    Have a lovely weekend!

  18. LucidLilith Says:

    na wetin happen to my comment?????

    any way the top three naija snacks:
    Obacha mmiri

  19. ibiluv Says:

    150k on fake hair?
    cos they can....

    adds more traffic i reckon...even though it should reduce it to the barest minimum...

    na Goodluck ban international games for our footballers...well cos he cant disband all the corupt motherfuckers in the NFA....

    your Aunt?
    ask her......

    your coking?cos everything is fresh?didnt travel over the sea?

    your food thru customs?cos you are hawt???

  20. CaramelD Says:

    @ Rethots, Wetin?

    @Isha, you rock too! Ube lovers unite!

    @LucidLilith, add green mangoes to your list and we are in business!!!

    @Ibiluv, thank you for recognising my hawtness, may God bless you LOL!!!