I'm just going to say this real quick so forgive me if I make mistakes. What I am about to go on about happened a while back but a girl I know is going through something similar right now and it annoyed me all over again so I know it is still irratating me.
In any kind of relationship don't just disappear into the air. Whether it is deep relationship, friendship, sex buddy. Whatever!! Don't just stop calling, emailing or texting or whatever the hell form of communication you were using to talk to someone! That is just not on! That is rude and hurtful! If you ever feel like doing it, come back to this post and hear me shouting in a loud voice!
IT'S A COWARDLY WAY OUT.
If things are getting too much for you, if you have problems pulling you away, if you don't want to talk to that person again, you can say "Look it's all a bit much at the moment, I need to stop things etc etc." No matter how the person may not like it, it will be better than dead air, you ignoring their calls or not replying their emails. The person will now be wondering "Errrrr what happened/ what did I do?"
A friend did this to me. First I thought he was sick or something and called twice. Two times he replied with, "I promise to call you back and explain." Nothing. Then I sent a message on FB. Again dead air. Yet at the same time, I could see him chatting with other people on his page! Haba! See stress! I was baffled, then hurt, then very angry! After more air, I deleted him off FB. I couldn't comprehend what I had done to warrant such behaviour and from someone I thought was important.
Last story. I fell for this guy big time. He was my prototype, the idea of what my perfect guy could be. It wasn't him though and we both knew that. Yet when he decided to cool things down, how he did it was to bring to a sharp halt the calls and emails and chats and then move to random phrases under my FB pictures like some old school friend from primary school! Dude please! After cavier you are downgrading me to chips? I don't think so! I am not your hi/hello friend. In my humble opinion, I would have preferred a phone call explaining your thought processes. No one here is a child. I think we all deserve some kind of heads up!
I can say this with full authority because I have been on both sides. I had to tell a guy that I didn't feel the way he did, and I was dreading it! I felt sick to my stomach because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It would have been very easy to just ignore his calls and emails and give him dead air but I called and we had a long (and excrutiating) phone call. He can never say he doesn't know how things stand, that way you don't have to spend time scratching your head.
ALLOW PEOPLE HAVE CLOSURE SO THAT THEY CAN MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!
This rant does not apply to stalker/pyscho types who you have had a conversation with and they are now staking out the dumpster outside your flat looking through your trash. No! This is for normal sane folks.
If you have any thoughts please share them with me, I would love to hear what you think!
OK rant over.
In any kind of relationship don't just disappear into the air. Whether it is deep relationship, friendship, sex buddy. Whatever!! Don't just stop calling, emailing or texting or whatever the hell form of communication you were using to talk to someone! That is just not on! That is rude and hurtful! If you ever feel like doing it, come back to this post and hear me shouting in a loud voice!
IT'S A COWARDLY WAY OUT.
If things are getting too much for you, if you have problems pulling you away, if you don't want to talk to that person again, you can say "Look it's all a bit much at the moment, I need to stop things etc etc." No matter how the person may not like it, it will be better than dead air, you ignoring their calls or not replying their emails. The person will now be wondering "Errrrr what happened/ what did I do?"
A friend did this to me. First I thought he was sick or something and called twice. Two times he replied with, "I promise to call you back and explain." Nothing. Then I sent a message on FB. Again dead air. Yet at the same time, I could see him chatting with other people on his page! Haba! See stress! I was baffled, then hurt, then very angry! After more air, I deleted him off FB. I couldn't comprehend what I had done to warrant such behaviour and from someone I thought was important.
Last story. I fell for this guy big time. He was my prototype, the idea of what my perfect guy could be. It wasn't him though and we both knew that. Yet when he decided to cool things down, how he did it was to bring to a sharp halt the calls and emails and chats and then move to random phrases under my FB pictures like some old school friend from primary school! Dude please! After cavier you are downgrading me to chips? I don't think so! I am not your hi/hello friend. In my humble opinion, I would have preferred a phone call explaining your thought processes. No one here is a child. I think we all deserve some kind of heads up!
I can say this with full authority because I have been on both sides. I had to tell a guy that I didn't feel the way he did, and I was dreading it! I felt sick to my stomach because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It would have been very easy to just ignore his calls and emails and give him dead air but I called and we had a long (and excrutiating) phone call. He can never say he doesn't know how things stand, that way you don't have to spend time scratching your head.
ALLOW PEOPLE HAVE CLOSURE SO THAT THEY CAN MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!
This rant does not apply to stalker/pyscho types who you have had a conversation with and they are now staking out the dumpster outside your flat looking through your trash. No! This is for normal sane folks.
If you have any thoughts please share them with me, I would love to hear what you think!
OK rant over.
