I wish I could express the way I felt when I read all the lovely comments you left for me on my last post. It was like having a cold void in the pit of your stomach and having it slowly fill up with a warm fuzzy glow of happiness. Like a good movie, hot tea, good book and kissing all rolled into one :)

I felt so sad but unlike before I really didn't want to quit. Also I normally would just not talk about it but I want my blog to be an honest reflection of my life and what matters to me. So even though there are bigger things in the world, right at this point losing weight matters to me and I was sad but you made me feel better, so much better. Like little shards of light banishing the dark aura around me.

I normally answer my comments one by one but work has been maaaaaaaaaddddd intense this past week culminating in a friend's wedding yesterday which I was involved in so I am a bit sleepy from lack of sleep and hay fever medicine.

Big thank you to my lovely ladies. Thank you for the advice, the humour and the comforting words of support. I have now seen all the ways 'hugs' can be portrayed on a computer hahaha. I felt like you knew what I was going through or could understand the frustration, so My World, Sirus, Mizchif, Temite, Afrobabe, Phoenix, She, ButterC, Bibi, BSNC, Shubby Doo, Writefreak, Lil Woman, Miss Spicy Tee and Enkay I'm grateful.

I had serious giggles with the male opinions as they sought to offer help in their own special way....
ManCee: I do believe this is your first time on my blog and yet what an entrance! Thank you for your assurance that you would still love no matter my size and in ans to your question I don't have any thing 'caramely' LOL. I'm sweet enough.

Freaksho: You made me feel like I was in the Principal's office and like I was a princess all at the same time.

Roc: You watch Living Channel? Really? hahaha

DannyB: Only you, only you would ask me to check the measurement error of my scale! That is a classic Danny B thing to say. I was laughing solo in my office they thought I was nuts.

Anyway I don't want to go on only about weight (boring!), I just wanted to say thank you for caring.

Signed
Caramel Delight

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Other News

I tied headscarf on my head by myself for the first time ever!!!! This is big!!! This is huge!!!! I have done for people but with me I need assistance but there is no one at home and I was desperate so I just kept trying. When it stayed on my head and looked decent I felt like calling the BBC. I feel like I have passed a module in how to be a Nigerian woman 101. LOL.

Mum has bounced to Nigeria for five weeks, so home alone. Let me see if I can get up to any mischief. Who am I kidding? Probably won't. Might travel out of the city though for a break.

My body is going through this weird phase where I am sexually charged! Seriously no joke! For me to blog about it you know it's serious. I'm not sure where it came from but it's ridiculous. My friends say I'm glowing. I think I'm just giving out hormones or something into the air like a mating call. hahahahaha. If that is the case, I'm only pulling in 'men' 20 years or younger. It's weird. This whole year since January these young children have been after me. I don't understand. I swear the last one was 18!! For real! He asked if 'these were my ends?' and 'which hood I was repping?' I honestly answered 'HUH?'.

Anyway I'm off to grill fish and watch Poirot. I might tamper with my blog again. Don't worry if it looks odd later.
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Update (shebi I posted last night too lazy for a new one)

Freaky Bridesmaid Diet/Week 3 = Lost 2kg
Whoooooooo hoooooo. Okay I know it's a bit confusing but the summary is so far in three weeks I have lost 3 kg in total.

This isn't a post, it's a wail of anguish.

In case you haven't seen this yet. Absolutely true and very funny. It's called 25 THINGS I HATE ABOUT FACEBOOK! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA047JAQsk

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• Wanted to post my fav hymn for Holy Week but can't find it in my handbag. Will do it later.
• Just found out a mutual friend is bi. What do you say to that? Nothing. You put on kettle and make tea.
• Woke up in a rush and wore the wrong trousers to work. Currently looking like a hooker in my office but luckily found long cardigan.
• Second day of freaky bridesmaid diet. I miss complex carbs.
• Still coughing and sniffling (not attractive).
• Mum has decided we are having big Easter cookout. I get to finally do my roast ....for 20!!All welcome.
• I miss dating and male attention. Got asked out, wasn't interested. I hope I'm not going back to days of ice maiden. I better not have hang ups from the whole Baked Beans debacle. That would be such a silly girly thing to do!
• I am grappling with social networking sites on behalf of my college as part of viral marketing hmmmm! Twitter is not fun!
• Hope a channel shows Jesus of Nazareth this week. It's not right if you don't watch Jesus of Nazareth over Easter week :)

Blogging is a hobby and a joy. Not just writing but reading my favourite posts and writing comments and reading comments! But for the first time in ages, my job has made sure I can't do the above properly. Sorry for the delay in relaying what happened after my rant. I didn't want to write it in a rush.

Big kiss and hug to all those that asked after me. I really do appreciate it. I guess what sprung me into action of writing is getting emails in my inbox asking if I'm OK. LOL! I was shocked, so I am responding by fire by force :)

** I'm so sleepy, period pains didn't allow me sleep and I fell like Mike Tyson has pummeled my torso so watch out for any typos.
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Just before I had found out about the meeting, I had come home that Wednesday night to our house phone ringing and my Mum indisposed, so with my coat still on I picked the phone:

Caramel: hello, hello hello? [silence and scratching like NITEL] hello?
Dad: [in Igbo and shouting] Will you keep quiet! I'm trying to talk and you are talking! Shut up so that you can hear me!
Caramel: [in Igbo] is that why you must raise your voice? I really couldn't here anything! Why must you shout at me? I didn't do anything on purpose!

He then dropped the phone on me and called my Mum's mobile. It was after that that my Mum remembered to tell me the good news about the family meeting.

Fast forward to Friday morning. After my rant on Wednesday I had calmed down and decided to just bear the bloody meeting and see what it was about. As I got up, my Mum came into the room to tell me that my Dad (who had come back from a trip to Birmingham the night before) had told her he was not happy with me answering back on the phone call and shouting at him (I hadn't raised my voice one bit). He was going to 'seriously talk' to me about it. My Mum advised me to just apologise and let it blow over so my Dad wouldn't fuss.

Hey! That was it! I lost it. I was so angry inside. I just nodded at my Mum and tried to get ready for work but I was so gutted. I am not coming home from work to be shouted at for no reason and then stand trial for pointing out the obvious. There and then I vowed I wasn't coming for the meeting that night (I have never done that before!).

I arranged with my friend (PL) to go to her seamstress that evening but she wasn't feeling well, so I bit the bullet and asked if I could hide out in her flat till late in the evening. (I have been avoiding her flat as she lives with her brother, ex-hottie, former object of my desire but I was desperate). So that is where I stayed, till late and got home around 11pm.

I thought they were sleeping but about 20 minutes later, I could hear raised voices and lo and behold I realised they were arguing! so loudly and on and on and on. Imagine! I was amazed. What type of middle of the night argument is this one? With their lights off and everything! They went on till after midnight, I don't even know when they finished because I crashed.

So oh, Saturday morning I hear the door slam around 8am and thought someone was putting the rubbish out but it was my Dad leaving the house. He didn't tell anyone where he was going and he switched of his phone. He was meant to go and see my Aunt but never turned up there and by that time my Mum was worried. I wasn't! I knew he was doing it to sulk. He had done it before. He turned up later at 4pm.

My Mum asked me in the morning, didn't I remember about the meeting? I said, nope I didn't. Next question, are there any other diets I can try? (See they were talking about me). I said I will give one another go because my friend was going to do it with me. At this point I was depressed. I went to see a tailor and was meant to go to Luton to see my friend and her family but I took forever at the tailor and wanted to cancel going to Luton but my friend insisted. The long and short of it is after many adventures getting there and coming back (including getting lost, missing trains and getting fined: stupid national rail) I came home at 11.30.

I didn't do that one on purpose but I think my parents thought I did because of the atmosphere in the house. My Dad just said "they are looking for a missing 35 yr old woman please don't stay out late on your own. That was all I got. Sunday the house was too busy because my Dad was flying home on Monday. I helped him pack and ironed shirts and that was that.

It's a shame they fought but the best thing I ever did for myself was not coming home that Friday evening because the full force of my Dad would have been aimed at me because of the phone call and the audacity of me not being a size 12. I know my parents love me and I will never take that for granted but I still mean it when I say it's time for me to move on.