My Dad is calling 'family meeting' in Friday. My response to my Mum telling me this is 'what did I do now?'

Of the past three years the equation is: FAMILY MEETING = FAT & UNMARRIED CARAMEL

This is the burden of my individual family situation. My Dad likes to flex paternal muscles everytime he is around and I'm so over it. I'm stressed at work and like my home to be a refuge. Family meeting my bum!

I'm too old for this crap! I would have moved from my house if not that I am sending all my spare money home to help finish my parents home. Once that house is finished, I'm asking for a raise and moving out.

I'm done, it's enough.
33 Responses

  1. Afrobabe Says:

    moderation...darnnn...ok, The title looked like a rant...lemme go and read so I know who we need to beat up...

  2. Afrobabe Says:

    Family meetingsss...That is the part O most dread about going back home!!!!

    Too bad we cant beat up popcy....

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I feel your pain, well not about the marriage thing, but about the family meetings, either grin and bear it or take drastic measures, (i.e. move out, or inform them you will not be present) I often opt for the latter, drastic measures often prove a point. You simply cannot put a price or time on prospective future partners. Love your blog by the way, had to send your tips on "How to survive at the Nigerian Embassy" to a few friends of mine!

  4. JustDB Says:

    hey... take it easy...key is to realize that both your intentions are identical... its just the details of the execution that are different..Maybe some proactive engagement - letting them know where you are on stuff will help keep them off your for me -- but then maybe its cos i'm a guy.... hate to come across as 'shrinking' you.. sorry if it sound like that!

  5. Sting Says:

    Pele my sister. Take it easy.

  6. bumight Says:

    hey, dont stress out. i cant really say much cos everybody's situation is different. if it was me, they already know i wont show up and if i did, i wont say anything. I'm sure they do it cos they love you!


  7. Temite Says:

    peleeeeee darling. pele. But yer, you dont have to show up! Remember its your life and even parents must respect their children. I dont want to be like, yell at your parents, but its just a bit disrespectful. But thats just me. I mean u arent a child. But well, be firm but kind. There needs to be boundaries.

  8. Phoenix Says:

    First time here, parents and their wahala, we cant live with them and cant live without them.



    Pele, take it easy...try and let them know you have things going on and the meetings add stress. We know they mean well...

  10. ~Sirius~ Says:

    O oh....Not liking the sound of this. *Sigh There's never enough practice to get you through these situations

  11. ~Sirius~ Says:

    Take it easy, and pray hard that mother nature kicks in at the appointed time. Be easy girl

  12. ~Sirius~ Says:

    I have found you worthy enough of a MeMe- you are hereby harassed into this by accepting the Scrap Honest Award, or is it Honest Scrap Award.

  13. Buttercup Says:

    Aww sweetie..

    Who knows, this particular family meeting MIGHT not be about u..

    And if it is..

    Just hold ur own if u attend the meeting. It's not ur fault u don't have a ring on ur finger..u shud make them realize that..


  14. BSNC Says:

    lol @ My Dad likes to flex paternal muscles everytime he is around and FAMILY MEETING = FAT & UNMARRIED CARAMEL.. dont worry you ll be okay. everything will soon fall into place...

  15. SHE Says:

    Its one of those things one has to bear as a young woman i guess.
    Relax, don't let the pressure get to you.

  16. Muse Says:

    sorry babe. your position's not enviable.

  17. CaramelD Says:

    @ Afro, thanks for offering shah!

    @Anon, thanks for the compliment and glad to hear you like my posts:)

    @Danny, as my haze of anger cleared, I realise dthat you were being comforting but I can't break down your plenty English x

    @Sting, thank you oh. I am breathing better.

    @Bumight, I hear you, but what burns is that I have spent my whole life towing the line and still get grief! Haba! I shall run away with a white man and then we will have cause for family meeting!

    @Temi the Mighty, I have to start building them fast fast!

    @Phoenix, it's called African Child Guilt Syndrome.

    @Sirus, nne thanks. This one you are memeing me, who has strength? LOL!

    @Buttercup, you are right it might not be. We shall see. I will definately write about what it was for (if I ahven't run away with aforementioned white man by then).

    @BSNC, hmm OK I will try and believe.

    @SHE,I am doing deep breathing oh

    @Muse, at all at all!

  18. bob-ij Says:

    I know babe! I don't like that family meeting stuff...unless we're going out to have fun!...But the worst one is conference call family meeting because that means it's a big deal!...

    It's so sweet that you're finishing their house...Hang in there!


  19. Fashinga Says:

    Hmmmmm...You sound stressed..

    Well, who knows? This particular family meeting may not be about may be something different..

    Just dont worry...Calm down evrything will be fine..Dont be in such a haste to get rid of Pops and Moms..Lol!!

  20. Chari Says:

    pele dear....youll just have to weather this one out to...youll be fine....

  21. doug Says:

    I'm going to have to agree with you there. Noone should be pressured into getting married, and frankly you are too old for this crap. I hope that came out right.

    Take it easy. Just come up with a plan, pray, and watch things play out magically for you. You deserve it anyway...

  22. Buttercup Says:

    hey sweets..what went down at the meeting? u ok???

  23. Ms. SpicyTee Says:

    Don't worry this meeting won't be about FAT & UNMARRIED CARAMEL..LOL
    Calm down sis...All is well. Don't let anyone rush into anything cos they won't be there if there is problem... First time on ur blog..Will be back for more caramel

  24. Ms. SpicyTee Says:

    Eh ya..So touching..
    Don't worry this won't be about Fat & Unmarried
    Be strong and don't let anyone rush you into anything...
    My first time here..will be back for more caramel delight..Cheers

  25. Shubby Doo Says:

    Sweetie it is ok. I've been thru this type of thing and the best way to address it is not thru aggression or bitterness. I've done this and it didn't work

    Your parents love u and want the best for u but that doesn't mean that u should roll over whenever they flex. I've done this and it didn't work too

    Life is about your choices, about who u choose to become and don't let anybody's negativity corrupt that.

    It took me a long time to realise that it is not about feeling guilty or thinking that I might be dis-obeying them...when I realised that my parents used one family meeting to demoralise me and paralysed me into inaction, I was more than just upset. It took me months to get my head right and once I decided that the best thing for me was a change our parent-child relationship I've been ok. All it was is I just realised that they are a major part of who I am so they need to trust that they have done a good job raising me right.

    It has not been easy at all for them to adjust so these days I keep them in the know (but not necessarily in the loop), get their advice (which is not law) and make my I go about doing stuff is totally me and as long as that doesn't disrespect them I don't see the problem. I guess the fact that I don't live at home helped.

    It has taken time for them to agree that they can't say they disagree with my choices they just wish I had allowed them to make them for me. I'm like 'Not happening'

    I feel u on the marriage thing. At my age I feel it too. It is well dear. God's time is best and he has planned a time for us too. Claim it and be patient.

  26. Smaragd Says:

    HEY Sweets! how did the meeting go? sorry i'm late, we dont have such meetings "yet" in my family, my parents are dropping hints already which i flat out refuse to listen to!

    how r u bootylicious (not FAT) CaramelD?

  27. RocNaija Says:

    So.. go on then.. gist us... How'd it go??

    You know you want to..

  28. Enkay Says:

    Sorry I'm late too....did you attend?
    How did it go?

    No vex too much u hia?

  29. ibiluv Says:

    its sweet of u to help 'em out....

    dont let them get to you cos in a weird way-all d crazy ish parents is cos they love us.....

  30. CaramelD Says:

    I'm going to update soon I promise!

    @Bob-Ij, you blew me away with the conference calls. That's deep. Who speaks first?

    @Fashinga, I was stressed, don't want to get rid of them oh, but can't I do love from a distance?

    @Chari, thanks oh, feeling the warmth :)

    @Doug, I followed your plan...

    @ButterC, I will write it all out, just that work no fit allow person think.

    @Spicy Tee, thank you for your concern, don't be a stranger!

    @Shubby, once again thank you. I will post my link of the Naija High Commission terror on your post LOL.

    @Smaragd, after an inventory I am happy to report that my booty is still very delicious LOL!

    @ The Roc, I will gist you very soon.

    @Enkay, I no dey vex too much again, but I will still move out as soon as possible.

    @Ibiluv, I know they love me but my Dad doesn't understand me. I thank God for them oh, but I feel taken for granted a little bit. Your post had me in stiches :)

  31. Uchenna Says:

    lol, funny thing is am going through the same thing, how about having a family meeting because I woke up late (8am).

    anywyas they let it get to u, at this stage and point in their lives, they have very little to do.

  32. exschoolnerd Says:

    calm down dear..i i pray it all goes well!

    sha let us know how it went