So.......on the whole, for me, even with some rays of light, 2010 was shit.

From January 3rd when a classmate died to a few days ago when my 16 year old relative passed on too, I felt that the year just wouldn't let up. I also got quite resentful with all that I catalogued in my head as never ending drama, seven deaths, house wahala, Mum's operation, my tussle with pneumonia and fighting unemployment. When we got a cancer diagnosis for a loved one I thought that was the end of me.

I did try very hard but naaaa, it just wasn't gelling (especially over Christmas aarrgghhhh). The funny thing now though is that as we enter 2011, there is that little point of grudging determined optimism. If you don't have hope that things will be better then what kind of life do you hope to live?

So no matter what I have hope for 2011. No the rah rah cheerleader over hyped excitement I had at the beginning of last year, but a quiet focus that I have to get a few basic things right for me. Yes, I said me. Not anyone else. I keep helping people live their own lives I forget to sort mine out. Well that has to stop for now. (I still wish everyone peace and love shah but don't call me LOL).

I hope I'm making sense.

I give this year over to God, totally and completely.
19 Responses
  1. Blessing Says:

    As she give this year to God, I pray that he surpasses your wildest dreams! *hug* HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

  2. Suru Says:

    Happy new year and yes you're making sense. I know what you mean with the whole quiet not cheerleader type optimism.

  3. I wish you a blessed 2011, Caramel! I read ALL your posts between yesterday and today, you totally rock out. Keep your head up, your spirit focused, and your faith blazing. I am now a loyal follower and shall do my best to comment as often as possible. From what I've read, you are a beautiful person inside and out and definitely deserve the best of what life has to offer. Rats, sounds like I'm just spouting cliches but you know what I mean. I do hope you keep your job and all goes well. Peace and love and yeah, totally look out for yourself this year. You've earned it. :)

  4. CaramelD Says:

    @ Blessing, thank you very much! Happy New Year to you too :)

    @Suru, Happy New Year to you too, glad to know that I'm making sense to someone! Sometimes I don't make sense to myself hahahahaha!

    @Lusciouscurves, I am very pleased to meet you! You made my day yesterday. Around nine in the morning my inbox started filling up with your comments from all my posts from three years ago and I knew you were slowly but surely making your way through all my posts! I was so chuffed because you gave me a chance to visit all my old posts through your eyes. I even gave you a shout out on Twitter! LOL!!!! Have a very happy new year!

  5. el bagucci Says:

    Lots of happenings.. But you kept your sanity... What is it they say about what doesn't kill you again?

  6. CaramelD Says:

    @DannyB, makes you stronger or drives you crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Happy New Year, Caramelly!

    2010 was rough for you; I remember reading all of that but I'm glad you got through it. Just a bit of hope is all you need...glad you have that. Wishing you all the best in 2011.

  8. SHE Says:

    I'm right by your side at the altar...handing the year over to God...

  9. Anonymous Says:

    I'm sorry to hear about your losses in 2010. I think you made the right choice for 2011. Happy New Year and God bless! xoxo

  10. CaramelD Says:

    @GNG, thank you my dear. I wish you all the best for 2011, so sorry to hear about your Aunty.

    @SHE, from your lips to God's ears.

    @Journeytoprint, Happy New Year to you too!!!!

  11. @Caramel: :D You ar emost welcome! Thank you o, I appreciate it. 2011 shall be greater than every year before it, can someone shout amen?! Chai I wish I used Twitter, I for check you there too. :P

  12. CaramelD Says:

    @ Lusciouscurves, Ameeeeeeeen!

  13. ~Sirius~ Says:

    The storm before the Calm.

    As long as you keep your hope alive (not necessarily rah rah rah cheer leading all over the place)your good news won't stay away from you for long.

    I pray an overwhelming 2011 for you in all aspects of your life.

  14. ManCee Says:

    dear friend *hugs*

  15. CaramelD Says:

    @Sirius, thank you my darling x

    @ Doll, Happy New Year to you too!

    @ Mancee, well stranger, where have you been? Happy New Year!

  16. Muse Says:

    It's good to rant...even better to give all over to God afterwards. Here's wishing you a beautiful 2011. Welcome to the GOOD year.

  17. BSNC Says:

    wow 2010 was rough for you. I wish you more smiles and joy in 2011, but this that you don't want anybody to call you. na wa oh lol.

    Well you need time for yourself so i get you.

    Awww thanks on you comment about my pishure lol. My head is swelling here oh.

  18. ManCee Says:

    No worry ma'am.

    E go beta...

    ...God pass them.