I'm a terrible employee.

I haven't done serious work today. I have been organising and sorting a few things but no serious creative work. I can't FOCUS! I nearly clapped my hands in glee when I realised that four of my favourite bloggers had posted new stuff. I could read and not have to work! I can't find my centre and I am terribly tired. I decided to drink a can of Red Bull but now I feel nauseous bleurgh!

I don't feel like I'm living. I feel like I'm treading water and passing time. A friend asked me yesterday what's new with me and I thought 'bloody hell not much'. I am running a mini marathon in May for Cancer Research but the excitement of a challenge was very short lived( I'm allergic to exercise so I should be a bit more worried, no?)

NOTHING EXCITES ME ANYMORE

I need my pillow, hairnet, and duvet in no particular order but since that won't be happening for while yet let me do like Maria and think of my favourite things before I fall into total self pity :)

1. Ribena. It's totally fabulous and versatile. You can make it normally, mix it with milk and make it hot water! Yum!

2. Finding the few Agatha Christie books that I haven't read yet. I can't get enough of that woman.

3. When you have been busy all day and haven't eaten and your tummy looks flat. Tres fabulous!

4. Kiddie hugs. Awwwwwww. My god daugther and her sister spent the day at mine yesterday (it's half term) and the stampede when I came back from work was lovely! I even had a picture drawn in my honour. Bless!

5. [MEN CLOSE YOUR EYES] Taking off my bra at the end of a long day. Women you know what I mean! Sheer bliss.

6. Dbanj's latest album. I don't have to skip one single track. I'm so proud. When Igwe comes on, I even look for a couple of white hankies so I can boogie Anambra stylee.

7. Four hour long IM conversations. I gave up my IM crown a long time ago but it has been dusted off and I'm in danger of re-crowning myself. It also helps when you flow so easily with the person you are chatting with.

8. Karaoke. No need to say anymore.

9. Comments on my posts. I can and did write for over a year before I started getting steady comments but there is joy in getting other points of view, and responses that make you see that yes, other people understand what you are blabbing about. Shout out to Phoenix, my most loyal reader xxx

10. Fresh weave! (BFF your life is under threat if you make a comment about my love of fake hair!)


PS What does it mean if someone says you didn't play in sand as a child?

PPS Abeg share your own favourite things. It's Friday, let's share the joy and cocoon me till I can go home!

I have to put my hand on my heart and say that I live for the most times a quiet life. There are times though when drama seems to find a way to my doorstep. What I am trying to teach myself as a young woman is to shape how I handle the drama in itself.

Over the past few days the two usual suspects whose alias are all up and down my blog decided to tag team me with drama inducing actions. Monday was the height with Baked Beans making a one month old entrance into my life to try and mess with my head.

I'm calm now, but I tell you I wasn't calm before. I wanted to shout and curse these two men that can get under my skin and tip my equilibrium. Then I thought about how I would write on my blog what happened and you blessed inhabitants of Blogsville would say 'don't mind them' and 'foolish men' and would stroke my hair and pat my back (don't worry Aloofar it's all virtual) and I would be assured.

But you see, it doesn't have to be that way at all! I don't have to give in totally to the negativity. It is in my power to direct how to deal with what life throws my way. So instead of bitching about the last couple of days. I'm going to dilute that crap and think about all the FABULOUS MEN in my life. Instead of moaning about a few individuals (who are confused idiots) I'm going to sing the praises of men :)

Family

Daddy first and foremost! Haha! We have issues but I love him die. He always is so proud of me and when I was little he would take me everywhere (my Mum called me 'his handbag'). When stupid people would say in front of me (not knowing that I could speak Igbo), what a shame that such a great man only has one girl, I would laugh because I knew to my Dad I was worth 10 boys. As an adult I can now respect his efforts in battling to teach me Igbo in a foreign country while growing up. Wow! I always drew battle lines. You can imagine how happy I am now to go into my church in the village and join in praying the rosary without batting an eyelid and that is all down to my Dad. PS Any small elegance and style you see in me, him also (my Mum won't argue that either !)

Uncles! Givers of pocket money and merchants of fun! Diluters of parental beefing and most loyal fan club members (even now I'm older they still are my cheering section), and let us not forget the countless rounds of picking me up from airports and ABC bus parks. My Uncles always have my back and because on both sides of the family, they were mainly younger than my parents, they were a bridge between us. PS they are also good at smuggling alcohol to you for a sip at grown up parties LOL.

Cousins! Defenders of my social life! Between 14-24, when we go to my hometown during Easter and Christmas if my Paternal Unit had had his way, Caramel no go see the gate of her house, but add these magic words:- "Daddy, X is going too and I'll be with him" then Eureka I was allowed! It always worked! Praise the Lord! Also as an only child being comfortable in someones home and not feeling like an extra wheel is something that money can't buy. I had two cousins in a nearby Federal School while I was in boarding too and they would write me letters regularly, before mobiles and emails...no small thing at all. My male cousins are worth their weight in PLATINUM!

Baby Bro! One and only. Because of him I now worry about what the world will be like in the future. I feel more responsible because I want to make sure the world is a safe and happy place for him. When I'm with him he keeps me on my toes intellectually because you have to think of convincing stories to get him to do things like the dreaded night bath! A hug from him has the power to turn your day sunny side up!

Friends

They are worth a post all by them selves. I really didn't have proper male friends till I was in university but they gave me a chance to be viewed through male eyes just as I was, not as a niece or daughter or cousin. They are the smallest group of men in my lives but that makes them just more precious. Actually thinking about it, they are less than 10. You can't add guys that liked you (sexually) or vice versa and it didn't work out because that is soooooo not the same and riddled with emotional land mines. I can pick their brain about the elusive male pysche and get honest answers and indulge in my secret nerd life that my female friends can't stand (Lord of the Rings/Captain Planet/Defenders of the Earth, anyone?) LOL!

Those that made me moonstruck! I think they actually need a post by themselves. For now let us give them props for making me giddy, for teaching me how to engage my naturally given feminine whiles, for ecstatic highs and depressing lows, making me learn how to sit up straight automatically and feeling like every single mushy song, whether happy or sad was written for me.

THE END...shebi? hahahaha NO!

Blogsville Men! You may be the minority but you all are a very powerful one! How colourless would the World Wide Web be without you all. I don't want to name names, but sometimes I read what you all write and I shake my head in wonder that you don't have laurels drapped around your neck. Your wit and astute humour kill me, your social commentaries make me think, your short fiction transports me to heavenly levels and the effect you have on us ladies is entertainment in itself (total so far:- one loved up couple making everyone mushy, one freshly ended blog site comment war, one heat inducing fantasy storyline and numerous crushes LOL)!!

Dedicated to two special men. Uncle Ike and my cousin Onyeka. We miss you and we love you. You both still mean the world to me. RIP

I'm home on a Monday and here is why.......


The view outside my window at 7am this morning.