My Dad is calling 'family meeting' in Friday. My response to my Mum telling me this is 'what did I do now?'

Of the past three years the equation is: FAMILY MEETING = FAT & UNMARRIED CARAMEL

This is the burden of my individual family situation. My Dad likes to flex paternal muscles everytime he is around and I'm so over it. I'm stressed at work and like my home to be a refuge. Family meeting my bum!

I'm too old for this crap! I would have moved from my house if not that I am sending all my spare money home to help finish my parents home. Once that house is finished, I'm asking for a raise and moving out.

I'm done, it's enough.

• Primarily as a body wrap and modesty protector. It could be a skirt (lower part of your body), halter dress (tie it around your neck) or dressing gown (across your chest but be careful as it might make your boobs saggy).


• It is a baby sling par excellence! How many mothers/baby carers will testify to this? For all of you that didn't know, your baby is soothed by your heartbeat from the back of your torso, while leaving your hands free to do the other million things women have to do.


• It's a mini blanket when the weather is too hot for normal bed linens.


• It can be a towel (true talk, I went to boarding school and saw with my two eyes).


• Also when rolled up it can be used as a protector when carrying stuff on your head!

OK check it, how many points? 5!! Serious practical uses, now let us analyse Afro's claim of it's sexiness. Now please men feel free to contradict me but I personally know guys that have a weird freaky wrapper thing including an ex of mine. Every time he saw me in one he just had to pull it! He couldn't help himself. Other friends have mentioned the same freaky wrapper thing to me also. Maybe for guys it's the knowledge that one pull will reveal something! LOL! Like an adult version of Tales by Moonlight hehehehehe. Finally I have never seen a traditional bride more beautiful than with this current fashion of wearing wrapper only over her chest (old school style) and beads.

Last but not least, Nollywood would be lost without a wrapper or two thrown into every other scene. Fabulous! I rest my case!

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In other news, another bridesmaid came to my rescue when she said that not only did she have that dress already for another wedding earlier in the year but that it was bought in America for less than 1/2 the price of the London cost! Praise be to God in heaven!! So now one of the bride's cousins is doing research! Please join me in thanking God oh!

I have been a witness to real e-love while my friend has been in London. Her and her Oga are missing each other seriously oh! There is no technological gadget that has not been used to keep in touch. Phone calls, IM, texts, mobile IM's, picture messaging, Google Earth! I tell you all that is left is Twitter LOL! It's romance in the 21st century. It's the sweetest and the nerdiest thing ever!

I channeled my inner Bree from Desperate Housewives and cleaned my house from top to bottom. Especially my room. There are too many nooks and corners for things to disappear. I even found my birth certificate and I didn't know it was even missing! Chai! All that cleaning must have burnt calories (Lord knows it wasn't anything else) as I am feeling quite Caramelicious ;)

See as God is my witness, I have so many things to say but my brain won't get into first gear.

I love being part of this Nigerian community but the awards have me scared! I went to vote so that I can be supportive of the hard work the girls have put in and I felt a bit faint LOL! I would love to win something (really who wouldn't??) but after seeing that roll call of FABULOUS bloggers, I quietly voted and went to go and eat my garri and oha soup....

Category A is deep! No chance for Caramel's bum to see space. If you see anything that reminds you of me in Category B, then God bless you! Yes this is me campaigning (my Mum said nothing ventured, nothing gained).

In other news....

My Dad is here for his post op check up, the TV and I had a teary farewell. We won't see each other for a long time, while my Dad is here.

I'm in charge of a kick ass project at work and I am so stressed that there is grey hair in my weave. I just have to survive today till end of Sunday and I can breathe a bit better.

I keep getting an email from Diamond Bank to verify a cheque by giving them my account number!!! O gini??? In my whole time at home for NYSC I never used one tiny toe to enter Diamond Bank! I find it very offensive when fellow Nigerians try to 419 me! I'm not white!!

I recently had a whole week of not thinking about Baked Beans! Fabulous! I think I'm getting better! Do the shuffle!

For anyone who watches MTV Base, I met Trevor Nelson today! Woo hoo! I was very professional while giggling on the inside! He is an alumni of my college and came to shoot a promo video for our new campus.

I was a bit worried that I had lost my inner goddess so I glamed up a bit and tried to remember how to smile at a man (so out of practice because I currently avoid them like the plague) flashed a look at a gentleman and he nearly walked into a bathroom door hehehehe!

UPDATE

Last night I woke up randomly at 5am and then went back to bed again and had the most intense dream. I dreamt that my family went out and I stayed at home, so when they came back they handed over a child to me to bathe and I thought 'hang on, my brother is way bigger than this!' Then I realised he was my child! When I put him to bed I lay on my side looking at him and grumbled (good naturedly) that I can't see anything of myself in him, only that he is fair and thank God that his father's family are good looking if not there would have been trouble. In the dream, while on the bed all I could see was a close up of his face, but he was so beautiful down to his eyelashes. Also in the dream I knew I loved him! Could feel it so strongly. I don't know where that dream came from, kids are the LAST thing on my mind at this moment and I'm more used to babysitting girls than boys but WOW! That was my baby, I just KNOW IT. I was spooked when I woke up, let me tell you. I had to write this down so I don't forget.

PS At work today trying to set up for an exhibition over the weekend, I was so stressed I kept muttering, I want a biscuit, I want a biscuit! Wetin do me? That's why Lent is so important. It shows us how much care we put in things of the world instead of leaning on spiritual help. Whether food, alcohol, or bad habits. It's time to focus on what counts, no biscuits!

You don't have to vote for me (ahem, ahem) but make sure you do vote at the awards, it will be fun!