I have to put my hand on my heart and say that I live for the most times a quiet life. There are times though when drama seems to find a way to my doorstep. What I am trying to teach myself as a young woman is to shape how I handle the drama in itself.
Over the past few days the two usual suspects whose alias are all up and down my blog decided to tag team me with drama inducing actions. Monday was the height with Baked Beans making a one month old entrance into my life to try and mess with my head.
I'm calm now, but I tell you I wasn't calm before. I wanted to shout and curse these two men that can get under my skin and tip my equilibrium. Then I thought about how I would write on my blog what happened and you blessed inhabitants of Blogsville would say 'don't mind them' and 'foolish men' and would stroke my hair and pat my back (don't worry Aloofar it's all virtual) and I would be assured.
But you see, it doesn't have to be that way at all! I don't have to give in totally to the negativity. It is in my power to direct how to deal with what life throws my way. So instead of bitching about the last couple of days. I'm going to dilute that crap and think about all the FABULOUS MEN in my life. Instead of moaning about a few individuals (who are confused idiots) I'm going to sing the praises of men :)
Family
Daddy first and foremost! Haha! We have issues but I love him die. He always is so proud of me and when I was little he would take me everywhere (my Mum called me 'his handbag'). When stupid people would say in front of me (not knowing that I could speak Igbo), what a shame that such a great man only has one girl, I would laugh because I knew to my Dad I was worth 10 boys. As an adult I can now respect his efforts in battling to teach me Igbo in a foreign country while growing up. Wow! I always drew battle lines. You can imagine how happy I am now to go into my church in the village and join in praying the rosary without batting an eyelid and that is all down to my Dad. PS Any small elegance and style you see in me, him also (my Mum won't argue that either !)
Uncles! Givers of pocket money and merchants of fun! Diluters of parental beefing and most loyal fan club members (even now I'm older they still are my cheering section), and let us not forget the countless rounds of picking me up from airports and ABC bus parks. My Uncles always have my back and because on both sides of the family, they were mainly younger than my parents, they were a bridge between us. PS they are also good at smuggling alcohol to you for a sip at grown up parties LOL.
Cousins! Defenders of my social life! Between 14-24, when we go to my hometown during Easter and Christmas if my Paternal Unit had had his way, Caramel no go see the gate of her house, but add these magic words:- "Daddy, X is going too and I'll be with him" then Eureka I was allowed! It always worked! Praise the Lord! Also as an only child being comfortable in someones home and not feeling like an extra wheel is something that money can't buy. I had two cousins in a nearby Federal School while I was in boarding too and they would write me letters regularly, before mobiles and emails...no small thing at all. My male cousins are worth their weight in PLATINUM!
Baby Bro! One and only. Because of him I now worry about what the world will be like in the future. I feel more responsible because I want to make sure the world is a safe and happy place for him. When I'm with him he keeps me on my toes intellectually because you have to think of convincing stories to get him to do things like the dreaded night bath! A hug from him has the power to turn your day sunny side up!
Friends
They are worth a post all by them selves. I really didn't have proper male friends till I was in university but they gave me a chance to be viewed through male eyes just as I was, not as a niece or daughter or cousin. They are the smallest group of men in my lives but that makes them just more precious. Actually thinking about it, they are less than 10. You can't add guys that liked you (sexually) or vice versa and it didn't work out because that is soooooo not the same and riddled with emotional land mines. I can pick their brain about the elusive male pysche and get honest answers and indulge in my secret nerd life that my female friends can't stand (Lord of the Rings/Captain Planet/Defenders of the Earth, anyone?) LOL!
Those that made me moonstruck! I think they actually need a post by themselves. For now let us give them props for making me giddy, for teaching me how to engage my naturally given feminine whiles, for ecstatic highs and depressing lows, making me learn how to sit up straight automatically and feeling like every single mushy song, whether happy or sad was written for me.
THE END...shebi? hahahaha NO!
Blogsville Men! You may be the minority but you all are a very powerful one! How colourless would the World Wide Web be without you all. I don't want to name names, but sometimes I read what you all write and I shake my head in wonder that you don't have laurels drapped around your neck. Your wit and astute humour kill me, your social commentaries make me think, your short fiction transports me to heavenly levels and the effect you have on us ladies is entertainment in itself (total so far:- one loved up couple making everyone mushy, one freshly ended blog site comment war, one heat inducing fantasy storyline and numerous crushes LOL)!!
Dedicated to two special men. Uncle Ike and my cousin Onyeka. We miss you and we love you. You both still mean the world to me. RIP
am I furst?
Awww this is so Cute men. Caramel you sre delightful. Unfortunately or fortunately if you will, I am currently hating Men powerfully. But I must admit your post thawed by frozen heart just a little.
CaramelD,
please stand up and take a bow. i guess if everyone wrote like this we'd have put facebook outta buisness by now.
LOL @ Temite and hating men currently.......
I see you diverted all your negative energy.......very good.
"I can pick their brain about the elusive male pysche and get honest answers and indulge in my secret nerd life that my female friends can't stand (Lord of the Rings/Captain Planet/Defenders of the Earth, anyone?) LOL!"
LOTR my foot! ha!- At least I know the Acronym...........he he.
Sweet Caramel...as my mum would say "Don't mind them!"- the baked beans should be rotten by now self.....mschew!
There's enough Love around you, you don't have time for them *getting under your skin male species.
Lovely one...makes value all the men in my life
@ Temite the Mighty! I am very happy to help towards your gradual thawing process. Remember there are non-screwy men in your life too :)
@My Freak the Geek!You know you dey for that roll call :) Even though you are a big man at work now, don't stop blogging oh? Or I shall cry! Ps Why are you still hating on facebook? Facebook can't replace Blogger and vice versa! They are like carrots and biscuits!
@Sirus, your own inner geek lies in different directions but you can be just as bad too !! I am trying not to let him get me but I don't appreciate trying to mess with my mind and make me doubt myself grrrrr!
@Rita, value them oh! The good ones are rare and hardly celebrated!
I like the way you write
Nice blog.
and interesting to know you have men in you rlife, you value and I love what you wrote about your dad
Beautifully said! We need to acknowledge the men that mean the world to us. Think about the good, not the bad!
So inspiring 'cuz it's my dad's birthday soon!
Much love to the good ones! x!
Really nice post. You write plainly and beautifully. I was at your blog yesterday for the first time but I couldn't comment so I'm doing so now.
Yes I agree with you - "let's hear it for the men!"
Lovely blog!
Nice Post. Seems you got all the nice uncles and boy cousins.
I sway to Temite's side on the issue of men. Dont know about the thawing part though.
awwwww this was really sweet! men..what the hell wud we do without them, huh???? i shudder at the thought of a world without men!
"one loved up couple making everyone mushy, one freshly ended blog site comment war"..i see im somehow involved in this post(i think)..lol!
so sorry bout the loss of ur uncles..
u got me thinking! guess when i start hating on men, which is very very often, i should think about the great ones in my life......
First of all Caramel, comment moderation sucks!
And thanks for the shout out to us men. Most of the time all we get it "men are xyz", where the entity 'xyz' is a scandalous bit of profanity. LOL.
I left you a message.
p.s Did I mention that comment moderation sucks? Because it really does...lol
Men!!!!!!!!!!
Some we love to death
some we can do without
that's the way it is
i dare say-i raise a glass to the great men in our lives(even the virtual ones)
awww... i love to be at odds with men.. but 3 u cant ever stop me from loving.. not even death.. mi padre et mes freres!...lovely post!
How cute.. It must be fun to be an only child.
Now I am counting how many male friends I have actually had, by you definition. Hopefully, I'll think of one before I give up.
Nice gesture, with the whole positivity thing.
Well i am giving it up for the good men! Don't mind the annoying ones!
@Olufunke, thank you very much! Come back again soon.
@Bob-IJ, happy birthday to your Dad.
@Enkay, thank you, me thinks that I am blushing ;)I justtryto say what I'm thinking about and get my thoughts in order.
@She, LOL you can only thaw when you are ready. I'm just saying to paint the good ones with the same brush.
@Buttercup, Ehen you know yourself! Start confessing LOL!
@Funms, that is all I ask of you :)
@Doug, BFF! Comment moderation is here to stay oh, when I first started blogging all those many moons ago, I got spammed like crazy. It was not funny! We have to give a shout out to the good guys so they keep repping.
@Ibiluv, I shall join in the toast.
@Zara, shout out to the men in your family.
@Sleek, it wasn't fun oh! I wouldn't be an only child by choice!
@Writefreak, mschewwwwwwwww to the annonying ones for real! No one needs that kind of confusion.
CaramelD...wow! need i say more?
lol! how r u anywayz??
put those two men aside jare...kick them to curb even...i like how you redirected this into something positive...it shows growth hun...there is definitely a strength to your character
@ Muse, Danke, Thank you, Merci!
@Buttercup! I'm OK jare trying to keep body, soul and bank account together. Thanks for asking :)
@ Shubby!! I have kicked them to the curb with my four inch suede knee highs! Thanks for the compliments :)
Mehn, tell me I haven't been doing well stroking and patting you ;)
RE: so you have a feeling that there is a massive body of water under the frozen lake of "that" blog post? I guess I need to give you my password do you can finish the post ;)
Yes to your question. I'm expecting my cake!!!
That guy in the pic looks like tanzanian!!! lol
This is sweet girl...hmmmm maybe thinking this way will help me be nicer to the fools...
@ Aloofar, Oga please we seem to be at cross purposes regarding the cake! Please check your blog!
@Afrobabe, step away from the Tanzanians!!! Wetin do you! LOL!!
lmao....the boy fine oh.....and so caring...plus he did all the cooking and washing up...sob sob...
Sorry Afro dearie that is life, you finally find a guy who doesn't break out in rashes at the sight of the kitchen and it turns out that he is being monitored by Scotland Yard! Chai! C'est la vie.......