Hmmmm something is up this early morning! My normally cheerful manager has been quiet this morning. She was meant to be on leave till Wednesday but came in this Monday morning instead and she keeps dashing to speak on the phone. My Spidey senses are tingling and I am quite worried.

On a professional level I haven't had my Monday meeting with her to know what's up this week and all. I hope it's not a serious problem or man drama hmmm! It was her birthday on Sunday, the good vibes should be enough to last her till this afternoon at least! I am sending positive energy towards her desk (I have super powers you know!!)

Talking about birthdays...HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHEONIX!!!!!!
PS The cake is for you but it keeps moving to the top of the page ! It wants to be centre of attention.

Oh sh!t, I'm soooooooooo sleepy. I don't know what to do. I'm already blasting music in my ears through my phone and it is starting to lose it's power. Help!

Sometimes there are quite lulls in the office and I normally do some research for future work, trawl facebook or eat biscuits (are we surprised that I'm extra fat?). Well due to the fact that period pains rendered sleep useless last night I can't keep my eyes open to do the reading I need for my research. Facebook is boring of late so no help there and my days of mindless biscuit eating are over (can I get an Alleluia from the congregation?).


Daydreaming is a good option. I used to be so good at that, my imagination would take me anywhere I wanted to go, for example:

  • Backing dancer for Micheal Jackson
  • Backing singer for Micheal Jackson
  • Fan that gets randomly chosen to come on the stage and hug Michael Jackson (it was the 90s and I LOVED HIM)

What kind of daydreamer would I have been if I didn't have the requisite daydream about boys I had crushes on? In my imagination real obstacles would suddenly disappear like:

  • I would no longer be the tallest girl in my year and would now be a height that would render me cute and fanciable
  • We could have normal conversations without my/his friends spying on us in the playground
  • My hair wouldn't be in big bunches/plaits/thread but would instead be relaxed and flowing off my head
  • We would find ourselves in scenarios that would lend to longs talks (oh please, allow me I was 10 +) like the music cupboard after choir or orchestra practice, or helping our teachers after class on some project or the other.

Oh boy my mind could wander and wander it did. The problem with daydreaming at the age of 26 in a busy office is that your line manager would soon notice that you are not working. Anyway 20 minutes left, I'll think of something. Maybe I'll Google my name or something :-)


My cousin sent me this picture and I laughed so much that I thought I would share it.
Wow....100 posts of stories, musings and pure unadulterated ranting! hahaha.
This post is therefore a good time to blab that I've gone and joined a slimming club. YEP!!!!
I'm normally not a fan of these things but I had to do something!!! My weight is ridiculous and getting dangerous too on the health point of view!
So I put my pride aside and joined my local club. I will track my weight loss here for inspiration and to keep me on the straight and narrow. With God's grace I want to drop one stone (14lbs) by the 2nd of August. That's when we are having the big family shin dig in America.
I hadn't blogged this week because I was in a nasty mood! PMS came and slapped me back and front! I had it all..bloated like a whale, weepy, violent and sluggishly tired. The worst part is that I am stupidly late so the symptoms won't GO AWAY!!

Anywhos..why am I then writing?, because I just got played serioulsy.

I got a text from a family friend of mine, that went like this:

I'm in London (don't ask) need to speak to you urgently (need a favour) can you call me on 0207 930 832. Batt low, ask for Liz she will pass you on to me.

Now if you knew this person you would know how so typical this message is. He is always zooming to London at the drop of a hat (he lives in Manchester) and he always has one adventure or the other!

So I come out of a meeting, see the message and call. The phone rings, and rings and rings. Just as I am about to drop the phone the answering machine comes on "Thank you for calling Buckingham Palace, if you would like to speak to the operator........"

HABA!! Let me get my hands on this boy, I will slap him back to Nigeria !!! I have suffered...Chai!
The title says it all. He is 70 today and I am amazed because he still rolls like he just turned 50 LOL.

  • The most cherished man in my life
  • The most annoying man in my life

I was always a Daddy's girl but somewhere between 7 and 12 he stopped getting what made me click. We have bashed heads so many times but I know that even though he doesn't understand me, he loves me and that is enough.

Top 5 Daddy skills

  1. Giving me a serious love of old movies
  2. Picking me up from school when period pain used to render me dysfunctional
  3. Giving me the men/relationship talk straight up and keeping it real
  4. Glaming me up back in the day (gold jewellery, handbags, perfume)
  5. Knowing how to parrrrrrrrttttttttyyyyyyyyy

I pray for a safe, happy, healthy life for you. No one has your class, no one has your style. Wouldn't swap you for any other!

Eeeeeeeeek at my desk, eating!!! Naughty girl! Okay it's crackers but that is sooooooooo not the point! I'm stationary and the only part moving are my fingers and hands when I answer the phone or type. Today has been quiet and I have been left to my own devices. I decided to be proactive and started researching information that I will need for a future project (but I still got a bit bored).

Meanwhile when I was reading printed material sleep started slipping in ! Can you imagine!!!!! Hmm good thing I caught myself if not it would have been beyond shame! Someone would come to my side of the office and see drool on my chin etc. I like action, moving from desk to printer or anywhere. Running to different campuses and being kept on my toes that way I don't feel the tiredness.

This guy I met online keeps calling me for a date but I can't be bothered I really can't. Don't worry I haven't gone into granny mode (went raving on Saturday night, first time since I got back, loved it) I just can't be asked to sit across a table and make first time banal conversation.

"How are you?"
"Where are your parents from?"
"What church do you go to?"
"What do you do for fun?"
"Do you drink?" (Weird but popular Nigerian men question, like that says anything about you)
"What's your star sign?"
And on, and on and on!!

Yep one more thing... I must go to the gym oh! For the first time I didn't go last week and I'm telling you the fat came back like a stalking ex without a restraining order. I just have to force myself because (I can't stress this enough) THEY HAVE MY MONEY !!!! £38 EVERY MONTH! THAT IS MOTIVATION ENOUGH!!
For those that don't know, 'ukwu' is hip in Igbo and right now my left side is killing me. I had a nasty fall when I was 19 and when I'm over tired it's the first place to throb. I have been on my feet for the better part of 8 hours. My college was filming a cooking competition between some famous London radio presenters to promote our hospitality courses and I was the 'go to girl'.

So this girl went! Up and down stairs and corridors (which to be fair is part if the job description). I now have major respect for professional chefs because those industrial size kitchens are mad hot! Enough heat to take the curl out of a synthetic weave!! It was nice mixing with some celebs though but I tell you my job takes the vanity out of me.

Normally I'm all about the eyeshadow and reapplying lip gloss but today! CHAI!! I didn't even have my handbag near me. Hayfever took away my eyeliner, the heat of the kitchen added un-needed shine to my already shiny face and it was I could do to hold in the tummy when talking to aforementioned celebrities.


In closing let me just say that I consoled myself by checking out the butt of one not bad looking celebrity presenter and showing off with aforementioned efficiency!!! (I hope).

Day 2!! All is well apart from evil hayfever that makes me sound like an elephant in a quiet office. Thank you to all my lovely peeps that called or sent messages. Especially Phoenix that reached out across the ocean! Made feel buoyed up and supported awwwww.

Nothing much happening. I've been doing my induction and stuff like Fire Safety training and weird mini courses like 'How to avoid stress in the office!' etc.

I think my line manger is being nice to me as we are on our feet for the rest of the week covering major events and competitions that the college is running. Right now I'm just concentrating on learning, not being caught on Facebook and looking efficient! You know what's hard though? Looking for outfits for five days!!! Can't look to Samantha Jones for ideas, they would sack me LOL ! She looks gorgeous though, I can use her for PR inspiration!
I'm really cheery, right now! Absolutely spiffy!! LOL the sun is beating down (shock horror) and I went to church and lighted a candle for my sister-in-law and for me as I start work tomorrow YEAH! Go team!!

I'm trying to type but I keep stopping to dance on my chair because I have this correct naija jams on my computer !! Okay I'm is everyone?? I hope you are as chirpy as I am and if you are not try to remember that whatever is bugging you IT COULD BE MUCH WORSE!

OK if you want to laugh, we had people coming around yesterday morning to view our house at 10 in the morning. My Mum had gone to work and so I and my cousin ran around the house to vacum and jazz things up a little, even his wife who isn't feeling well folded her duvet and sat up and smiled when the people came to view the house.

When they left I went to the spare room where I'm sleeping now and saw there right there in the middle of my well made bed MY GREAT BIG 36F PADDED BRA!! Yes , I had left it there when I decided at the last minute to change my bra to fit the top I'm wearing..... I can't look our property guy in the face anymore when he brings people to view the house.

Anyway to the new job! Here is what my darling friend wrote about my new job on Facebook! Brought a huge smile to my face!

Rule #1 At all times...wing it.
Rule #2 If you don't know something the answer is, "I'll get back to you on that."
Rule #3 The other person is ALWAYS wrong, PR people know best.
Rule #4 Its not so much about the truth as it is about the story.
Rule#5 There's no such thing as a straightforward answer...make people think without telling them too much :)

Does anyone else have tips for me?
Sooooooo things were looking up today when my sister -in-law came back from her first bout of chemo. She is actually my cousin's wife but they are closer than that to me so it was fabulous to have her back in the house for the weekend.

In the evening I ran to the gym for a yoga class with this goddess of a woman called Rosie. Now Rosie looks like she could be in her early fifties but her body is that of a sixteen year old. All toned and supple and muscled...Talk about being the perfect advert for your trade!!!

Now during the class while we are twisting ourselves into all sorts of natural (or unnatural ) positions, Rosie will walk by some people and say "fantastic form Jack", or " you are progressing really well, lovely"! Well I wanted that to be me! I could be supple too!!!

So today I was really bending and twisting and moving hands, legs and even my butt in all sorts of directions and in the middle of my Triangle pose, she comes to me and says "your torso is perfect , look at that lovely stretch, fantastic!" Yeahhhhhhhhhh

Suddenly I feeling like yoga goddess extraordinaire. I'm two seconds away from releasing my own fitness video, I'm feeling smug as it has been a while since I did yoga and have wondered if I had lost my flexibility. Hurrah for me!

Then as the class is moving along we enter one deep move called Pigeon or something like that and it's not even that bad but I wasn't concentrating and 'KPOM' goes my left hip. OUUCHHHHHH!

The long and short of it is that I limped home this evening and have been favouring my hip like my Grandma... I know there is a lesson in here somewhere.

  • Phat Lady was proposed to by her long time boyfriend and she said yes! Yeah.. Plus I'm Maid of Honour (capital letters provided by me). They are aiming for March 2010 though !!! Yikes! I guess that is enough time for excess body mass to take a hike!

  • After chasing my old boss around, he finally sent my reference, so I start work next week Monday. Ohhhhh watch this space for plenty work gist!

  • Last but in no way least, my back fat has gone! Ladies know what I'm talking about, it's those two wings you get under your bra strap on either side of your body. Also the over hanging part of my upper arm that hangs over my elbows has also gone!!!! I know that as a big person it's a bit weird that these exact parts of my body get special mention. What it is, is that those parts show that I was entering a whole new zone of being overweight and to see them gone means that I'm not suffering in vain in those extra scary gym sessions. My tummy is also getting under control so I'm more determined!
I'm not dead but I can't write, the thing hated by all bloggers..... too many things on your mind and trying to find which thread to unravel first. Stay happy.