I've been dodging this post, I won't lie. I'm such a chicken :)

We met at the end of July at a work thing. It was a community fair and I was representing my college and he was representing his organisation. I was feeling really unwell with with what would turn out to be laryngitis and was just waiting for my back up to arrive so I could go home and rest. I didn't understand why this guy was hovering around our stand, even though he picked up an info pack. I actually thought he wanted to hit on my student hahahaha!

Anywhos, we got talking and the conversation was flowing so easily. He works in the medical field and could tell by my cough that all was not well, so we didn't talk long. We exchanged phone numbers and I made way home.

For the next week as my condition got worse and I was home off sick, we used to talk and text (lost my voice), at least three times a day. I found out we had loads in common, he was went to the boys school next door to mine and he had grown up in the East. He was shocked because he didn't think I was Nigerian, much less Igbo and then triple shocked that I could speak Igbo (I love when people underestimate that).

After house arrest was over, we went on a lunch date and a stroll in the park. He was on it and I loved the attention. (It's been a while since I had a decent type of male attention). We talked about Nigeria, families, movies, music, work, the lot.  Even with the random British rain attack while in the park, it was a good day.

We met up a few times over the next couple weeks and it was all gravy, funny and cool. But very soon, sex came up. Two weeks I think. I don't want to go into too much detail because my blog is not amebo proof (hehehe). The long and short of it is that over two weeks we kept arguing about me not wanting to have sex with him and the more we 'discussed' it, the more turned off him I became. According to him, I was the FIRST girl he had dated who hadn't jumped into the sack with him straight away and he felt that I was rejecting him in a sense. I stood my ground and gave my points and we laid it to rest.

The weird thing is, even though things were cool. It had dented my impression of him. The question mark was there flavoured with a hint of disappointment as well. The butterflies were also well and truly gone and I was searching for them the way our Mothers used to look for their slippers with a torch light when NEPA took the light. But we were steadily going about our business. He took me to the Dbanj concert and we still talked but he had stopped telling me when he was free and stuff like that, as he didn't want to 'assume' anything. *eye roll*.

Roll on to my birthday. We went out the weekend before my actual birthday and he met all my friends and we were dancing and having a good time. He went all territorial which I noticed he does in public, to mark me as his woman etc etc. We met on Wednesday and went to the movies and we spoke about me being angry that I had to work on my birthday weekend as no one could cover me for a work event that he was also attending. With all that gist and also adding to the fact that he is on my BBM and Facebook, how could he FORGET MY BIRTHDAY!

The whole day passed and went and not a peep. I called  and asked him and he said 'Oh isn't it next weekend?'. Gosh! I was weak. The killer for me was when I saw him at the event on Sunday where we were working, he still didn't apologize, or anything! Not even Happy Freaking Birthday! I was fuming and just went cold because all sorts of crazy stuff was going wrong with our equipment and staff, so had to keep it professional.

All in all, I'm sad because I can't even see the guy I liked in the first place only a month and half ago! It's all gone pear shaped and so quickly as well. I can't see any attention or care and that for me is so so so very important. Unfortunately I can't help but think a lot of stuff started going wonky after the sex talk. I told him if the situation was not right for him he should bounce (no hard feelings). The birthday thing was really hurtful. Was he scared that I would need a big gift or something? I'm not even like that and have never been.  We are meeting on Sunday for 'a talk'. So there we go. My dish has gone cold. The question is whether to return or try and re-heat.

15 Responses
  1. Myne Whitman Says: heart floated and sank as I read. Unless he was distracted by something serious, and which he should be willing to share with your, I don't know why he would overlook your birthday. Even just friends would say hi on FB on that day.

    Oh well, hope the talk goes well. he sounds great otherwise.

  2. aloted Says:

    hmm it seems he was about the s*x and since you both were not on the same page on this topic he started acting up..

    chei this can be very painful. ndo

    i think u deserve someone who will respect your values and who also has the same values with u. hopefully he will come around if not to the left to the left...

    how did the talk go?

  3. CaramelD Says:

    @Myne, We shall see. Not really sure what is going on in his head at the moment.

    @Aloted, the talk is this Sunday coming. From there I will now know which direction to go.

  4. caeblogs Says:

    You know what i think already! Don't lose sleep over him if he's being an arse. Yes, he's a nice guy but if he is not floating your boat, he is not floating your boat. Nothing wrong with that. The birthday avoidance thing was too weird. Big hugs babe!

  5. ~Sirius~ Says:

    Screaming ON TO THE NEXT!
    A big no no! Had all the energy to hound you for sex but couldn't remeber your birthday AND didn't apologise or explain.


    It's too early to be "managing"

  6. leggy Says:

    when a man shows you who he is, believe him.

    nne please move on.

  7. Toinlicious Says:

    @Sirius, that is all. He should keep it moving...away from you

    Leggy is a girl after my heart.

    SO how did the talk go?

  8. aeedeeaee Says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. aeedeeaee Says:

    Biko, the bloke was a great interlude. He ain't worth diddly-squat.

    The cheek!

    Pardon my spanglish but you deserve a shitload more. So, my honest take on this matter is: Move past the microwave and on to the trash can.


  10. Sugarking Says:

    *My Opinion*

    Men want sex. Its how we're built. But as long as he respects your reasons for not indulging, that's fine. If sex is all he wants then you have to make a decision on that one.

    About forgetting your birthday? I'd say crucify him, but I'd also suggest you hear him out first. Ask direct questions, and make sure you get direct answers. You should be able to make up your mind afterwards.

  11. Ginger Says:

    And I was soo excited about your dish!
    I would go with Sirius shaa. To move on.

  12. SHE Says:

    I’m sure by now you’ve had ‘the talk’.
    Otherwise I would have advised that you give him a slim benefit of doubt. Just a slim one.
    Perhaps there is a logical explanation for the sudden amnesia, and it was totally unrelated to the sex talk?

  13. Not worth it. Like I always tell girls I know: when a guy likes you, you wont need to wonder if he does.

    Interesting blog. Very real

  14. CaramelD Says:

    Thank you everyone for your comments, you guys are better than the UN! Balanced views from both sides. As I have so much to say, I thought I better just write a continuing post, so I came to take permission for not replying here :)

  15. ibiluv Says:

    i dont know why people..especially men dont get it

    if you would make a fuss about my birthday

    a call..a text works

    silence is just so unkind....