How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundrybasket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note todo more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.I f you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican. Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

11 Responses
  1. Nefertiti Says:

    LMAO... This is hella funny. We go through this every

  2. ibiluv Says:

    couldnt help laffing.....

    my boo's willy doesnt make a woo woo sound it has a sophisticated sound....

    erm....why cover area when u see husband....why not wiggle them twins at him?????

  3. you know who i am Says:

    Incredibly silly! But so true...

  4. LMAO!!!!!
    have jus discovered something life changing
    I aint a real woman
    neither do i pass for a man
    so according to my shower routine
    what am I?

  5. ~Sirius~ Says:

    @ better figure out where you fall, or just create your own.

  6. CaramelD Says:

    You guys are cracking me up!

    @Ibiluv, are we going to start breaking down willy soundtracks? I guess women are a bit more self conscious than blokes.

    @MDM, what does your shower routine consist of?

  7. Freaksho Says:

    and there's aname for the action, by the's called The Sagat.

  8. CaramelD Says:

    Freaksho you have come now! Who said that,and how do you know about it ???

  9. ~Sirius~ Says:

    LMAO @ Freaksho, how wouldn't you have a mane for it.......Freak!
    @ Ibiluv, ROTFLMAO....Wiggling them twins at them

  10. AlooFar Says:

    Question... how did you know the guy part? ;)

    How are you?

  11. Muse Says:

    Sagat? Na! It's called the "catch me if you can"! And the soundtrack is "voom, voom"!