As an old gateman I knew would say, "what da hell is wrong with me mehn?".
All this talk about housing issues and all the crap going on I forgot to write something exicting..I have bought my ticket! Oh yeah, Caramel Delight is of to Naija! Whoooooooop!
My friend with the speedy courtship is getting married and I'm off. I have been so caught up about the fact that her cousin bought a bridesmaid dress that is too small for me (mscheeeeewwww) and will need some kind of magician tailor and the fact that I had to rob a bank to pay for my last minute ticket that I forget to revel in the fact that I am on holiday for two weeks in the sunshine and will have access to roast plantain and suya and if my Dad can manage it I will get to see him and my brother as I'm up north.
[Scene One]
A young fine voluptuous black woman walks in Heathrow airport with a full trolley that has a dodgy wheel. She walks to the airport desk and checks in. With her boarding pass in hand she dazzles the airline staff with her 100 watt smile, says thank you and walks away with her hand luggage and handbag.
She walks into the food court, brings out a small CD player, places in the middle of the room and presses play as provocative cabaret music starts to play. Our young dazzling heroine then proceeds to slowly peel off the gloves, scarf, coat, jumper, t-shirt, tights and wool trousers till all that remains is a one piece Ankara bathing suit.
[Que airport security]
OK fine I won't do it but I feel like it :)
16 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    lol.i want to go to naija too, and those your plantain pictures look so good.oh God!!i need to go home!!!
    you robbed a bank?!!
    so you are that nigerian girl that they are looking for on CNN?!!!

  2. ~Sirius~ Says:

    "A young fine voluptuous black woman"
    Some how that seems wrong- beat me.
    You're so darn light skinned that putting the word black doesn't seem right.

    Enjoy the sunshine! I wish we could work some magic.

    PS: I see the spirit of being a bridesmaid lives within you.

  3. CaramelD Says:

    Hey Leggy the way I feel after work today I wish I had robbed a bank! Na wa oh! PS I love that plantain picture too, reminds me of the lady near my office during NYSC. Her plantain would hold us during the 3 hour Lekki traffic.

    Sirius! Mind yourself jo! I'm still a black woman even though my Italian friend is darker than me LOL. I'm proud to be part of my friend's big day but I'll be damned if I'm looking like a hooker with my boobs pouring out of a tight dress in church!

  4. Anonymous Says:

    LOL. I dont think you have the chops to do a strip tease in the airport. Nigeria will disown you.

  5. Myne Whitman Says:

    LOL@ the airport scenario. Will look for your to contribute to our story, hope you've voted.

    Nice pic ooo, I'm now salivating for Boli.

  6. Nice Anon Says:

    Safe journey and have lots of fun. eat plenty nkwobi and isi ewu.

  7. mizchif Says:

    I'm so jealous of every single person that gets to be in naij this keresimesi, so so jealous!

    Ok, i will grudginly say have fun!!!

  8. TinTin Says:

    JEALOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! i want to go to naija to!!
    this canada is not it at all!!
    miss you guys ohh!! need to catch up!

  9. TayneMent Says:

    @Mizchif I am with you oh. Even though we were there this summer, I am still hella jealous. Have fun missy and eat all you can!

  10. Enkay Says:

    hahahaha! yeah! One piece ankara bathing suit! Go girl!

    I really feel you o jare. Come and enjoy the pleasant sunshine this side of the hemisphere. And hot, sumptuous boli with roast fish...hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

  11. akaBagucci Says:

    just ensure you record the Kodak (abi na Sony) moment at Heathrow sha o...

  12. Oh my that pic got my mouth watering for boli. I know you'll have a blast in enjoy it!

    lol at your little dream sequence there. Let us know if we have to gather funds to bail you out ok?

    Enjoy Naija for all of us!

  13. come on, you have GOT to wear the bathing suit in the airport. I dey beg!!!!!


  14. CaramelD Says:

    @ Lucidlilith, by the time my nearest and dearest were done with me there would be nothing of me left for Naija to disown!

    @ Myne, something tells me I am behind on your blog! What's happening? I wanna play too ;)

    @ Nice anon, if I eat all that I won't fit into any of my clothes oh.

    @ Mizchif, will it help if I say I'm not going for Christmas? I'll be back sharpish at the beginning of the month.

    @ TinTin, is that you? Hey I had to rub my eyes and check that I saw the name right. Long time! How body?

    @ Enkay, if you prepare fish for me then I will turn up to your house in my one piece ankara bathing suit :)

    @ Taynement, I will definately try and amp up my fun ratings.

  15. CaramelD Says:

    @ DannyB, I wouldn't need to record it if it happened as the BBC would be there to capture the whole thing!

    @ Harry, don't we all!

    @ GNG, I like the way you think, you were the only one who thought of what would happen after the police would come and carry me.

    @ Solomonsydelle, I think you are trying to get me into trouble LOL