While I was in Nigeria I met a lady who goes to my Father's church. She came to visit my Mum and I and joked at why I was still single (you know the usual). Later after visiting us and bringing her kids to play with my bro she asked for my number and I gave it to her without thinking anything of it.

While in Lagos she sent me a text saying that can I give her my email cos there is a nice quiet guy she wants to just say hi to and talk etc. Now I don't like hook ups. They don't work for me but I didn't want to offend her and I thought well email can't hurt. That day, they guy texted me!! Then called and I pretended like I couldn't hear well and asked to call him later. I was fuming that she gave him my number!!!

Imagine my horror at the emails that I have copied below!!! Have you even heard such rubbish!!!

Good Day. I just got your address from one of my friends, Ada. She's got so much to tell me but we've got so little a time to talk about it. If what she's saying is true, kindly do a little mail just to ensure me that she's not trying to play a fast one on me.
Have the best of the day.

First of all please accept my apologies. When you called me I was in a frantic rush trying to get everything ready from my trip back home and when I got back I have been sucked straight into madness at work. What did she say to you? I will try my best to unravel any mysteries. CaramelD

Thanks for the swift response. Actually, she started by telling me so many good things about one of her cousins but ended up telling me that she's full of loneliness. Refusing a hand of friendship doesn't sound reasonable to me so I accepted it with all honesty.
But it all sounded more like a mystery and fallacy cos she was telling me you wanted to settle down with someone down here. Sincerely, it didn't sound cool to me cos I see no reasons for it and I've not seen, even the image of the person in question. Anyway, as her friend, I couldn't let her feel bad cos she was full of enthusiasm about the whole thing.
My questions are:
Why would you want to go for someone down here when there are so many good ones there?
I sent you a text message, why didn't you respond to it?
Where are you, what are doing, and what are your expectations from a true friend?
I've got so many questions to ask, but taking it in bits will be better.
Have the best of the day.

Good evening,
Thank you very much for your illuminating and alarming email. I think wires have been crossed here. Please do not trouble yourself on my account. I am not 'full of loneliness', and I have no burning desire to go man shopping in Nigeria. Consider this a comedy of errors and I wish you all the best for the year.

Miss Delight

Good morning.
Thanks for your response. Atleast it has shown the type of friend I have in Ada. I'm sincerely sorry for bothering you with all those things I wrote.
Frankly speaking, I'm not going to take it light with her. I hate been taken for a ride.
Have the best of the best.

I am going to call my Dad and ask him to politely tell the lady to back off! I hope the guy shouts at her, next time she will think twice before shooting her mouth! Which kind stupid loneliness? Where did she hear that one? As for desparately seeking a man at home, I have a sneaking suspiscion that my Dad must have said something to her! Na wa oh! I will get to the bottom of this!
22 Responses
  1. Freaksho Says:

    i'm honestly embarrassed on your behalf.

  2. ~Sirius~ Says:

    Arrrrgh left a comment and the internet ate it!

    Let's just say that guy pissed me off with his lame theories of how they are better ones there.......
    And my, who told him he could talk that way to someone....Tsk!

  3. CaramelD Says:

    Freak my dearest do not be! The only thing that saved me from total shame was that I was fuming and that I don't know the guy or anyone he knows (praise God!)
    I thought I had it bad, but my cousin (who also went home) had a Pastoress pray over her in her sitting room when the lady found out she was 27 and not hitched. If she can chop that, I can chop this one :)

  4. you know who this is Says:

    Laughing my ass off! The exchange is even more hilarious than I thought. Nne sorry oh.

  5. that guy is a trip!!! what audacity??? my God...

  6. Chari Says:

    wow...that musta smarted...ouch...sorry mehn...what is with naij people and not minding their business nau?

  7. Sting Says:

    That's just crazy that she did that or said those things to him. At least he seems like a decent person.

  8. Muse Says:

    amazing. did all the parents have a meeting in the last quarter of 2008 AND resolve to hook up all their unmarried kids?

    awfully embarrassing.

  9. CaramelD Says:

    @Sirus and Zara, he's an ass but she gave him platform to be that way.

    @Chari and Sting, if I see her on the streeet it won't be funny. I didn't beg anybody oh!

    @Muse, it's a conspiracy I tell you! Do guys suffer the same abuse? I though it was only girls! I'm more angry than everything else. This is why I'm staying in my house this year oh!

  10. mizchif Says:

    The guy is a real trip. I'm guessing he's blowing all this wrong grammar!

    All these meddlesome family members sef!

  11. Afrobabe Says:

    yicks...the guy is foolish and has no sense at all...even if he was told that u were lonly is that how he would vomit it out...kai...I really hope he shouts at the woman too...mcheeeeewww...rubbish

  12. The guy sabi ask questions o. By the way, the email exchange is an interesting read.

  13. doug Says:

    BFF!!!! Whaddup? Forgive me, I've been so horribly swamped. And you didnt reply my email!!!!

    As for the dude...I shan't waste my energy commenting on such idiocy.

    How you dey now? Who is doing the vanishment now? Mscheeeeew!!!

  14. doug Says:

    I left you a present on my blog Caramel!

  15. Temite Says:

    oh gosh that is horrid. He is a fool and she needs to mind her own business. Gosh I am most definetely scared.

  16. Dabizniz Says:

    He was silly for saying you're lonely. I don't buy into the idea that there are better men her but you should realise that he was only being honest if that was what he was told. Not all people back home have the etiquette to put things in a subtle way as not to offend.

  17. Dabizniz Says:

    sorry oh.. don't be angry he meant no harm

  18. Easy..... guess old folk are not necessarily on the same level with their offspring..... Take it as them showing thir concern, but then frmly let them know you don't want/ need their help in anyways..... The dude would have been better off trying a neutral track -- not bringing up the loneliness issue -- must have been fed a lot of crap by the lady.....

  19. 9ja's OT Says:

    the lady tot she had the right hook up, but she was so wrong,i am "eba-riced" for you
    I love you responses, showed maturity...good job

  20. CaramelD Says:



  21. RocNaija Says:

    lol.. sounded like an upfront guy..
    at least he told you exactly what he heard and didnt push his luck when you put him right..

    no harm done.. right? right?! :-)

  22. CaramelD Says:

    Oga RocNaija,
    There was harm done oh! Just that Jesus died for my sins so I had to let the anger go!