I'm just going to say this real quick so forgive me if I make mistakes. What I am about to go on about happened a while back but a girl I know is going through something similar right now and it annoyed me all over again so I know it is still irratating me.

In any kind of relationship don't just disappear into the air. Whether it is deep relationship, friendship, sex buddy. Whatever!! Don't just stop calling, emailing or texting or whatever the hell form of communication you were using to talk to someone! That is just not on! That is rude and hurtful! If you ever feel like doing it, come back to this post and hear me shouting in a loud voice!

IT'S A COWARDLY WAY OUT.

If things are getting too much for you, if you have problems pulling you away, if you don't want to talk to that person again, you can say "Look it's all a bit much at the moment, I need to stop things etc etc." No matter how the person may not like it, it will be better than dead air, you ignoring their calls or not replying their emails. The person will now be wondering "Errrrr what happened/ what did I do?"

A friend did this to me. First I thought he was sick or something and called twice. Two times he replied with, "I promise to call you back and explain." Nothing. Then I sent a message on FB. Again dead air. Yet at the same time, I could see him chatting with other people on his page! Haba! See stress! I was baffled, then hurt, then very angry! After more air, I deleted him off FB. I couldn't comprehend what I had done to warrant such behaviour and from someone I thought was important.

Last story. I fell for this guy big time. He was my prototype, the idea of what my perfect guy could be. It wasn't him though and we both knew that. Yet when he decided to cool things down, how he did it was to bring to a sharp halt the calls and emails and chats and then move to random phrases under my FB pictures like some old school friend from primary school! Dude please! After cavier you are downgrading me to chips? I don't think so! I am not your hi/hello friend. In my humble opinion, I would have preferred a phone call explaining your thought processes. No one here is a child. I think we all deserve some kind of heads up!


I can say this with full authority because I have been on both sides. I had to tell a guy that I didn't feel the way he did, and I was dreading it! I felt sick to my stomach because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It would have been very easy to just ignore his calls and emails and give him dead air but I called and we had a long (and excrutiating) phone call. He can never say he doesn't know how things stand, that way you don't have to spend time scratching your head.

ALLOW PEOPLE HAVE CLOSURE SO THAT THEY CAN MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!

This rant does not apply to stalker/pyscho types who you have had a conversation with and they are now staking out the dumpster outside your flat looking through your trash. No! This is for normal sane folks.

If you have any thoughts please share them with me, I would love to hear what you think!

OK rant over.

*Warning!! The first part of the post is not to be read while eating**


Dad

Date

OK confess, were you guys all very excited about my date? LMAO!! What a sad reflection on my social life. I should have put up a disclaimer. This wasn't a date we could get excited about. You know, one of those ones that open up a door of maybes. This was a 'satisfy my curiosity' date on both our parts.

He met me after work on Wednesday and I was very grumpy :) I wasn't expecting to see him that day, as that was the day he came in. I was dressed in what I call M&S Mumsy Chic (smart but not sexy) and I was wrecked and tired..so full on grumpy mode. We had dinner near my office and I was glad I had waited. Let me say now straight off, very hot! Over 6 ft tall and broad shoulders with some muscles. I felt small and I love that. Hmmm yummy!

The chemistry was there that night and also on Saturday when we hung out, there is no denying that. You would have to be blind to deny it and I can see! The thing is, he was playing the mysterious card. Honestly it was like seeing a good book on the shelf all glossy and fabulous. You have read the blurb on the back and you want to read more but the book is tightly bound with cellophane wrap so tight that you need a nuclear device to rip it open.

Most of the time the conversation would flow, then he would slip into mystery speak and I'm trying to puzzle him out. Like all humans when I slot the experience into my memory banks, the charm, the politeness, the humour will be over shadowed by the headache inducing 'phantom moves'.

The good thing is that while with him, I wasn't thinking too much about hospitals and work. I could just be a a young woman, enjoying someone's company.

So I promise to give you a guys a signal when I go on a date we can get excited about, but this was just a quick day trip out of my less than sunny reality x

PS If God could whip me up another guy that looks like he did I won't say no ;)

Dear God,

Thank you.

Thank you very very very much. You got my Dad through a nasty six hour surgery and into recovery. For that I am grateful as I know many people lose their lives on the operating table.

If you wouldn't mind, so as not to spoil your good work, please make my Dad behave. It would be a shame if he survived the operating table only to have his devoted wife of 30 years kill him.

I have never seen such in my life.

If you can't make him behave for the sake of your lovely handiwork, then make him behave on my behalf. I am working 12 hour days and the last thing I need when I drag my battered and weary body home is to walk into a war zone.

I do not want to be on Crimewatch or have my home turned into a crime scene. Fingerprint powder is very hard to clean.


I know you are very busy but thank you for listening.

WORDS/PHRASES I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR FOR A WHILE

• My own name, over and over again in the space of thirty minutes.
• "Aunty or Uncle have come to visit and they have brought fruit"
• I want my water slightly heated but not hot"
• "It's too hot"
• "Reduce it"
• "Pick it up"
• "I don't want it anymore"

Because God knows I expose myself here on a monthly basis and have been doing so for nearly four years. What's left ? hahahahaha!

Thank you to BSNC for giving me the Versatile and Stylish Blogger award. I feel very stylish as I sit here and type! I have sooooo much tori that I will put up this post seperately and come back over the weekend for the rest of the gossip. OK here goes (I had to rack my brain a bit for this ):

1. When I am in a rush, my right hand types quicker that my left, which means that my words may be jumbled up like this: Hwere is Caramle Deligth ?

2. I have a serious pet peev with people who crack their bubble gum and make it pop and explode with their teeth. I just think it sounds awful. The sound to me sounds like someone is scratching a blackboard. Urghhh!

3. I am a very sensual person, I love hugging, touching etc. Since we are confessing, there is a freak in there as well. The fact that I'm very particular over who gets to see that side of me, doesn't mean I'm a prude (which some burnt men have mentioned hahaha).

4. On that note, number four is that I have a cool trick of putting my leg over my head :)

5. I can't sleep properly when travelling. Even on 14 hour flights, it is just not happening. So I really value multiple channels with all the on demand movies, shows and radio shows.

6. I do entire dance routines from movies and videos in my kitchen and dining room when I'm doing chores. I even use props like chairs. I though I would have overgrown it by now but nope! My friend was once in a bad mood so to cheer her up (and to her shame and horror) I did Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' on a train platform in London with people watching :)

7. Dirty kitchens and bathrooms freak me out. Seriously. No joke. Grime around the bath, or dried toothpaste around taps or darkened toilet bowls oh no no no no. Let the rest of your house go to blazes but where you prepare your body and your food? Ah please oh!


OK that was my dry list. Have a lovely and relaxed weekend xxx
PS More yarns on the way.
PPS I have a small girl crush on BSNC.

So today at work I am dressed in black tousers, a black vest and and a cream and brown cardigan that doesn't close. I have been up and down the office, talking to everyone in my office and some colleagues in my building.

Around midday I had a meeting with my line manager and the first thing she said is "I can see your leopard print bra"!!!

Chai Jesus!

For three hours I had been walking around with my top completely see through and my bra nice and visible!

The shame!

My top is normally not see through at all. My only explanation is that while on my period my normally big chest goes even bigger and it must have stretched my top more than usual.

See what women suffer!!

PS I have finally booked my theory test. All prayers for success happily welcome.

Ermmmmmm my blog is meant to be a coping mechanism for my life. But my life is now running at a speed that seems to not allow me have time for my blog! Well that's just ridiculous! I refuse to stop writing. Where else will I mutter and rant about all the bizarre things that happen in the never ending drama called life?

So I'm in my office and I'm in early. I could start on one of the never ending news stories I have to write, or start my award submission or call our student ambassadors for help in our events, but no. I'm going to write instead and damn everything else for the next ten minutes.

Well where to start?

Well I don't like my job that much anymore. It breaks my heart to say this but it's true. I also not loving having my pay frozen for the next two years. I can't help run my house on this income so I will have to start looking for a new job around summer.

Oooooooh I'm going to Miami!!! I'm going to Miami !!!!!!!! I'm going to Miami!!!! This will be first non-family related trip to America and I can't wait. It will also be a perfect opportunity to work through my 30b430 list. I haven't forgotten it you know! In fact I shall be crashing a party this weekend if everything goes to plan (that is number 14).

My Dad is back in London for a barrage of more tests and Mum in still in Nigeria for another two weeks, which means me in the kitchen (more so that usual) scratching my head for meal ideas to keep my Dad happy till my Mum gets back (long tings!!!!).

Britain is still full of doom and gloom and everyone hates David Cameron and thinks Nick Clegg is the greatest betrayer since Judas Iscariot.

My work load has tripled and I'm working longer hours which makes not want to exercise anymore. The result is a bigger Caramel and it's not funny at allllllll. My gym membership is going by the wayside so I'm going to cancel it and go to local community classes in kickboxing and Zumba.

Here's a little thing I heard yesterday and want to share: "Fear knocked at the door, faith answered and no one was there."

OK time is up! Back to the salt mines. Shout out to all my favourite bloggers whose blogs I miss reading :(

So.......on the whole, for me, even with some rays of light, 2010 was shit.

From January 3rd when a classmate died to a few days ago when my 16 year old relative passed on too, I felt that the year just wouldn't let up. I also got quite resentful with all that I catalogued in my head as never ending drama, seven deaths, house wahala, Mum's operation, my tussle with pneumonia and fighting unemployment. When we got a cancer diagnosis for a loved one I thought that was the end of me.

I did try very hard but naaaa, it just wasn't gelling (especially over Christmas aarrgghhhh). The funny thing now though is that as we enter 2011, there is that little point of grudging determined optimism. If you don't have hope that things will be better then what kind of life do you hope to live?

So no matter what I have hope for 2011. No the rah rah cheerleader over hyped excitement I had at the beginning of last year, but a quiet focus that I have to get a few basic things right for me. Yes, I said me. Not anyone else. I keep helping people live their own lives I forget to sort mine out. Well that has to stop for now. (I still wish everyone peace and love shah but don't call me LOL).

I hope I'm making sense.

I give this year over to God, totally and completely.

There is a saying related to the bible story of the angels that visited Abraham and Sarah. I can't remember the exact words but it is something like care for all your visitors as you don't know which one might be an angel.

Well, as a Naija person I think that the saying was meant to pacify us because we always have people in our house. All the time! I know it's not just me. My friend used to call my house Heathrow Airport because of all the people that passed through it. Truly nasty ones included an uncle who would leave his facial hair over every damn surface in the bathroom every morning, the female relative who was so tight she wouldn't buy sanitary towels and would instead use our kitchen/toilet roll and the cousin who downloaded porn on my computer and infected my system with nasty viruses.

So you can imagine my unrivaled joy when I got visitors that I have been waiting for over a year for. Having Freaksho and Sirius in my house was a pure joy. I would come back from work all grumpy and moody and jump into the bed where Sirius would be on the iPad looking for which store she is going to obliterate next and Freaksho would be on my computer playing one of the gizzilion games he bought.

I was worried that with five adults in the house that we would step on each others toes. Ha! My Dad complained that he didn't see them enough and my Mum fussed over what to cook Freaksho! Can you imagine? I had to pick my mouth off the floor.

I haven't told them this but the best bit was watching a young couple in action. Seeing the mini spats that would quickly blow over, watching Sirius running around in her nightie and boots (??!!) because her husband was hungry and seeing them chill at the dining table, heads together, but hands on some gadget (Lord have mercy, wires everywhere) :)

From my point of view, it was nice to have my Lagos life in London. Of course I have put on extra weight thanks to holiday chopping! It's like I've had Christmas early. I am now also an iChild and the proud owner of an iPod Touch, which means I have music AND my books at my finger tips. I don't know which one excites me more.

I think the visit was well timed though, it brought fun back into my life. I've been so serious and grey for so long. I don't know where the smiling easy going girl has gone. I think adult life is suppressing her. So I have decided to conquer all the goals and wacky things I have always wanted to do but seem to put off. I am going to have a 30 things to do before I'm 30 list. As you can see I only have twenty so your help will be much appreciated in completing the list. I will write about each thing when I do it and hopefully we will have a full tick list by September next year.


List so far .............


1) Go to each part of the British Isles (1/3 done)

2) Get my driving licence

3) Take part in and extreme sport or activity (Planned)

4) Chat up a man that I fancy

5) Get a colonic irrigation

6) Lose the last 10kg

7) Go to the Mediterranean

8) Go camping

9) Get myself on national/London radio or TV.

10) Eat at a Michelin Starred restaurant

11) Go to a live sporting event or concert of a legend. (Planned)

12) Ride a camel

13) Run 5k for charity

14) Crash a party (Done !!!)

15) Go to the races

16) Stay in bed for 20 hours in one day without being sick.

17) Wear traditional to work.

18. Go to the Caribbean

19) Go on pilgramage or retreat

20) Go to a performance of Agatha Christie's 'Mousetrap'.

21) Bake a giant Jaffa Cake (suggested by GNG)

22) Plant a tree (suggested by LusciousRon)